Me and my best friend

[DietCoke]

I've known my friend since the start of school . We've been in the same form , class and club together so i guess we're pretty close , we've always done stuff together like go out and do shisha or go clubbing and pick up girls and he was always the perfect wing man , never screwed up and we never gotten into any fights , we like the same things , play the same games ( this is a major guy thing ) and like the same sports . But when it comes to girls we have a different approach . I guess i have commitment issues , i don't like being in a relationship i 've never been in a proper one and i know its because i am young and when your young everyone don't take these things seriously , well my friends don't so we mess about . So i guess i am like a male slag whilst he's an angel ? . He believes in No Sex before marriage and all that . He's never really had a proper girlfriend up until recently , he started dating this little anime girl who constantly judges others and blinded by her own hubris . Quite a few of my friends despise her but i didn't mind her , up until recently . She began to stick her nose around into my personal life . She started messing with girls that i liked and tried to have a friendship with ( not a relationships ) and she started spreading rumors around about me . I ignored it because she's my best friends girlfriend and if he likes her then i should have no problem with her . But she raced pass the line . I got into a relationship with a girl which i had a crush on since i was 5 . I was taking things slow and i told her about my past with other girls and she didn't mind it . But what my friends Girlfriend done was said that this was an act i do on all the girls and said i 've got STD's and some * * * * like that and scared the girl off , now she won't even talk to me . So you know i though i done the decent thing i spoke to her and she acted like it wasn't her and like she knew nothing about it . And i knew she was lying because the girl told me that she told her all that . So i went to speak with my best mate who told me to shrug it off . Now were quite distant . Couple of weeks back it was my birthday and i am not really big on birthdays but i did the decent thing and threw a house party , I invited him but i didn't tell him the occasion . I guess he would know since we've known each other for over 10 years . He said he would come but on the day he didn't show . I called him up the next day asking why he didn't show and he said " Ah dude "Jess " ( just a name i am using for this little board ) is going away on holiday for a week soon and i wanna spend as much time as i can with her " . Seriously * * * . He promised me he would come because we've been distant for a while but he calls me and cancels on my birthday because his girlfriend is leaving for one week . . I mean am i over reacting or something ? I 've kept my cool with them and i 've encouraged them going out and everything but its like . He drew the last straw . I haven't spoken to him for nearly a month now and i got a phone call from him 20 minutes ago and he was all pissed off at me because " i am dodging and avoiding him " . I said i am not dodging you its just that when we make plans and that he never shows and i just look like an idiot and waste my time . He gave me this big speech and tried to make me feel guilty about how i don't understand how its like being in a relationship and i just got pissed off and hanged up .

Am i over reacting because recently i am feeling like * * * * it . Friendship timer is up .

[RedDress]

I do think you are overreacting - but only a little bit.

 

You can't get mad at your friend for blowing off your birthday when you didn't make it clear it was a birthday party (the fact that he's known you a long time and "should have known" is irrelevant - people forget birthdays all the time) and you didn't let him know that it was important to you BEFORE the party. That one's on you.

 

Also, it's completely normal at the beginning of a relationship to kind of be a little distant with your friends.

 

I think the real problem here is that you don't like this girl in particular and probably also any girl that really has his attention if he's your wing man. You are right to be mad at this girl. She did a terrible thing and sounds like a horrible person.

 

BUT... if there's one thing I've learned, is never get between your friend and their heart. If you make a stink, you will lose. It's not fair... it totally sucks... but it is the way that it is.

 

I think you should make it clear to him (once) that you don't like his girl (and why) - then you should drop it. If he's a good friend, good friends are hard to come by. I think you should just let him to his thing and when he tires of her, he will be back. In the meantime, simply don't count on him coming to things UNLESS you make it clear that it's important.

 

Just my take...

[Cmaj7th]

I'm in a very similar situation as you. My best friend of nine years has cut me because his girlfriend doesnt like me. My take on it is you should only worry about people who put forth the same effort as you do to them. So if he's still making an effort to be your friend despite his girlfriend's ugliness then you need to just deal. But if he isn't then don't waste the energy stressing about him.

 

Unfortunately what the poster above me said is true, a lot of people choose their gf/bf over their friends. This is stupid because friends are forever and relationships seldom are. He will come running back as soon as they break up.