what the hell?!

[Cmaj7th]

my date was totally stressing out all night what gives! my buddies band came in town tonight so we went to go see them. it was at a house that some of my friends live in, in between the bands it was like a big party. and the whole night the girl I came in was wound really tight. we've been best friends for a few years and have only recently been dating the last few months.

 

as soon as we got there (she was driving because I had been drinking) she started getting really tense about the parking because we had to look around for awhile. then the whole time she kept leaving without saying anything to talk to her friends she hadnt seen in awhile (it was pretty packed there and hard to find her). I dont care about that at all and understand there were people she wanted to talk to, I just made a joke about how Id look over my shoulder and she'd be gone. she got real mad and said I was trying to make her feel bad, what?!

 

after all the bands played most of the people there left. it was just a few of us still hanging out on the deck; the guys I came with, the girl and my buddy who was in the band. I tried to kiss her and she said no, then at one point I tried to put my arm around her and she asked me to stop. so I made another joke about her denying me all night and she got mad again. she said it was bad timing because she was trying to talk to my buddy and because I hadnt been affectionate all night. but how could I if she kept running off?

 

is she justified in being this difficult? is this normal? I know I joke around alot but I dont think what I said was mean.

[DN]

Seems strange behaviour - unless she is interested in someone else and didn't want it to look as if you were her boyfriend.

[elcie]

It seems as if she had something on her mind that was stressing her out even before the party; hence her tension with the parking.

 

It might be about you or it might not. But her over-reaction to your perfectly normal attempts to interact with her points to there being a problem she has with you.

 

It would be a good idea to see if everything is OK once she is in a more receptive mood.

[Cmaj7th]

Yeah she came over my house for a bit after the show. She did say earlier as we were driving that I talk to my one friend Mandy more than her when theyre both around. And that is true. I used to like my friend Mandy alot for a pretty long time but I never acted on it because shes in a serious relationship. I did get over her a while ago though and only consider her a friend. But Mandy is very chatty like I am and the girl Im dating is very introverted. When we're alone she talks quite a bit but whenever we're in a group she's incredibly silent. So naturally I talk to Mandy more because the girl Im dating doesnt say anything!

 

She said that means I still like Mandy but I told her its that she hardly talks in groups. and I do try very hard to direct my conversation to her but shes so shy around people it doesnt matter. Mandy was at the show and I talked to her a good amount there, she mightve gotten mad but idk.

 

I dont think she was interested in someone at the show though. This girl has liked me alot for the last year or so. She keeps up huge walls though because I was open about how I felt about Mandy in the past. Me and the current girl also slept together a long time ago when we were really drunk, and I was so afraid of losing her friendship that I denied having feelings for me when she asked. I get why she has hangups with me but I think the last few months Ive been very genuine in showing how much I care.

[elcie]

The fact that your gf is introverted explains a lot. At a party, she'll be outside her comfort zone and will be more vulnerable to situations that she might not be able to cope with; such as the sight of seeing you and Mandy talking a lot together.

 

If you understand the way your gf feels in situations like this it will be easier for you to deal with it.

[Sn0man]

Sounds to me like you should move on to the next one - this one doesn't sound all that interested.