chadjohnson Posted July 31, 2011 Share Posted July 31, 2011 I finally did it. I told her I could not get over her leaving me for another guy, or when she took him to her parents after our intial reunion. I told her that I loved her very much, and she was an incredible person. I told her she did nothing wrong after the issues with the other guy, it was just something that made it hard for our love to feel the same. Its kind of scary right now, but I feel like a huge weight is off my chest. I still feel kind of selfish, but the truth is I was depressed for a long time, and just wanted to be happy. I guess when your lover leaves you for another man, its really really hard to ever go back to where it was. Perhaps some can, but I did not have the jesus in me to do it, im too human. WIsh me luck! Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted July 31, 2011 Share Posted July 31, 2011 Good for you buddy! I hope this really spikes your self-esteem. How did she take it? Link to comment
guynextdoor Posted July 31, 2011 Share Posted July 31, 2011 You feel selfish? Shouldn't she be the one to feel selfish for cheating on you? Link to comment
chadjohnson Posted July 31, 2011 Author Share Posted July 31, 2011 She started crying, told me was sorry, felt like an awful person and fled into the night, and yes I feel really good about myself. I did something really really hard out of self respect, and happiness. And I feel selfish because I will always love her, and hate to see people in pain, even if they deserve it. Link to comment
thejigsup Posted July 31, 2011 Share Posted July 31, 2011 You were honest. Sometimes that hurts people very much, but it is always the right way to go. Look at how many people here on this board have been hurt by dishonesty. I can take the pain from blunt honesty much easier than I can pain from lies...most people can. Good for you! Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted July 31, 2011 Share Posted July 31, 2011 Well I hope that feeling of relief and confidence sticks with you and makes you stronger. Link to comment
whes Posted July 31, 2011 Share Posted July 31, 2011 This took a lot of courage. I am so glad you were able to stand up for yourself, and that you are already feeling stronger for it. Don't loose that. Link to comment
chadjohnson Posted July 31, 2011 Author Share Posted July 31, 2011 yeah, it was just never the same for me after that, and I just felt like I should be honest with her, and not drag it on any longer. Link to comment
chadjohnson Posted July 31, 2011 Author Share Posted July 31, 2011 thanks. it was hard. I will always love her, but the resentment was too much. Link to comment
MasterPo Posted July 31, 2011 Share Posted July 31, 2011 I was in the same situation. It really sucks to forgive one moment then remember she was in his arms for almost two years, then get so disgusted with myself for the emo rollover. Glad it's almost over. I wish I had the chance you did and maybe I will. I wish she hadn't done it - for whatever the reason - I just wish she hadn't. Link to comment
almostfound Posted July 31, 2011 Share Posted July 31, 2011 There is a true release from the past...of new beginnings and ending of bondage. This may sound dramatic to you, but this is what being held by an ex can feel like...YOU ARE FREE! Free to feel love again .....renewal...Congrats Link to comment
Snowy Posted July 31, 2011 Share Posted July 31, 2011 Good job OP. I think now is the time for you to turn over a new leaf. Link to comment
chadjohnson Posted July 31, 2011 Author Share Posted July 31, 2011 yeah, I tried really really hard to forgive her, and I thought time would change things, but the pain and images never went away. It was horrible because I never wanted to dump her in the first place. I mean she tried really really hard to make things work, but it was just too late. I still feel a lot of guilt hurting her, but I had to do it. Link to comment
chadjohnson Posted July 31, 2011 Author Share Posted July 31, 2011 and thats the thing, even if she felt justified doing it, it still hurts like hell, and when she did that she intially murdered our love. I mean I realize she was lost and depressed but oh man, it hurt. Link to comment
catfeeder Posted July 31, 2011 Share Posted July 31, 2011 You did the right thing, even for her. When the consequences of taking a lover for granted and cheating include losing the lover, it can teach a person how to become a better partner with improved coping skills someday. When there are no consequences to cheating, there's nothing to prevent a person from doing what 'worked' for them before. You already know you did the right thing for yourself. A future of resentment and always wondering if there could be a next time isn't a great situation to settle for. While you can't help who you love, you can at least understand that some people are best loved from far away. Head high. Link to comment
hazelnut321 Posted July 31, 2011 Share Posted July 31, 2011 thanks. it was hard. I will always love her, but the resentment was too much. But love without trust is an empty shell, you must have both. Good luck Chadjohnson, I have a feeling someone as strong as you are will do great! Link to comment
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