pillowtalk Posted July 25, 2011 Share Posted July 25, 2011 It's been almost a year since my break up. I was devastated, but as with all breakups, time helps. I've been NC, so has he. Healing has occurred and I know without a doubt that I will continue to heal and live a happy life. That being said, I don't know why after almost a year, I still cry over him. I can still feel the pain of the breakup. He is still with the same girl he most likely left me more (never admitted it to me, but I suspect). Recently, it's been bad. Maybe it's because it's coming up on a year and all those bad memories are stronger than usual. Will I ever let go of the hurt? I'm not angry at him. Is it just my ego? The fact that someone left me who said they wanted to be with me forever, only to go straight into another relationship that is still going on 10 months later? I know he loved me. But the way things ended were so hurtful. I'm just tired of feeling this way. When will I stop remembering? Link to comment
Carus Posted July 25, 2011 Share Posted July 25, 2011 The fact that someone left me who said they wanted to be with me forever, only to go straight into another relationship that is still going on 10 months later? I know he loved me. But the way things ended were so hurtful. I am in the same boat and I still have bad days after 2 years... It's really painful being instantly replaced like that and I guess takes some time for the poison to run out* Will I ever let go of the hurt? I'm just tired of feeling this way. When will I stop remembering? If you continue on and keep doing what you've been doing then yes you will.... I went through the frustration stage at around a year too, but even that has subsided now. Stay strong Pillow*....We'll keep walking together... Carus* 8-) Link to comment
wicked6018 Posted July 25, 2011 Share Posted July 25, 2011 i'm so sorry. it's only 2 weeks since my BU. i can't imagine still being in pain after a year, or two years. good luck. Link to comment
water Posted July 25, 2011 Share Posted July 25, 2011 The longest I suffered from a BU was about a year and a half. I had a good life during that time, made many new friends and explored new activities; but I always thought about her, dreamed about her, and wondered if she thought about me. Idk what happened but one day, I just snapped out of it and I never thought about her like that again. If I do, its a brief thought and I smile inside hoping she's having a good life. You will come to terms with it one day. Hopefully soon! Link to comment
pillowtalk Posted July 25, 2011 Author Share Posted July 25, 2011 Thanks for the words of encouragement. It feels nice to know people have been through what I'm going through and are healed and happy. My life is good. Lots of friends, adventures and success. So why do I let this person affect me so? Link to comment
AvonRepus Posted July 25, 2011 Share Posted July 25, 2011 There are things that we never want to let go of, people we never want to leave behind. Holding on to anything painful is like holding on to your breath. I wish you the best. Link to comment
brandnewday47 Posted July 26, 2011 Share Posted July 26, 2011 Hey Pillow, hope you are feeling better. I'd say it took me about 18-20 months to feel almost completely free of things. To me, healing is not something that happens all at once. In my experience it is more of a two steps forward, one step back kind of thing. The key is that you are making progress. Just because someone may be moved on and healed in two months doesn't mean you will or should be able to... we are all different. As far as forgetting.. I don't think I will ever forget; but for me personally that is a good thing as I have and am still learning, and opening my mind and perceptions. Hopefully I'll be able to put these lessons to use in the near future ; that remains to be seen. Your on the right path whether you recognize it or not........ Link to comment
luvsomeone333 Posted July 26, 2011 Share Posted July 26, 2011 I feel the same way except I'm half way through it. My ex left me to go back to his first ex gf ... It hurts ..a lot still but I live through it all. One thing I learnt from it all I don't take crap from people like the way he treated me. Second of all I realized that whilist he was being dishonest about his feelings towards me. I have to forgive him.... n you should too. It's the only way, u don't have to speak to him forgive him n forgive ur self. It wasn't it fault it was his for losing u. U are better of without him. Much better off! Go out m explore, do what u like best... N if u really love the Guy then isn't that saying letting go isn't saying good bye its saying I love you...so what I'm trying to say is that if u both love each other u ll come back, from it all...but for now letting him is your final way to say I love you... You want to be what's best for him don't u? And u deserve the best..try to move on as hard as it sounds cause.I'm right here with u.. Link to comment
okiedokiestomp Posted July 26, 2011 Share Posted July 26, 2011 The most basic reason you are still struggling is b/c at some level you are resistant to accepting it is over with your ex. Obviously he was very important to you and holding on to your pain even as uncomfortable as it is, it is your last tie to him. The source of all our anxieties is in our resistance to acceptance. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted July 26, 2011 Share Posted July 26, 2011 The most basic reason you are still struggling is b/c at some level you are resistant to accepting it is over with your ex. Obviously he was very important to you and holding on to your pain even as uncomfortable as it is, it is your last tie to him. The source of all our anxieties is in our resistance to acceptance. I completely agree. I found that to let go of my first love many years ago was to accept that he was gone - that he was not the one for me -, and to wish him happiness in his new relationship. I didn't hold me to promises of the future. It was how he felt at the time and feelings can change. Acceptance is a gift for yourself. It releases your unconscious from sadness, regret, frustration, jealousy, resistance. Link to comment
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