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I had a lovely relationship with my girlfriend until I learnt that she has been hanging out with her ex constantly without letting me know.


She is now abroad to visit her parents. Two days ago, I learn that her ex picked her up at the airport, they went to a concert together and also she visited his place to watch movies and drink tea. He also called her every day when she is there.


I learnt all these when I started wondering who her "friends" were and then she decided to tell me that one of them is her ex she dated last summer and then they had to break up online due to long distance. But they kept talking online before and after she started dating me 5 months ago and we have been official 4 months ago.


When I asked her why she hasn't told me, she said they are just friends so why should it matter? I told her I'm very upset and uncomfortable about this and I can't have a relationship with a girl who doesn't focus all her attention to her new partner and does not respect his feelings. I also told her that it is very inconsiderate of her to leave me in a situation where I will worry if she is going out with her ex every time she goes away to see her parents.


After insisting a lot that he is just a friend and she can't let him go and a fierce argument, she realizes that she hurt me and tells the ex she wants to cease contact with him because it is affecting me and our relationship. The ex tells her that he won't bother us anymore. (That's what she told me.)


After all these, she is constanlty calling me, apologizing, reassuring that everything is allright and saying she is only mine. Even though I want to trust her completely again, my mind is constantly telling me that I can't trust her and she still has feelings for her ex. She still has him on her Facebook and she hasn't cut all her contact with him so I'm in a paranoia that they will still be in touch and I won't hear about it at all.


This is really affecting my emotional and mental health and I'm not sure how our relationship could go back to normal unless she gets him totally out of her life. It is very obvious that the guy still has some feelings for her and will keep trying unless she sees that she is giving him hope by not cutting contacts with him.


What is the best action I could take here? I'm not a fan of telling her to do things but I don't see any other solutions.

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Walk away, sorry. Trust me, my ex was doing this to me while we were together. She will leave you in time for him anyway. My exgf would actually put down her ex, call him an a**, tell me stories about how he hit her and cheated on her, etc. He moved to another state even, and she still maintained contact behind my back.

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