I feel So Alone..

[Coconut Twin]

Hi all,

 

I am feeling that unequivocal loneliness, the kind where it doesn't matter how many people you know or can call for comfort, it just doesn't help. I miss a man in my life, a soulmate, sharing quality time and doing things together. I miss that so much!

 

No matter how much I throw myself into daily activities, when I go home at the end of the day I feel so desolate and alone. Opportunities to find a lovely guy at my age is wearing thin.

 

As much as I smile through the pain of loneliness, I know deep down it shakes me. Easy come, easy go...that's becoming my view on relationships.

 

I reluctantly.joined a dating site, had quite a lot of responses, however they really weren't my type. None of them made my heart leap.

 

I just want that one amazing person who will trigger off that overwhelming feeling of love that makes you radiate like the sun...

 

Sometimes you need that special someone to make you happy. It's not co dependant because I am happy mostly with who I am but having a man in your life is a gigantic bonus. Nobody wants do be alone forever let's face it...

 

So yea I really feel, empty and alone

[Cheetarah]

If you need the someone special to make you happy, it is dependency. No, many people do not want to be alone forever, but I'll tell you something that I learned about myself - I will probably be alone forever(or doomed to the unhealthy relationships I speak of below) if I don't do something about my need for a guy in my life. When you need like that, when it breaks you not to have it, you will settle for less than what you want, you will take on so much more, you will excuse poor behavior, you will meet people who can't fulfill your needs but you'll be blinded by the fact that you're not alone and the sun is shining out of both your asses, and you'll grow resentful later.

 

Regarding no one making your heart leap - That used to be what I went for. And I wound up in some really toxic situations. I bypassed all the stable guys in favor for some drama with some emotionally underdeveloped underdog(like attracts like, I suppose). So next time I do online dating(or dating at all) - I am going something for a little mundane. A little boring(read: not the ups and downs and 'excitement' that comes with very emotionally unstable people), a few awkward gaps in the conversation, someone who doesn't sweep me off my feet. Someone who I don't obsess over, not someone who obsesses over me. Just two people, enjoying each other, with similar values and directions in life, mutual respect and support - Yeaaaah...That's my dream, lol. Nothing crazy. I want to leave that behind.

 

My mom sent me an article yesterday. Maybe it will help you, too. link removed

[Coconut Twin]

Hi Mintiya,

 

Thanks for the response!

 

The link you sent is interesting. Why? Because I'm a person who is well known by everyone to love my own company, I don't socialize too much, I rarely need to have people around to feel comforted and yes once I was called weird by one of my exs because they couldn't get round the fact that I enjoyed my own company!

 

Whatever I have right this moment will pasa but just wanted a release and we ENA is great for that

 

Thanks for the advice, yea like yourself maybe I'll have to go for the more mundane so as not to get into another emotional rollercoaster type relationship again!

[wtm78]

Hmmm... Sometime life just want you to learn a lesson. Until you learnt what you need to learn it is going to keep repeating itself. The more you want to have someone the more it is not going to give someone to you. But maybe just maybe when you can finally say with or without someone for the rest of your life you are happy and contented. Maybe that is the time when someone will appear...

[chitown9]

I think being alone is better than being in a dysfunctional relationship. I would think about that when you feel lonely for not having a partner at this time.