Why are women with successful careers so... self-prescribed foreveralones?

[UCLAMike]

I know about 50-60 women in my social circle who are in their mid 30s and up with solid careers - pharmacists, doctors, lawyers, who make 6 figure income, yet are single.

 

They're educated and have comfortable lives. The common theme seems to be that they are looking for equally successful and educated guys who can match their expectations and lifestyle. They see themselves in a higher bracket of social class and will not consider any guy who still doesn't have it together on paper.

 

 

But what successful guy in the mid 30s and up wants a 35 yr old woman? Unless the woman is extreme attractive for her age, the guys are looking for 25 year old girls.

 

I may be biased because I have an outsider's perspective, but these women seem to live in a bubble.

[Ms Darcy]

But what successful guy in the mid 30s and up wants a 35 yr old woman? Unless the woman is extreme attractive for her age, the guys are looking for 25 year old girls.

 

I may be biased because I have an outsider's perspective, but these women seem to live in a bubble.

 

You sound pretty biased.

[Ariel85]

Just because they don't want to date YOU doesn't make them dysfunctional.

 

Women with that much on the ball don't need a man, and therefore, don't have to settle. If they don't find a like match, then they'd rather be alone than with someone they perceive to be beneath them.

 

And I call total BS on 35 year old men not wanting 35 year old women. A guy with his life together and who is accomplished will seek out a similiarly aged mate. A successful 35 year old guy couldn't be bothered with a 25-year old girl, unless he's looking to get laid.

[TakingtheBlame]

Yeah I'm going to second Ariel on all her points here.

 

Also, there's a reason these women are educated and self-sufficient...it's because they value education and success. They may not have very much in common with a guy who hasn't "gotten there" yet. Much like a woman with an extensive formal education probably wouldn't expect an Olympic athlete to pursue her because their lifestyles would be so different (though it certainly isn't outside the realm of possibility.)

[Crazyaboutdogs]

The guys who go for much younger women are often the guys who are not mature enough and comfortable enough in their own skin so they need outside validation by having arm candy. Plenty of 35+ men are looking for someone closer to their age, not some young arm candy.

[UCLAMike]

You sound pretty biased.

 

Just because they don't want to date YOU doesn't make them dysfunctional.

 

Women with that much on the ball don't need a man, and therefore, don't have to settle. If they don't find a like match, then they'd rather be alone than with someone they perceive to be beneath them.

 

And I call total BS on 35 year old men not wanting 35 year old women. A guy with his life together and who is accomplished will seek out a similiarly aged mate. A successful 35 year old guy couldn't be bothered with a 25-year old girl, unless he's looking to get laid.

 

This isnt about me. and u guys are being ridiculous. stay on topic.

[thejigsup]

Well, I'm a successful, well-educated woman, I have never had any problem whatsoever getting men! I do want educated men, not because I think I am in a better social class or anything like that, it's just that I find it easier to talk to educated men. I finished grad school last year and am now doing post grad work and I like men who are on that level. It's the truth, though you may not want to admit it, but educated people tend to talk about different subjects than hs grads or those with just an AA. I'm not better than anyone, but I am different then men without a degree. I don't need a man to support me and that is what makes successful men like me. I am in no way, shape, or form, needy. I like men, but I don't need one to be happy and secure.

[Ms Darcy]

Well, let me clarify my point.

 

What basis makes you say a successful 35 year old man wants a woman in his 20s?

 

Do you assume it is a negative state for them to be single?

[Iakasot]

I know about 50-60 women in my social circle who are in their mid 30s and up with solid careers - pharmacists, doctors, lawyers, who make 6 figure income, yet are single.

 

They're educated and have comfortable lives. The common theme seems to be that they are looking for equally successful and educated guys who can match their expectations and lifestyle. They see themselves in a higher bracket of social class and will not consider any guy who still doesn't have it together on paper.

 

 

But what successful guy in the mid 30s and up wants a 35 yr old woman? Unless the woman is extreme attractive for her age, the guys are looking for 25 year old girls.

 

I may be biased because I have an outsider's perspective, but these women seem to live in a bubble.

 

Women generally date up, while men generally date down, and a lot of evolutionary biologist say it's down to our genetic programming. But the point you're trying to raise is why they're complaining about being alone if they're so picky, correct?

 

Also, guys want 25 year old girls, because they have a lot of reproductive years left, while having enough life experience to raise a kid (generally). The nature of this desire is subconscious.

[UCLAMike]

responses sharply differ depending on which forum this topic is posted. lol.

[UCLAMike]

Well, let me clarify my point.

 

What basis makes you say a successful 35 year old man wants a woman in his 20s?

 

Do you assume it is a negative state for them to be single?

 

when did I say this?

[bichin]

You know you could be right. Are you looking for help?

[UCLAMike]

biological fact: Women bearing child after 35 = significantly increased risk of autism and downsyndrome.

 

I think most guys know that women have a biological clock.

[Justnotsure]

Assuming that you are not a successful woman in her 30's; why are you so concerned about their "plight?"

 

As others have suggested, the single status of these women probably has something to do with the fact that they have different priorities and don't need a mate to define them.

 

It's the 90's.

[Iakasot]

biological fact: Women bearing child after 35 = significantly increased risk of autism and downsyndrome.

 

I think most guys know that women have a biological clock.

 

Mike, check my post on page 1, was I correct in my assertion of the point you're trying to bring up?

[Ms Darcy]

But what successful guy in the mid 30s and up wants a 35 yr old woman? Unless the woman is extreme attractive for her age, the guys are looking for 25 year old girls.

 

 

when did I say this?

 

You said it in your first post. See above. Forgot it already?

[UCLAMike]

Assuming that you are not a successful woman in her 30's; why are you so concerned about their "plight?"

 

As others have suggested, the single status of these women probably has something to do with the fact that they have different priorities and don't need a mate to define them.

 

It's the 90's.

 

Why are you offended?

 

??????????????????????????????????????????????????

[bichin]

So ur saying I said EVERY 35 YEAR OLD MAN WANTS A YOUNGER WOMAN?

 

This is your interpretation and your bickering?

 

Anyway im hungry. Can you make me a sandwich please and I want bacon in it.

 

Successful woman says, "Go find a 20 something to make it for you." lol

[Justnotsure]

So ur saying I said EVERY 35 YEAR OLD MAN WANTS A YOUNGER WOMAN?

 

This is your interpretation and your bickering?

 

Anyway im hungry. Can you make me a sandwich please and I want bacon in it.

 

Perhaps they rule you out to due to extremely high grammatical standards. I'd take a poll amongst these 50-60 women and do a little scientific research.

[UCLAMike]

Perhaps they rule you out to due to extremely high grammatical standards. I'd take a poll amongst these 50-60 women and do a little scientific research.

 

then their pettiness and immaturity are the reason.

[lizzie2011]

Its kinda funny, I was just thinking about this and wondering when did I become the stereotype. Truth be told I am not sure I even want a man after all the experiences I have had. There are actually male gold diggers out there. Especially in these times of "equality" there are many men here in my little square inch of the earth and all they want to do is be carried by a woman. I can't take them on, I'm already carrying too much. Even though I am the major income earner I am still expected to manage the household and take care of (future) children ... all the traditional female roles on top of carrying the traditional male role of bringing home the paycheck. Not sure there is anything in a relationship for me. There's no real balance. Its a lot of hard work and all the men want to bring to the table is sex ... i can get that anywhere.

 

 

i think I have to agree with Ariel. I don't have to settle. I don't have to keep a guy around even though it isn't working out because the rent is more than half my income. Sounds jaded but you would be surprised that the reason several people stick together is to make ends meet

[Seraphim]

I do not think it is true they want to be alone. My mother was a very successful independent woman and she was married.

[TakingtheBlame]

biological fact: Women bearing child after 35 = significantly increased risk of autism and downsyndrome.

 

I think most guys know that women have a biological clock.

 

Are you implying that all men require the woman they marry to bear them children? I dunno, I am often turned off when a man I'm dating suggests that his major criteria in choosing a long term mate is whether she'd be a good mother to his children. There's more to me than that (believe it or not!)

[Dice7]

omg. this is like looking at a car crash. you really don't want to but you can't stop. seriously UCLAMike??

[Iakasot]

then their pettiness and immaturity are the reason.

 

Isn't ignoring people's posts immature?