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Cannot avoid my ex - Maybe hits on my friends

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Five months ago I dated this girl that I really really liked for a long time. In the end, things did not work out between us. But then the worst thing happened, since I could not forget her or completely avoid her. We have many common aquaintances, that may be friends of mine or her friends. In the beginning i felt normal around her and thought that I could cope with it. However, after a month or more, for various reasons (which could be valid or not), I started developing the crazy idea that she may be after my best friend or even worse that even he could be into her (you know how we guys are when a beautiful woman displays some more interest... ). Well, this has been going for nearly some time now and I cannot get this idea out of my mind, since my friend does not say much about his private affairs. Yesterday, he told me that today he would go swimming with some girl and I cant help but think that she may be that girl.


Also, even facebook has become a nightmare, I cant help but encounter posts of her since we have many common friends. Everytime I see something I feel sick and I cant help but think that (for various reasons again!) that she may be into other guys that I know. For instance, she added out of the blue someone with whom she hadn't talked for years, who is also a friend of mine. And it all seems to me that she is out "hunting" and lately they have started exchanging "likes". Even worse he already has a girlfriend and I know that he is problably better than me.


I know i sound jealous, crazy, obsessed, slefish or whatever and that may be true. But i dont want to be that way. I just wish she never existed or that we could somehow have totally separate friends etc. I mean i dont care if she finds someone else as long as he is not one of my friends, even better I wish he is someone I dont know. I am scared of the fact that she may be into one of them, especially my best friend and that they may end up together. I really dont know what I would do if that were true and I wish I could find a way to cope with it and be totally unaffected by it and whatever she does. Even more I'm scared that she may had gotten together with me in the beginning in order to get closer to my friend(s).


I am afraid that even if I meet someone really special, that even then I will not be able to cope with whatever has to do with this girl. I've even thought about leaving this country! It's the first time this happens to me, even though I had other relationships before. I mean i dont care if one of my own ex girlfriends got together with any of my friends. But with this last one, everything is soooo different. I do not know what to do. I want to erase her completely from my memory (that's not possible I know)!


The end..

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