Cloud9riddim Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 So you meet someone and there's an instant attraction, you kiss. You meet up again, chemistry still there and you kiss again. You then push them away by asking an intrusive question all because of an emotional mind f*** due to a recent break up. However, you still want to get to know the person after this person ignores both of the text messages you sent DUE to the intrusiveness... 1) asking about the person they are not exclusively seeing, although it's definitely non of your business 2) apologizing for doing so and explaining that you are not entirely over your ex and sort of used the situation as a rebound but that you'd still want to be cool. Is it safe to asssume that the damage is done and this person never wants to engage in conversation? Considering this person you will INEVITABLELY see again. Is it out of the question to let time pass and call the person. Or explain your position when you end up seeing them again? Thoughts? Link to comment
listed Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 I'd say wait a while and try again or mb in the mean time they'll contact you Link to comment
listed Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 by a while I mean like a couple weeks Link to comment
Stay_home Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 I agree with listed. Wait a while. Link to comment
Point5 Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 I dont know what you said to him but the damage has been done, I would move on. If he gets over it than he will conact you. If you keep texting/calling him but that just be creeping him out even more Link to comment
magnoliatree Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 Assuming you asked a normal question that was a bit intrusive bc you don't know them well, I'd say they weren't that interested in the first place, bc if you are super interested, you'd probably overlook something like that. If it was an insane question, then they cut you off because you totally turned them off. Either way, they've ignored 2 texts. Ball is in their court and it's done unless they decide to contact you. Link to comment
Cloud9riddim Posted July 28, 2011 Author Share Posted July 28, 2011 Hmm conflicting posts.. Magnolia - I think you bring up a valid point. It seems as though this girl was exploring her options - considering she was seeing someone but not exclusively..bottom line - It's safe to say I wasn't her only concern.BTW - to be clear - I asked her how serious her and her guy were.... kind of out of the blue via text and she didn't respond... probably thought I was too aggressive and wanted something more than a fun time. Being that she's good friends with my cousin, I wanted things to end amiably.. her not responding was the total brush off. I'm assuming I should turn the other cheek when I see her? I hate being awkward and I like burying the hatchet. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 I think you are getting conflicting posts because you are leaving information out which makes it hard to give a complete answer. So you pushed some guy away because you aren't over your last break up and you're wondering if you still have a chance. What exactly has he said to you? Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 to be clear - I asked her how serious her and her guy were.... kind of out of the blue via text and she didn't respond... probably thought I was too aggressive and wanted something more than a fun time. So, after you asked this she completely stopped talking to you? Link to comment
magnoliatree Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 BTW - to be clear - I asked her how serious her and her guy were.... kind of out of the blue via text and she didn't respond... probably thought I was too aggressive and wanted something more than a fun time. Yeah that was a mistake, but if she was really into you, the other guy would be gone and your question wouldn't matter. You were Plan B which makes it a lot easier to get ejected from consideration. I don't think you have to worry about burying a hatchet at all. She doesn't hate you or anything, just probably thinks you are kind of awkward. If you run into her be nice. No need to turn this into a big thing. Link to comment
Cloud9riddim Posted July 28, 2011 Author Share Posted July 28, 2011 Ms Darcy I'm a lesbian and this girl I met a few times before through my cousin.. My friend had a party 3 weeks ago and she literally cornered me into a bathroom and had her way with me.. She told me I was her first and she put her # in my phone... Long story short, we texted every so often and I had gone to her birthday party were we ended up kissing again... she even asked when we could do this again...so I figured there was a mutual interest. She mentioned in the beginning that she didn't want me to think I was being used and she enjoys kissing me. She stated if I had a problem being secretive about things because it's fun for her and I said no, I had no problem. I asked her if she had a boyfriend because bottom line - cheating is cheating - regardless if you are fooling around with the same sex. But, she said she was seeing someone but not exclusively. Fast Forward to after her birthday party, she seemed sort of distant but I being she was new to the gay world, I thought I had to be the one to be a bit more aggressive. So, without thinking, I asked her "How serious are you with your guy?" and she didn't respond... Which is what brought me here. Link to comment
Cloud9riddim Posted July 28, 2011 Author Share Posted July 28, 2011 Magnoliatree - Yes, it was a mistake....wayyy too forward....way too soon. I learned my lesson here. However, why should I be nice? I even apologized to her for being intrusive and she still didn't respond. And I guess the reason why my ex gets tied in is because I feel like I wanted this girl to be there the way my ex was for me... Sort of like wanting a replacement. Link to comment
magnoliatree Posted July 29, 2011 Share Posted July 29, 2011 With more info, she sounds only interested in being casual with you. Whoever she is 'seeing' has priority over you. I don't think this is worth pursuing at all, but it's likely she'll contact you randomly to hang out/kiss again. Link to comment
Cloud9riddim Posted July 29, 2011 Author Share Posted July 29, 2011 Magnoliatree - I like kissing her...there's definitely chemistry.. AND it's super clear she just wants it casual..and I thought I did too? But I guess getting hurt was something I was immediately thinking about which is why I asked her that question... Ok and If she does contact me...isn't that kind of condescending? You ignored my texts and now you want to chill? Link to comment
magnoliatree Posted July 29, 2011 Share Posted July 29, 2011 Magnoliatree - Yes, it was a mistake....wayyy too forward....way too soon. I learned my lesson here. However, why should I be nice? I even apologized to her for being intrusive and she still didn't respond. And I guess the reason why my ex gets tied in is because I feel like I wanted this girl to be there the way my ex was for me... Sort of like wanting a replacement. Honey, why wouldn't you be nice/polite? She didn't do anything crazy or mean. Brush it off, be polite and move on. Anything more spells drama for no reason. Link to comment
Cloud9riddim Posted July 29, 2011 Author Share Posted July 29, 2011 Magnoliatree - I like kissing her...there's definitely chemistry.. AND it's super clear she just wants it casual..and I thought I did too? But I guess getting hurt was something I was immediately thinking about which is why I asked her that question... Ok and If she does contact me...isn't that kind of condescending? You ignored my texts and now you want to chill? Link to comment
magnoliatree Posted July 29, 2011 Share Posted July 29, 2011 Magnoliatree - I like kissing her...there's definitely chemistry.. AND it's super clear she just wants it casual..and I thought I did too? But I guess getting hurt was something I was immediately thinking about which is why I asked her that question... Ok and If she does contact me...isn't that kind of condescending? You ignored my texts and now you want to chill? Condescending? Nope. You just caught some feelings and now you want more, so you're mad about something that you would have probably brushed off before. No shame in that. If she made it clear that she wants casual, then that's how some people act when it's casual. Kiss her all you want if you can handle it, but don't expect gf behavior or more, you know? Link to comment
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