Omg

[Gracelove]

I woke up this morning to hear singing. Bad singing. It was me. My Dad found one of my old cassette tapes and was playing it on the stereo!

 

Needless to say, I wasn't happy. He wouldn't give me the tape. I bugged him about it and he became very upset. Then he said he would give it to me. And when I said "thank you" and reached for it, he didn't.

 

And he got all upset and said, "See, you just don't understand that some things are valuable to parents!" Then he points to his dead mother's bible he has encased on the wall. He says, "see, Momma kept this because it was valuable to her!". And he started talking about how the tape was valuable and how 50 years from now I'm going to want to listen to it.

 

Well that is not true. It's embarrassing. Which is why, when I made the tape over 2 years ago, I made it in my car, when I was alone. I had so much fun making it, but it was just for my own entertainment, nothing else.

 

This isn't new. My Dad has a history of sharing my embarrasing moments with family and his friends. When I was young I used to dance in front of the video camera. You know what I later found out? He made copies and sent them to nearly everyone.

 

My friend and I both attempted to sing Mariah Carey songs in front of the camera when we were 12, and let me tell you, it wasn't cute. It was horrible. He said he would tape over it, and he didn't. I found it years later, who knows who in the world he sent it to.

 

It isn't his property, and it makes me mad that he would try to keep it.

 

I was on my way to the gym, but decided not to go because I was upset. He came and gave me the tape just a few minutes ago, but I'm sure he's going to grieve as if one of the pets died.

It makes no sense to me. There are so many other things of sentimental value around if he wants something, why would he want the tape?

 

 

[Seraphim]

He should have given you the tape. I think though it can easily be understood that parents love to have mementos of when their children were young and feel the things they did were wonderful and adorable. I know kids see it as "embarrassing" but to us parents it is glorious. When your children get close to leaving this is a scary time. You have spent 20 or more years bringing someone up and teaching them how to fly. Sometimes it is scary to let go.

[Gracelove]

Hey there Victoria!!!

 

Thanks so much! I appreciate your insight. I'm definitely glad he gave me back the tape. Maybe he is feeling a little worried about letting go..I never thought about it that way.

[Seraphim]

Hey there Victoria!!!

 

Thanks so much! I appreciate your insight. I'm definitely glad he gave me back the tape. Maybe he is feeling a little worried about letting go..I never thought about it that way.

 

Hey Grace!

 

It could very well be that. It is a nervous and scary thing for a parent. You want your child to be ok always and you want to protect them even when they are grown, ya know? You also always see a part of them that is that little child. I know it is embarrassing, I guess I can see both sides of the coin now. The child and adult child view and the view of a parent. Maybe ask him if he is feeling insecure because you are grown up and on the ledge of the nest so to speak.

[Point5]

Instead of seeing the tape (and those videos) as embarrassing, look at it through your fathers eyes. Its his daughter being herself and sounding happy. I would absolutely not throw that away or tape over it.

As for the videos that he sent out when you were a kid - understandable.

There's a video of me when I was 2 years old on my Grandma's farm in Jordan, I was being chased by like 20 chickens after I tried to pet one. My dad has it on video so he made copies and sent it to everyone in our family. I never got mad though, the video is hilarous even if it is a little embarrassing.

You'll do the same to your kids

[Seraphim]

Instead of seeing the tape (and those videos) as embarrassing, look at it through your fathers eyes. Its his daughter being herself and sounding happy. I would absolutely not throw that away or tape over it.

As for the videos that he sent out when you were a kid - understandable.

There's a video of me when I was 2 years old on my Grandma's farm in Jordan, I was being chased by like 20 chickens after I tried to pet one. My dad has it on video so he made copies and sent it to everyone in our family. I never got mad though, the video is hilarous even if it is a little embarrassing.

You'll do the same to your kids

 

Yup, for sure

[thejigsup]

Okay, I am a parent and I have never shared one of my son's embarrassing moments with anyone! Why would I want to embarrass my own child? Keeping the tapes to listen to myself, yeah, I can see that. Sharing them with others, NO WAY!

[Fudgie]

I would find that embarrassing too. My mom has done that with baby video tapes. she always want to show them to everyone. Ugh.

 

I have some pretty embarrassing stuff on there too. Some of it is even NSFW.

 

I've accepted that I can't change her behaviour. So those tapes have gone "missing". And when I say "missing", I mean that they are hidden nicely in a box downstairs. I'm not telling her that they are there until I'm out of the house. Then she can watch them all day long if she wants but I won't be around to be embarrassed.