Roomate thinks it's ok to drive while drunk

[Nerdyjock]

Hello all,

 

my roomate/friend has been getting intoxicated lately more than usual. This isn't a problem in itself, but he will drive home super late (and sometimes even go to other parties) while very drunk. He always drives. I've offered to be his taxi when needed but he doesn't ask... he just shows up late really drunk to our house.

 

What more can I do besides express my disagreement with this behavior? He often shrugs it off as if I'm joking. I'm worried he's going to get himself or others hurt or killed. I am very worried about this. It also makes me angry... then I feel guilty for being angry.

 

Not sure what else I can do. If it was only self destructive I'd say live and let live.. but the thing is he is putting more people than himself at risk.

 

Thanks for reading...

[Capricorn3]

There's not much you can do. You've already offered to drive and expressed how you feel about it. He refuses your offer and doesn't think there's a problem. You cannot help people who don't want to be helped. NO need for you to feel bad or guilty, you've done your bit. The rest is up to him now.

[chitown9]

This is a serioius problem and I am happy that you see it that way too. I would call your local police station and ask them what you can do under the circumstances. When you call have his car license plate number. They may put out a BOLO for his car. If you know where he is, say at the address of the party or the bar he is going to, that would be helpful too. It looks like your roomate needs some legal intervention. Maybe a night in the pokey will set him to start thinking about his drinking as a problem. You are a good friend...

[DylanNotorious]

Yeah I was going to say the same thing as chi.

 

He is putting people's lives in serious danger when he drives around drunk. You would be doing him and all the other fellow road users a big favour.

 

Or else just ask him to move out. Or you move out. It's not fun living with a drunk.

[Snowy]

First off - you are a very responsible person. Your friend is lucky to have you.

 

I've been to a road trauma reenactment session recently. They basically acted out a typical crash involving teenagers and also got some car accident survivors to talk about their experiences.

 

It totally changed my life and the way I think towards irresponsible driving.

 

One of the survivors was missing a leg. She had an accident the night before her birthday.

 

There was also a 40 something year old lady in a wheelchair with the lower half of her body permanently paralysed. She had that accident when she was a teen and the thirty something years since then, she spent in a wheelchair.

 

There were other including a man with permanent brain injury...etc.

 

Perhaps the only way for your friend to learn is to traumatize him. The people who think, "Oh those crashes won't happen to me", are the people who get into crashes.

[Firiel]

Honestly, I would do what chitown suggested. Call the police and report him. If you know he will be partying, you can even if the cops the address of the place he's at so they can watch for his car to leave. Normally I'm not one for "tattling," but in this case, he is putting the lives of innocent people in danger, so he needs to be stopped.

[Nerdyjock]

Thanks for your input everyone.

 

I'm glad I posted, because I never would have thought of calling the local police to talk about my "options" (for lack of better word). I didn't know you could pre-empetively report things.

 

I hate to be a friend who rats someone out, but I have no tolerance for putting innocent people at risk. I am all for letting people indulge in their own preferences no matter how self-destructive they may be, but once the line of infringing on others' rights is crossed, my tolerance is gone.