cereza Posted August 13, 2011 Share Posted August 13, 2011 I know that for many women it doesn't matter but for me it does! I want the guy to open the car door for me. How do I make him know without actually telling him (which would be weird because we have just gone on one date) Why doesn't he do it? I mean to open the car door when I'm about to get in the car. Any suggestions? Also why would he prefer to text instead of calling?? I"m shy but he is not.. Link to comment
NowandZen Posted August 13, 2011 Share Posted August 13, 2011 Wait a few seconds before getting out. If he's the kind of man who would open a door, he'll get the hint. Link to comment
EmmaB78 Posted August 13, 2011 Share Posted August 13, 2011 Cereza - this doesn't answer your question, but I was just talking to my friend about this the other day so it's funny you brought it up. I was telling her, nothing good has ever come from the kind of guys who open car doors for you, lol. Don't know what it is, and any other type of door doesn't seem to matter; but for some reason, every single guy who's ever started out by opening car doors for me has turned out to be a jerk later. Link to comment
cereza Posted August 13, 2011 Author Share Posted August 13, 2011 omg! maybe is true because the last guy I dated that open the car door for me turn out to be a jerk! Link to comment
anya1607307555 Posted August 13, 2011 Share Posted August 13, 2011 I would say your values aren't compatible with this new date. I think he would have automatically opened the car door, if he felt as you do. Link to comment
Stay_home Posted August 13, 2011 Share Posted August 13, 2011 Cereza - this doesn't answer your question, but I was just talking to my friend about this the other day so it's funny you brought it up. I was telling her, nothing good has ever come from the kind of guys who open car doors for you, lol. Don't know what it is, and any other type of door doesn't seem to matter; but for some reason, every single guy who's ever started out by opening car doors for me has turned out to be a jerk later. A man opening a car door for you has nothing to do with him being a jerk or not. If he's a jerk, then he's a jerk before you even met the man. Link to comment
In the Dark Posted August 13, 2011 Share Posted August 13, 2011 omg! maybe is true because the last guy I dated that open the car door for me turn out to be a jerk! Don't let him open the car door then Otherwise what you could do is fiddle with the door handle and say "I think something is wrong with the door handle.....I can't get the door open......" Then he tries it out and opens it for you. Link to comment
cereza Posted August 13, 2011 Author Share Posted August 13, 2011 That's such a good idea! thanks for the tip, I'll try it next time. Link to comment
EmmaB78 Posted August 13, 2011 Share Posted August 13, 2011 lol! My completely unscientific opinion is that opening a car door is so old school that most guys don't even think about it unless they are using it as a "move." These tend to be the same guys who insist on paying for most things and even carrying things for you that you are perfectly capable of carrying yourself. Sounds nice on the surface, but, ultimately, it's a little patronizing, and I think that comes out in their behavior later. They tend to believe in more traditional gender roles, like he gets to be aggressive, funny, the life of the party, and you're supposed to be his quiet, uncomplaining, adoring companion. Now, I don't want to confuse these guys with the basic "polite" ones - like I said, never got a bad vibe from a guy opening, say, a restaurant door for me (though watch out if he touches your back as you walk through the door, like you might get lost or something on your way in, lol), and certainly I like it when a guy will carry something for me when I'm really obviously struggling with it. But if he feels unmanly because I'm carrying a light grocery bag, well, bad news. Link to comment
Stay_home Posted August 13, 2011 Share Posted August 13, 2011 Way too much generalizing going on in there.. Link to comment
EmmaB78 Posted August 13, 2011 Share Posted August 13, 2011 Ha ha - well, I DID say it was unscientific! Also, obviously I'm not going to run for the hills if some guy does any of these things - it's just odd that I've had 3 different experiences with guys like this and they ALL turned out the same way. But, yeah, that's clearly a pretty small sample size, lol. Link to comment
cereza Posted August 13, 2011 Author Share Posted August 13, 2011 I think I'm old school because I love it when guys always pay, open doors, carry things for me, call me first, etc. I just hope he will get it without having to tell him. Or should I just tell him? that would be weird... Link to comment
EmmaB78 Posted August 13, 2011 Share Posted August 13, 2011 I don't think you should tell him. To me that kind of defeats the purpose of him doing it, you know? If you like all of those things, you should look for a guy who does them naturally. But maybe he will do the rest - just not the car door thing. See how it progresses. Link to comment
LTS48 Posted August 13, 2011 Share Posted August 13, 2011 I did this one time (on a whim) and the girl told me that she wasn't an invalid. Never pulled that one again I agree, wait a few seconds, if he is ever going to do it he will. Link to comment
DeviousOne Posted August 13, 2011 Share Posted August 13, 2011 For a guy to do that....He just has to naturally has to do it... Hinting it would be pointless and make him feel forced. Chivalry is dead and women killed it The "Jerks" You said that did to it fall into one of two categories control freak or player that he knows women notice those little things and like it. Comes natural to me since i grew up seeing my dad to that for my mom. Link to comment
EmmaB78 Posted August 13, 2011 Share Posted August 13, 2011 Yup, DeviousOne - every guy who did that turned out to want all of the relationship-y things without the burden of, you know, a relationship. Link to comment
anya1607307555 Posted August 13, 2011 Share Posted August 13, 2011 I used to work with a man who opened doors for women, wouldn't hear of a woman buying a round of drinks (publicly refusing and offending them) or carried heavy items for them, whilst continually announcing how much of a 'gentleman' he was. I've never felt less of a human being than in his prescence. Link to comment
banal Posted August 13, 2011 Share Posted August 13, 2011 This is unreal. Sorry if this is blunt but...WHY DO YOU CARE??????? Is this what you seriously fixate on after a date? How was he? Nice? Friendly? Sweet? Funny? Did you enjoy yourself? Are you looking forward to seeing him again? Link to comment
thejigsup Posted August 13, 2011 Share Posted August 13, 2011 Opening car doors for me and the like make me feel "less than". I don’t really like chivalry, but that's just me. If you want this, let him know. I have also found men who do this to be major players. Strange and it probably means nothing. Link to comment
EmmaB78 Posted August 13, 2011 Share Posted August 13, 2011 Rectich - I don't think that's correct. A lot of women won't even call themselves feminists these days - but I can tell you that anyone who does (myself included) does NOT want all of that stuff. I don't want to offend the OP, but I'm gonna go ahead and guess that she's not exactly a women's rights activist. Link to comment
DeviousOne Posted August 13, 2011 Share Posted August 13, 2011 Opening car doors for me and the like make me feel "less than". I don’t really like chivalry, but that's just me. If you want this, let him know. I have also found men who do this to be major players. Strange and it probably means nothing. Example of how women killed it.....They want to be equal when its convenient lol Most players arent that good to KNOW how much of an impact opening doors have anyways....lol Link to comment
EmmaB78 Posted August 13, 2011 Share Posted August 13, 2011 Rectich - You really need to read a history book - water fountains and bus seats were not women's issues. And, seriously, because she VOTES, she shouldn't ask a guy to open a door for her?!?! What is she's the type of woman who wants to stay home with the kids? Who likes to do all of the cooking/cleaning? Is she still a hypocrite then for asking for chivalry? And DeviosOne - I have no idea how you read "Women only want equality when it's convenient" into someone's post who specifically stated that she DOESN'T want chivalry. That particular person was clearly stating that she wants equality accross the board - she doesn't want anything "extra" from men. I can't figure out what the heck you guys are so upset about. Are you mad that you CAN'T open car doors or that you HAVE to? Which is it??? I love when guys say women killed chivalry - read your own posts! If that's how guys who open car doors think about women, then, yeah, you can keep it. Finally, I don't think I'm a hypocrite when I ask a guy to carry something that I'm physically incapable of carrying myself - women and men aren't equal in physical strength. Is a guy a hypocrite because if we decide to have kids, he prefers that I be the one to push it out??? Link to comment
DN Posted August 13, 2011 Share Posted August 13, 2011 Why do want such a power trip as to have your boyfriend act as a servant for you? Why do you want to take financial advantage of him by expecting him to pay for all the dates? Link to comment
catfeeder Posted August 13, 2011 Share Posted August 13, 2011 Sounds like someone's been watching too much Mad Men. Do you want a BF or a valet? Link to comment
VanSprinkles Posted August 13, 2011 Share Posted August 13, 2011 Cereza - this doesn't answer your question, but I was just talking to my friend about this the other day so it's funny you brought it up. I was telling her, nothing good has ever come from the kind of guys who open car doors for you, lol. Don't know what it is, and any other type of door doesn't seem to matter; but for some reason, every single guy who's ever started out by opening car doors for me has turned out to be a jerk later. If there were a like button for this, I would like it. Not to dis the ones who are actually genuine. Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.