Is it about the age gap or not wanting to be tied down by one ?!

[tiffanietran]

He's originally from Korea, been living in Oz for a while, speaks good English. He just turned 33. His height is 6' 22''. He's mature, serious but funny. His look is average. I'm working at the resto as a waitress and a bartender and he's my manager. I'm from Vietnam, been living here for 3.5 years. I'm turning 21. My height is like 5' 1''. Here is my question. Do you think he's interested in me ?!!

 

He talks to me a lot more than other girls at work. He always teases me, makes me laugh, tells me what he thinks about ppl, asks about my life, my study, and tells me his stories ... He aslways laughs at the way i do things or i think about things coz he says I'm funny to be around. He cares for me when i got cut, when i got hurt. Even when i broke/dropped the glasses, he didnt complain at all. He helped me to clean the mess up and asked me if i got hurt or even made fun of it. It seems like he worries too much about me more than other people at work. He also helps me a lot. He says I'm negative coz I always do things and think differently from the way he does and thinks.

 

He had the feeling that I like him even though I didnt tell him. He asked me to cover someone's shift and I asked him if he worked on that day too, if he was going to work on that day, I would take that shift. I asked him twice trying to give him signal that I like him. But he never asked me, seemed like he was trying to ignore. Then once I texted him asking the reason why he never asked coz I sounded weird when I asked him that. He was like "Coz you like me!!!". I continued asking him how did he know. He said it was bcoz he can read ppl's minds. I felt awkward and stopped texting him.

 

Btw, all of my friends said to me that, they can see that he likes me, he treats me different from others. I'm happy when i heard that but still don't think that he likes me though.

 

After a week, he texted me first, in the middle of the night, when he got work in the next morning. His msg was like "You remind me of my sis. She's very shy but funny, just like you !!". I didnt say anything, I texted this back " ". Then he asked me "Why don't you talk to me like before, sister ?!!". I said bcoz everytime I texted him, he always rushed for a goodbye and gnite, and never really answered my questions. He made an excuse that bcoz he was tired from work and he thought that i needed to sleep as well. Then I asked him if he was going to the U.S for good coz I heard that from others. He was like " Don't worry. I'm not going anywhere. Will die here. Now, go to sleep, little lady !!".

 

I bought him a jacket on his bday, he seemed to love it and said that we'll have dinner sometimes with my cousin as well. And he said "Gnite. I'm very happy to see you tmr !!!" ...

 

One day, he bought me 2 cute pens with a sleepy stuffed owl on one of them and told me to keep it for studying. I texted him saying Thanks and he was like "If you need more, just tell me. I will look for the green ones." (Coz he knows i like green colour !!".

After all, I tried to avoid him and talk to him less then before. Actually, I dont talk to him first unless he asks me things or its about work. Coz I still think he just thinks of me as a sister but I was so afraid to ask.

 

Once, I took days off to go on a trip with my uni friends. I was away for like 4 days. After the party, I got wasted but still could remember things I did. I texted him when I was drunk asking him things. This is my convo with him that night:

 

Me: Do you hate me, coz i'm so annoying!!

Him: No, I dont hate you. Will see you soon.

Me: Are you going to sleep now ? Do you miss me?

Him: Of course I miss you.

Me: I really really miss you !!

Him: Thursday is coming soon. 4 days to go (4 days till the day we meet again at work!!). Tik tok tik tok. Time is ticking. Dnt worry I wont go anywhere till you come !! Okay ?!

Me: Do you like me ? Not like bro and sis. Answer it prolly !!

Him : I think of you as sister... You need to be with some one in ur age... I'm too old for you. But you're very special to me.

Me: I dont care. I dont wanna be ur sis. But its okay, at least I know ur answer.

Him: I know ... There's nothing I can say but you're special... Gnite !! Hope to see you soon and take care of yourself. Worry about you !!

 

Then he was the one who stopped talking to me after that. He stopped making fun of me, stopped teasing me, stopped calling my nickname that he made it up. He stopped talking to me like before. But I still keep on texting him. Well, I only text him at night, around 10-11pm, saying only "Gnitee" with a smiley face. He texted me back saying gnite as well, most of the times.

He used to call me "Tiffany funny funny" at work but he no longer calls me like that at work. BUT he calls me like that when he texts me like "good night, funny!!/Cya tmr funny!!".

 

We speak shortly at work lately.

 

Btw, he's not been in relationship for like 3 years, He said he doesnt go for a 2-3 month relationship. He enjoys being single, doesnt wanna be tied down by anyone. He's still got a lot of things to do with his own time. People expect that he should get married by now but he doesnt think so, he says he will ... maybe few years later. He also said that he will get married but might not have kids BUT he seems to love kids, I CAN TELL THAT !!

 

Anyways, his way of thinking is complicated. It seems like he doesnt wanna have a gf right now. Does that mean he's not interested in me ?! He just thinks of me as a sister ?!

But if he does think of me as a sis, why did he send me those sweet msgs ?! That's not what a bro would send to his sis. Btw, he doesnt flirt with girls, he's mature.

 

I still don't know what I'm gonna do if he tells me that he likes me but ... I just wanna know what he's thinking. I wouldnt wanna have it any other way. I don't really want us to be in a relationship or something. I mean I can wait for him till he's ready for a relationship but ... just don't push me away.

Sorry , this is a long read. Thanks to anyone that gives me an advice/opinion ... !!

[piruru]

I don't think he's that into you tbh. Men are mostly straightforward -- if they like you, you will know about it. Not much room for doubt unless he just wants to fool around. He told you he sees you like a sis, and I think you should take him at his word. He probably started pulling back because he saw that you weren't getting the point when he said the sister thing and tried to let you down easy so now he's making it more obvious.

 

Age probably isn't as big a factor as the fact that he probably just wants someone more matured/experienced. The "don't want to be tied down" thing is just an excuse.

 

Go for someone else, Hun. The moment you stop crushing on him he might just change his mind.

[tiffanietran]

I just can't help myself =( And yeah he's being serious now. He stopped talking to me !! Well, I think I'll just give up on him !! Anywayz, thank you for the advice !!