We both thought it would last forever...now possibly breaking up.

[confuzed25]

6 months I have been with my current boyfriend. He came on very strong in the beginning...he liked me SO much and it showed. He was always texting me, wanted to see me ALOT, was very affectionate when we were together. It was like he had to constantly be touching me in some way when we were together and he was so happy and sweet to me. We talked all the time about how perfect we were for each other.....we have everything in common, I mean literally everything. All the same likes and dislikes, same values, same outlook on what we want for the future. I love his family, they love me and the same goes for my family with him. Even weird things like we have the same favorite number, we're both left handed, we say the same thing at the same time. He is exactly what im looking for....and i am pretty picky. He has said many many times that I am exactly what hes looking for and its like I was made for him and am the perfect girl. We had this amazing fast paced relationship and even though I tried so hard to slow it down by telling him I needed some space and didnt want to see him everyday and I did not tell him I loved him as soon as he said it. Also we waited for a couple months before we slept together. But it was like he liked me so much and wanted to always be talking to me and always spending time with me. I grew used to it and excepted it as how he was....we both talked about how we just knew we were "the one" for each other because no one could be more perfect. He said if we ever broke up and he dated someone else he would constantly be comparing them to me and they would not be able to be as perfect as me.

 

Well a few months in he went away on a week long trip with some buddies....I was happy for him and told him so and told him to have a great time. I did not bug him at all while he was down there and let him initiate the contact since he was on vacation. When he came back it hit me that I did not really miss him while he was gone and I didnt really feel attracted to him anymore. Also, I wished that he had more motivation and realized that he is a bit lazy. One night when we were together I talked to him about this and he said this was coming out of left field and he missed me so much while he was gone and he thought he would come home and everything would be great. We talked through it and I gave it another try. Well my feelings came back and everything was great....we had a couple tiny little tiffs every now and then that never turned into a fight or anything like that. We just loved each other so much and he was always telling me so and I was always telling him what a great man he was and how much I appreciated him. He would often say that our relationship was just so easy and he has never been this happy before and that I was such a great girlfriend.

 

Well about a week ago I began to notice a gradual change in him....not as affectionate and the contact slacked off a bit. When we did talk though he was still constantly calling me baby and sexy and was saying I love you and that he missed me, etc. A few days ago we got into a fight because I got mad about something stupid...it did not turn into a full blown fight, just more like me being upset and saying that I felt he was being different and him consoling me and saying I was the most important person in his life and he sure as hell did not want us to break up or take a break. He said he loved me so much and this was coming out of nowhere and he couldnt understand why. I told him I was sorry and I was stupid to get mad about it. He said it was nice to be with someone mature enough to talk things through instead of nagging him or allowing it to blow up into a huge fight. He was texting me the rest of the night, I love you so much, dont ever doubt that and saying that I was the best thing in his life and absolute best thing to ever happen to him. He begged me to let him come over the next day saying he wanted to see me so bad. The next day we did get together and had a good time and everything seemed fine. Then he said something stupid that made him seem like a complete pig and I got angry about it. He tried to ignore the fact that I was angry and just change the subject. I ended up crying because I felt like things were not right, that our relationship was coming to an end. He held me and said he did not want to lose me and that we are perfect for each other and he would never do anything to mess this up. He said he worked so hard to be with me and he was not going to mess things up with a great girl. He said he could definitely see himself marrying me one day. So we made up and had a great night together with some amazing sex and he held me so right afterwards and all he could say was "wow" and "that was amazing and the best ever." The next morning he kissed me before leaving for work and told me he loved me. He texted me a little while later thanking me for such a great night and that it was definitely amazing and he loved me so much. We have not fought or spoken about how our relationship is going since Tuesday when we had that last fight. This is Friday and for the past 2 days I have still felt like something is off. Like it is weird talking to him like he is walking on eggshells or I am. Like he doesnt text me as much and when he does its almost like hes forcing himself to tell me he loves me because he knows its what I want to hear. We are going to a wedding together tonight and I was supposed to come up early and lay out in his pool while hes at work. But he texted me this morning saying "good morning sexy, dont know if you want to come get in the pool, its looking ugly out." I told him that I was just thinking I probably wasnt going to because it was supposed to rain. In the past he would of said something like "well come up anyways and just hang out, you know you're welcome anytime." But he didnt. Then I asked him if he was going to have a full day of work because I was going to come up early if he got off work early. He usually can tell me when he thinks he will be able to get off work but alls he said is I dont know babe, ill let you know. So I just said "ok have a good day!" and he said nothing back. He did not say I love you either like he usually does.

 

I cant understand what is happening here....maybe its just my imagination. He just said a couple days ago that he still loves me as much as he ever did and told me im the best thing in his life and dont ever doubt how much he loves me. Now I feel like a breakup is coming on....like he is changing his mind about me. I dont understand how something so perfect and 2 people so perfect for each other can fall apart after only 6 months. Maybe it was because we moved so fast and had such an intense relationship that it burned out faster. He has told me so many times that he has never felt this way about anyone....but his last ex he was with for 2 years and she cheated on him for 4 months and she used him for money and ran up his credit cards and he said it was always all about her and she never did anything for him. He cleaned the house, cooked every meal, and even did her laundry. He said he never saw himself marrying her but even after they broke up because she cheated he tried to make it work again but just didnt look at her the same so it didnt work. None of his friends or family liked her either. How can he stay with someone like that for 2 years but his feelings for me might be changing after only 6 months?? I cant wait until I see him today in person and can see how he reacts towards me. If we're going to break up I just want to know so I can get on with my life....its the not knowing thats making it so hard.

 

Does this relationship seem like its doomed or is there a way it can be saved? This man is the perfect man for me....if I lose him its my fault because of my insecurities and I dont know if I can forgive myself for that. Sure there are other men out there and I could get another man but I dont want anyone else. He is perfect for me and there is no one out there who could compare to him. Seriously.....the odds of finding someone else who is so much like me and is exactly what im looking for, not to mention 100% trustworthy and treats me wonderfully are slim to none. I could really use some advice on how to save this or if it can be saved. I have been giving him his space, I went out with a friend last night, and I have not let on at all that I have been upset or worried.

[DN]

I think you need to relax and stop looking for trouble because looking for it will cause it. You should act as you have been, be loving and cheerful and don't look for hidden meaning or nuances in everything he says or does. I imagine at the moment he is feeling he can't say or do anything right and if he continues to feel that way it will corrode the relationship.

 

Try not to be so sensitive.

[Tryptophan]

You've been together for 6 months. That's when the "infatuation" phase ends so it's normal that the relationship will balance out during this period. Don't think that everything that happens is a sign of trouble just because of this. Just because you didn't miss him on the trip, it doesn't mean you don't like him. If you start acting "weird", he will sense it, and it turns into a lack of communication because he doesn't know what's going on.

 

Stop ruminating. Just give each other the space you both need without becoming too distant. It seems like you both have a good connection so don't ruin it!

[LTS48]

Seems like you both set some unrealistic expectations at the beginning of the relationship. Those expectations have not died, but the feelings behind them have. Not died in the sense that you don't love each other, but died in that you aren't in that lovey-dovey infatuation phase. You are entering the second phase of the relationship: learning about one another.

 

The upside to this? Nothing you have written strikes me as being a serious problem. DN is right in that you are being a bit too sensitive with him, back off and start looking at him for who and what he really is. Thus far you have found no major differences other than the fire of a new relationship going out. This is normal.

[Bunney]

wow I think you are overreacting big time. Just because at a few occasions he didn't say exaclty what you wanted him/expected him to say, doesn't mean that his feelings have changed and that he wants to break up.

 

There doesn't seem to be anything wrong right now, but if you keep being this way there definitely will be.

[confuzed25]

so he just called me to tell me he was off work and to see what I was doing...I was so happy when I saw his name come up on my phone. We talked for about a half hour and I was cheerful and we laughed about some things and then he said he was going to go and asked me if I was coming up early since he was off work early. I said I would start getting ready and be up whenever I was done but I wasnt sure how early that would be. He said ok see you in a little bit, love you....and I said I love you too, bye and he said bye hun.

 

I am feeling a little better and hope we have a great time tonight. I realize completely that I was being ridiculous and insecure and I didnt even realize I was doing it until this week. I will NOT let it happen again, even if he does something that irritates me or makes me feel insecure I am going to bite my tongue and let it slide. I am in control over my actions and will be an awesome girlfriend from here on out

[Bunney]

^ way to go girl