Catchy06 Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 For anyone who remembers my story and how pathetic I was when I first joined this site. You would be amazed at how strong I've become after 2 and a half months. I don't ever text her or call her. The only time I speak to her is to respond to calls/texts which are maybe once a week or once every other week to catch up. I've felt about 80% content with being single and living the dream. I haven't read into any of her other calls/texts... I've never seen us to be more than friends... I've felt strong and am making her decide, I know for a fact I can't manipulate her decision- not that I would want to. Since the break up I've never begged or told her we need to be together, I started it by telling her it hurt really bad that we had to end it, but I respected her decision and I didn't want to be a regret down the road. Now today after 2 weeks without speaking at about 9AM I get a text- "Hey"... now... she never starts a text with hey and her calls/texts have always had a purpose right from the start. Today bright and early it was just "Hey" and I responded about an hour later (I was in a meeting) with "Hey, what's up?" 13 hours later- no response the whole day... Usually I don't get stirred up about things. At least not in the last month or so... But WTH is that? I've been talking to someone else, and it seems just as I start getting comfortable with this new girl- bam, something that confuses me and makes me think again. I haven't slept with the new girl, nor will I go past kissing her for the time being. She's drop dead gorgeous but I don't want to rush. I know I'm overthinking this small text... but it honestly has drove me nuts the past few hours thinking "why would she even send that if she wasn't going to respond to mine?" Link to comment
Hollyj Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 This is the perfect example of why it is not good to have contact, until you are completely over the ex. Do yourself a favor: go NC and move on with your life. Perhaps in six months time you will have moved on to better place-not over analyzing why you did not hear a response-and be able to be friends. Link to comment
Oneironaut Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 I've been talking to someone else, and it seems just as I start getting comfortable with this new girl- bam, something that confuses me and makes me think again. Yes, that's often exactly when it happens, and she didn't write back because you gave her confirmation that you were still "there". Someone who is truly interested in even the possibility of reconciliation won't be vague, or play games. I know it sounds like a cliche', but it's true: When they want you back, they will say so. I know this from personal and recent experience. So, the next time she writes such a vague, meaningless text, I hope you'll consider not responding. As you can see, it really serves no useful purpose. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 This is the perfect example of why it is not good to have contact, until you are completely over the ex. Do yourself a favor: go NC and move on with your life. Perhaps in six months time you will have moved on to better place-not over analyzing why you did not hear a response-and be able to be friends. Indeed indeed. Link to comment
Catchy06 Posted July 28, 2011 Author Share Posted July 28, 2011 Great responses. I was doing great and not initiating contact... she's always the first to contact and I'm always the first to close the conversation. Not to play games... but having that little bit of power always made me move on easier. I understand that NC makes things easier and I will move on... I have no doubt that I'll be able to see someone else and be happier than I was with her... I just wish I knew what was in her head sometimes so say "hey" and then nothing after that. The most useless text I've ever received. Link to comment
jazzykat Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 She meant to text someone else? Link to comment
hello678 Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 She meant to text someone else? na Its breadcrumbs. She's enjoying the fact he's on the string and torturing him. I'd just leave it and think no more of it. Link to comment
lorita Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 na Its breadcrumbs. She's enjoying the fact he's on the string and torturing him. I'd just leave it and think no more of it. Totally agree!! There are a lot of people who enjoy having you on the hook... So NC!!! I did that with some guy I dated, and the moment I stopped answering him, he started to text me more and more, and emailing me... Some people are just annoying... He only did that 'cause he wanted the attention, not beacuse he wanted me back... So be strong, and even if she contacts you more often, it's just to have you hanging... so NC hard! Link to comment
Hollyj Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 Great responses. I was doing great and not initiating contact... she's always the first to contact and I'm always the first to close the conversation. Not to play games... but having that little bit of power always made me move on easier. I understand that NC makes things easier and I will move on... I have no doubt that I'll be able to see someone else and be happier than I was with her... I just wish I knew what was in her head sometimes so say "hey" and then nothing after that. The most useless text I've ever received. Yes. But, you're totally showing her you are available to her. She's also playing games with you. Would you be putting so much energy into a friend over a text. You are far from over this woman and prolonging the confusion and hurt. I think you need to ask what you are getting from the occasional text, as you know she is getting a big ole ego stroke. Do yourself a favor and go NC, and this means not responding to her nothing texts. Link to comment
Catchy06 Posted July 28, 2011 Author Share Posted July 28, 2011 Yeah I guess you're right... I just don't understand how a "Hey, what's up" is an ego stroke after 2 weeks of not talking to her lol. Especially when she never responded and then I never reacted after that. I wanted to text her and say "Wow, invigorating text conversation we had today, appreciate it"... but I decided to just let it go and re-initiate no contact. This time without responding at all because this text just kind of shows how immature she is. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 Yeah I guess you're right... I just don't understand how a "Hey, what's up" is an ego stroke after 2 weeks of not talking to her lol. Especially when she never responded and then I never reacted after that. I wanted to text her and say "Wow, invigorating text conversation we had today, appreciate it"... but I decided to just let it go and re-initiate no contact. This time without responding at all because this text just kind of shows how immature she is. Because she wants to see if you will jump when she contacts. Game playing! Any response is a boost to the ego. You really have to look at the how your are over analyzing a simple text. This shows you are not in the right place. Hon, do yourself a big favor. Do not respond to any more communication. It's healing! Link to comment
RitaTrue Posted July 30, 2011 Share Posted July 30, 2011 Yes, that's often exactly when it happens, and she didn't write back because you gave her confirmation that you were still "there". Someone who is truly interested in even the possibility of reconciliation won't be vague, or play games. I know it sounds like a cliche', but it's true: When they want you back, they will say so. I know this from personal and recent experience. So, the next time she writes such a vague, meaningless text, I hope you'll consider not responding. As you can see, it really serves no useful purpose. Quoted For Truth. Link to comment
learning2relax Posted July 30, 2011 Share Posted July 30, 2011 She is tugging on the leash to see if you are still on the end of it. Your answer gave her the feedback she was seeking so she is good to go about her business. Link to comment
1guygirl Posted July 30, 2011 Share Posted July 30, 2011 but I decided to just let it go and re-initiate no contact. This time without responding at all because this text just kind of shows how immature she is. exactly....its immature and games, and glad to see youre not gunna throw the ball back when another stoopid text comes a-bouncing your way... ego needs attention as food....i happen to think ego's need to go on a serious diet your post reminds me of a text my ex sent me out the blue...it was a simple " ...pathetic, but when i called ex out on it asking what was that for, he replies with a "dunno, lol" oh isnt he jus the comedian....im in stitches here *end sarcasm* Link to comment
Catchy06 Posted July 31, 2011 Author Share Posted July 31, 2011 Yeah everyone's right. I haven't received a text from her since that day. Doesn't make any sense to me. It kind of set me back because I got angry and confused as to what that meant and I haven't over-thought stuff like that in a while. Butttt oh well, I refuse to allow myself to respond to her again. Link to comment
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