Roommate's guest staying wayyyy too long.

[Nymeria]

This will be the 3rd week my roommate's guest will be staying in our apartment. The lease clearly says our guests can only stay two days but the problem is that this guest is her MOTHER! I've had previous problems with this roommate so to avoid any more tension I've been nice but is ti time that I ask my roommate when her mom is gong to leave? And more importantly how? I can see this blowing up into a huge deal but I would much rather have her stop living with us. She isn't loud but it is weird having someone else living with you for almost a month....

 

Btw, she is visiting from Cali (and I live in Fl)

[chitown9]

I totally understand. You just need to tell her that her mom needs to leave and immediately. Tell her that you don't want to get thrown out of your home because she is violating the rules. Is this roomate on the lease?

[Stay_home]

I totally understand. You just need to tell her that her mom needs to leave and immediately. Tell her that you don't want to get thrown out of your home because she is violating the rules. Is this roomate on the lease?

 

Everything but the word "immediately." I agree with the above post. It is time that you do have that talk about the lease with the roommate. Unfortunately, shacking Moms into the apartment against rules can cost you your residence there. I'm sure the roommate is willing to gamble that because it's Mom. But you also matter too...

[Hurting85]

Just ask when she's leaving, and do it away from her mom. Then gently remind her what the lease says and you're concerned with getting kicked out for violating the lease. And if you want, you could mention that you are concerned about an increase in your utility bills and money being tight. Be nice, but don't be a door mat, and don't be afraid of offending her, just don't do it on purpose.

[RedDress]

Actually, I would start with the friendly "I'm just asking" approach. And not even behind Mom's back!

 

"Hey, so Betty... Are you enjoying your time in FL? Do you find it much different from Cali? Oh, I've never been there... blah, blah insert inane chatter here, blah, blah... So how long are you planning on staying? Oh yeah? Oh, that's nice. Any plans afterwards?"

 

See? You can find out the info first hand without freaking out. THEN... see how reasonable it is. Is it only a few more days? Wait it out until Mom leaves and confront your roomie when she's gone. Tell her that it's not appropriate to just have someone stay for a month without saying anything... about the clause on the lease, etc. If it's a long time? Confront immediately.

 

I think this is the best approach, personally. If you freak out while the mom is there (and is leaving in a day or two) - you'll just look like the bad guy.

[abitbroken]

I agree with RedDress. I also would talk to your roommate. If the mom is leaving that week, then let things lay and after she leaves, bring up to the roommate that you understand she wants relatives to stay, and that you like her mom too, but unfortunately, your lease says you can only have overnight guests for a few days. You don't allow out of town guests to stay here because of it. If you are the person on the lease, and your roommate is not, you can even tell your roommate that the landlord said something if you want, but I wouldn' tell tales.

 

If you get along really good with her mom, I might even ask the mom after she says when she is staying to address it with her. "Okay, that's good to know. I have to talk to the landlord and make sure he/she is still okay with things. In our lease, we are only supposed to have guests for two nights, so I just wanted to be able to tell him that you hadn't moved in if he asks." This way your roommate doesn't make it like you hate her afte she leaves.