EmmaLeigh Posted July 31, 2011 Share Posted July 31, 2011 So I've been sleeping with this guy that I graduated college with and I don't do this often. He's only the 2nd person I've ever had sex with (the first one being my boyfriend last year) Anyway, I've (obviously) developed feelings for him...and I don't know how to approach the topic with him. We talk and hang out and watch movies and stuff, but the only time we've ever talked about "us" is when I asked him if he was sleeping with anyone else, the answer being no. Anyway, I just wondered if anyone had any advice on how to approach the topic. Thanks! Link to comment
sognatrice Posted July 31, 2011 Share Posted July 31, 2011 If you're mature enough to let a man inside you, you're mature enough to broach the subject with him. Tell him straight up: "I'm starting to like you more than just someone I casually sleep with and I can see myself being very happy just sleeping with/being with you. How does that make you feel?" Easy as pie Link to comment
DylanNotorious Posted July 31, 2011 Share Posted July 31, 2011 Well it depends what you've signed up for. Is it a FWB situation? Or is it just something that has happened, and is continuing to happen? You see, it's very hard to change this into a relationship. Once you start having sex you've taken this to the highest level it can go. You guys have had no getting to know you stages, you have no foundation. You just sleep together and that's it. It's like where do you go from there? You don't really need the relationship when you can just have the sex. So it's very hard to twist this around. I would imagine he already knows how you feel. You've put yourself in a hard position. If you stop sleeping with him, then he'll twist it back on you. If you keep sleeping with him, he will keep you around. Does he talk about relationships at all? Has he mentioned you in any long term plans that he has? Link to comment
EmmaLeigh Posted July 31, 2011 Author Share Posted July 31, 2011 Yeah I want to tell him and I know I need to, should I just straight up ask? I'm a little bit new when it comes to that type of thing, and he's a bit shy sometimes. BUT I know what that's what I have to do so I will....eventually... It's not really an FWB situation...I mean I've known him for years, but we just started hanging out in May and a little bit after that was the first time we slept together. I don't think he really focuses on the long term, but I don't know! I'm just so confused. I should just be an adult about all this and talk to him but I think the thing that's stopping me is fear of losing what we have right now. Sometimes I think he's just into me for the sex, but at the same time we flirt and talk about real life things (not just dumb every day "this is what I did today" things) and we cuddle on the couch and ugh, it's just hard. A part of me regrets doing it in the first place, but then again I don't because I really like him. Sorry for rambling! Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 I agree with the above. When you put the cart before the horse, it's difficult if not impossible to go backwards. Why would it be a problem in asking where you stand? Link to comment
EmmaLeigh Posted August 1, 2011 Author Share Posted August 1, 2011 There's no problem if I ask, I just get super nervous Link to comment
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