Things never seem to change

[G train]

I'm really confused at the moment and I have all these mixed feelings.

 

I have just turned 38 and I have had a couple of serious relationships end over the past 5 or 6 years. Both of which ended by being cheated on. After the first breakup I stayed single for well over a year before dating again because I was in a fairly bad way. Long story short.. I met someone after a little while and we commenced a relationship, but after 11months I discovered she had been cheating for several weeks.

 

Once this ended (late 2009) I made the conscious decision to be single again. It has actually taken me to about a month ago to start dating again as I am really unsure if I could handle disappointment again.

 

I met someone on my very first date who I considered to be an amazing woman. We talked about everything and had so much in common, similar sense of humour, hobbies and the list goes on. The first date went on all night because neither of us wanted it to end.

After I said goodnight and headed home, I started thinking I had made the right decision to get back into the game. During the week we spoke on the phone every night and sent messages and we never ran out of things to say.

We had our next date a couple of days later and again it was amazing how well we got along and the things we spoke about and just how easily we connected.

As I was heading home we planned our next date and she informed me that she was heading to Sydney in a couple of days to catch up with friends and family for a week but when she gets back we will catch up straight away.

 

The night before she left we spoke for hours on the phone before saying our goodbyes and promising to meet up upon her return. I mentioned to her that I would leave any communicaton up to he while she was away as I didn't want to disturb her time with her family and friends.

I did not have any communication from her at all during the week and I just put it down to her being busy etc.... When she returned I sent her a couple of messages but did not get any response. I left it at that and tried again the next night when she replied.

We started texting but she seemed very different and distant.... nothing like the person she was when she left. I asked if she wanted to meet up again and she said yes but it still felt like something was very wrong.

 

The next night I sent her a message and said I felt really at odds because she felt very different and it seems like things have changed very dramatically between us very quickly. The text message I got was as follows....

 

"I'm sorry but I suppose some stuff came to my attention in Sydney - things that I'd just kind of ignored. I've had to reevalute myself, I guess, without wanting to sound like a wanker. I think I kind of jumper the gun with you too, and I didn't want to get too dependant on anything. I really enjoy chatting to you, but I don't know if I can offer anything more than friendship at this point. I'm so sorry to stuff you around"

 

I think it's worth mentioning that I suggested on both dates that we slow things down and just consider ourselves friends and see what happens (probably trying to protect myself) but she was admant that she didn't want that.

 

Like I said...... I'm very confused. I'm really not sure I can even go on trying to meet someone as it always just ends with disappointment