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Very confused with how he really feels....


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Well Ive known this guy for over a year, during the start of that year we met up and spent days together alot, got on really well,..anyway one night I went with him to his best friends house and he kissed me, then next day said to me "I will talk to you on msn when I get home" and hugged me...I never heard from him again for a whole year, but then out of the blue he messaged me and said it was due to his best mate having influence over him and just the general kissing freaked him out abit as he said no one had kissed him like that before.... he has now broken up with his best mate and we hang out now and again.

Then he sent me this long message after a few times of hanging out : "i need to talk to u bout "us" coz theres been a * * * * tonne of stuff thts just been dumped on me out of nowhere tht ive gotta deal wiv, ppl ive gotta help and situations i need to work out and a lot of stuff i need to plan out over the next few months n as hard as this is gonna be for both of us i can add u to that list of things right now coz if i do, im gonna end up gettin stressed at u and im gonna end up takin stuff out on u for no reason which is the last thing i wanna do im literally at breaking point atm, iv barely got the motivation to get up out of bed in the morning and do anythin wiv my life, i seriously feel like most of the ppl around me have stabbed me in the back and left me to rot in the gutter n pullin myself back together is killin me slowly right now n if i try n focus on makin u happy im gonna fail miserably and probly end up making u and me feel ten times worse than i do already n i cant have ur heartbeak on my head at a time like this coz tbh i dont feel much like living at all right now, the few ppl ive got left are tryin to help but its really * * * * in hard. if u really care about me please just gimme some time and space to sort things out n if afterwards i can treat u the way u deserve to be treated i will do my upmost to make u happy but right now i hate myself n if i dont like me i cant expect u too, i hate myself even more for doin this to u, especially now but im tryin to explain this to u so u will understand and not hate me n realise its not coz i wanna hurt u its coz i know if i do go out wiv u i will be a hundred time more painful than this and that will make u hate me for sure, im really sorry, i just hope that u can forgive me"


I replied and said yeah I understand I will give you the time and space. And we have hung out since then and he said to me that he couldnt promise that he would be with me after he gets out of this hole hes in, he said "I cant say some girl will walk past and I will think wow! ya know?"

But then he said he needs me to be his friend right now and get to know me and that he needs the reassurance from me, and the last thing he said was "If you want to get to know me, get to know my friends" and smiled.

So Im confused does he want a relationship with me? Or does he even know what he wants?

Either way Im going to be his friends because I said to him at the end of the day I just wanted him to be happy and he said "Thats what I respect the most"

What do you guys think?

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Thing is Im not trying to save him and I know he doesnt want to be in a relationship hes in no state to, what Im asking is that, if you think he actually wants to me be more than his friend when he gets out of how hes feeling? Judging by how hes acting and that? I mean he hasnt been out with anyone besides his close mates and hes been at his best mates for days and not going home and hes only been seeing me and his close circle of friends, and people that are friends with him keep reassuring me that he doesnt mess people around.

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