Why am I so angry at her?

[KickingMyself]

Last week I wrote a post on here that came to be a closed thread

 

 

 

I'm still fighting my emotions. Yet I'm not sure why I'm still angry at her. I deleted her off on every social networking possible.

 

Why do I feel like this? I feel so hurt when she said she hated me and I can't look past that.

[Point5]

Wow, what an * * * * * * * . How about you leave her alone, and then get yourself some counseling to put your outlandish attitude into check.

[KickingMyself]

Wow, what an * * * * * * * . How about you leave her alone, and then get yourself some counseling to put your outlandish attitude into check.

 

Dude, i love her so much. I don't know what provoked me to say that to her. I guess because she said she moving on romantically and will always continue to love me and be apart of my life.

 

I said some remarkably outlandish things to her that I can't seem to shake off.

 

I told her to take me off the will so I won't ever know she died.

 

I have such a bad anger problem.

[KickingMyself]

Please help me anyone .... I don't understand my anger and what provoked me to say such spiteful things to her.

[puppetted]

Please help me anyone .... I don't understand my anger and what provoked me to say such spiteful things to her.

 

I read your post here and the other thread you were referring to, which became closed. I'm not sure why it became closed other than there might have been some people lashing out at you over your post. It also could've sounded like a trolling post (enotalone kind of is a target for that). If you're a troll, this will end up closed too, I'm sure, but if you're not, I don't see what further suggestions are really going to do for you. I'm going to summarize everything here, and refrain from criticizing you. I don't have the energy and I don't think it's helpful to anyone. You know what you did wrong by now.

 

You're asking for help here...and you're asking why you said such awful things. Well, it's good that you know what you said was awful. So...basically, the whole letter idea from the other thread--that was a good idea. Do that. I completely agree with it. If you don't think that's a good idea, at least reply here and tell us all why you don't want to write the letter. We can even help suggest how to write it here or help you by pointing you in the right direction.

 

I'm going to say something kind of risky, so here it goes... Apologize to her. If you're ready to apologize or you're not ready to apologize...do it anyway. Make it extremely sincere. It's really the least you can do. Again, if you don't like the letter idea, reply here and say why. The only other thing I can think of is to call her on the phone and talk to her, but that's kind of risky because you might say something you regret again and end up making things worse.

 

About your anger...well, ask yourself why you're angry. Start by thinking about your anger and then finding what makes you more and more mad. Your emotions should gravitate to that...at least mine always have, when I am angry. How about starting an angry letter, which you won't ever send? You might find out that you're angry at the cancer, or at life--but taking it out on her because you feel close to her. That doesn't excuse the anger, but it does help you understand it so that you can work on it.

 

The therapy suggestion was a really good one. I'd say you definitely need to at least talk to a therapist. Doesn't have to be pricey, doesn't have to be anything big. There are even ones you can call on the phone (internet sites offer the services with phone numbers you can call, so you don't even have to leave your house). It might be a reaction to the shock of her illness, it might not. Either way, you need to do something.

 

I don't know if you have anger problems in general, but you probably need to do something about this now before it affects other areas of your life and other relationships (not just romantic). Anger is kind of one of those things that tends to escalate if gone unchecked.

 

If you really want to work on this, do it. If you really want to fix things with her, you'll work on this immediately.

 

You've been helped now (and most of this is just me listing what others have suggested in my own words). There's really not much else that can be said about it.

[chitown9]

Please help me anyone .... I don't understand my anger and what provoked me to say such spiteful things to her.

 

I think that it is this: She is dying and you are angry that she is dying. You are beside yourself because the woman that you love is dying. And you took your anger out on her. It was misdirected anger, but that is what you did. Get help for a therapist as soon as possible. A therapist can help you work through this and how you can best deal with the situation, and hopefully find a way for you to mend your relationship with her while there is still time.....You really need to do this. I am sorry that your are in so much pain...chi