Aaliyah Posted July 31, 2011 Share Posted July 31, 2011 Ok so a friend is really upset with me about not dropping what I was doing to help her a couple of days ago. For awhile my friend's car has been acting up and not working properly and right now she doesn't have the money to fix it, so basically she's been taking the bus and asking people for rides to get to point A and B. In the past, I've helped her out a lot.. I've taken her to work plenty of times. One time she actually called me at 6 Am in the morning out of my sleep to help take her to work and I didn't have a problem with it and I did. But now I'm actually really starting to get irritated about it and I feel wrong but I'm getting tired of doing this for her. So a couple of days ago, I was out with friends at a gathering having fun and here she calls me at the last minute telling me again that she needs a ride to work and that she would like it if I can stop what I'm doing, drive ALL the way accross town to get her and take her to work. I really felt some kind of way about it because I was already busy having fun enjoying my day with friends and I just felt like if she called me in advance, I could have picked her up early, dropped her off to work and then I could have gone to the gathering.But I really didn't feel like leaving because I was already comfortable with where I was at and I was having fun. So I told her hopefully she could find somebody else to take her because I really couldn't do it this time. So basically she got upset and hung the phone up in my face. We haven't spoken since and she deleted my facebook and haven't answered my calls. But it really irks me because there have been many times I've helped her before, even getting up out of my sleep to take her to work and now that one time I couldn't be her rescuer, she wants to get upset with me?? In someways I feel bad for not dropping what I was doing but I really just didn't feel like stopping what I was doing to help her.. I'm just confused because I feel sorta wrong but at the same time I don't.. I really enjoy our friendship.. I just hope she can get her car working again because this is creating drama.. Link to comment
metrogirl Posted July 31, 2011 Share Posted July 31, 2011 She behaved very immaturely. It's not your responsibility to get her to and from work. She probably became dependent on you taking her back and forth and probably thinks that you should continue to do so. The problem is people have lives and shouldn't be expected to drop everything to rush to their aid. If she needed a ride that bad, she could have taken a bus or a taxi. Link to comment
DylanNotorious Posted July 31, 2011 Share Posted July 31, 2011 Tell her to catch a cab. It's not your problem that she has no money. She is using you. Link to comment
DN Posted July 31, 2011 Share Posted July 31, 2011 I agree with the others - she is using you and the fact that she got upset one time you said no proves it. Link to comment
RedDress Posted July 31, 2011 Share Posted July 31, 2011 I agree wholeheartedly. She was being a selfish brat and it's not your responsibility at all. The only thing you could have differently is let her know earlier that it was starting to be a strain on you if you were feeling this way (if you were always doing things for her she may have become accustomed to this)... but in no way, shape or form are you obligated to do this for her. She is wrong. Link to comment
Aaliyah Posted July 31, 2011 Author Share Posted July 31, 2011 I agree with you guys so why do I feel so guilty about this?? I mean it's not like she was a bad friend. She has done a lot for me as well! She even went out of her way to buy me a nice jacket for my birthday and she's always been there for me. I guess in some ways I felt obligated to do those things for her because she did a lot for me as well and the one time I couldn't do something for her I feel guilty about it.. But I'm really irritated how she just decided to end things over that one little incident where I didn't stop what I was doing for her.. Maybe she just was using me.. Link to comment
metrogirl Posted July 31, 2011 Share Posted July 31, 2011 Just because she bought you a nice jacket doesn't mean you are obligated to take her to work everyday. Friends do things for each other but I wouldn't/couldn't drive someone to work every single day nor would I expect them to buy me something nice all the time. If she wants to end the friendship over something so trivial then she wasn't truly a good friend. Link to comment
Aaliyah Posted July 31, 2011 Author Share Posted July 31, 2011 Just because she bought you a nice jacket doesn't mean you are obligated to take her to work everyday. Friends do things for each other but I wouldn't/couldn't drive someone to work every single day nor would I expect them to buy me something nice all the time. If she wants to end the friendship over something so trivial then she wasn't truly a good friend. You are so right and now thinking back to it, I even had my other friend's dad who is a mechanic have a look at her car to fix some issues so I've done my share of helping her. If she can't be greatful for all I've done for her, oh well... Link to comment
metrogirl Posted July 31, 2011 Share Posted July 31, 2011 You are so right and now thinking back to it, I even had my other friend's dad who is a mechanic have a look at her car to fix some issues so I've done my share of helping her. If she can't be greatful for all I've done for her, oh well... ANd what happened with that, did she not fix her car? Link to comment
Aaliyah Posted July 31, 2011 Author Share Posted July 31, 2011 ANd what happened with that, did she not fix her car? She claimed the guy looked at her car and told her what she needed done to it to get the engine working, but once he threw in a price, she claimed she couldn't get it fixed for the price so I'm like whatever with it now.. Link to comment
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