What does he want??

[smyles3512]

I've tried dating a guy whom I known for 30years. Needless to say, it did not work out due to his emotional hangups from a previous relationship. I've decided to heal and move on. We did not speak for a few weeks. When we spoke, I let him know that I accepted his apology, forgave him, and we could only be friends. I have heard from him daily for 5 months. Since our fallout, we have not seen one another because I refuse to go out with him. I am confused as to why I am receiving the daily contact. Is it guilt? Is it trying to wiggle his way back in? Is he trying to have me see him in a different light? I don't know...Just need some insight as to what it could be. Thanks.

[lana111]

id love to know bc i have two guys who text me on a weekly basis who i havent seen/dated in forever! of course, i engage them after the texts so thats why they keep sending em...

 

but i think its just bc they cant let go. maybe the same for your guy.

[learning2relax]

No one can answer that question but them. But if you turn the question on yourself.....Why do you answer the texts? What do YOU want?

 

The reason I ask is you are asking a question about them that you cannot answer and you cannot control whether or not they text you. You can control what you do - thus the question....what do YOU want?

[Janeiac]

smyles, you don't say if you've had an ongoing friendship or regular contact with this man over the 30 years. Was this someone you knew in school or something and then later met again, or have you been seeing each other all along through the years? Has it been a close friendship?

If it's been close, you can ask him directly what's going on with him, and tell him yourself frankly how you feel. If it's someone you don't know well, even though it may have spanned such a long time, it's best to treat it like any other dating situation and either tell him you want to be just friends (if you do) or ask him to stop contacting you, and then stop responding.

Either way, there is no point in trying to guess, and you can't read his mind.

[Thorshammer]

Unless you guys had a great amazing friendship in the relationship, then they are possibly trying to work their way back in. If he had someone they would share their time with them instead. It might be his way to show hes changed- by being a friend it allows him to showcase to you hes through with his past (which means he really is, or is blockading it).

[RitaTrue]

No one can answer that question but them. But if you turn the question on yourself.....Why do you answer the texts? What do YOU want?

 

The reason I ask is you are asking a question about them that you cannot answer and you cannot control whether or not they text you. You can control what you do - thus the question....what do YOU want?

This is an excellent question.

And bears repeating again:

 

No one can answer that question but them. But if you turn the question on yourself.....Why do you answer the texts? What do YOU want?