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Am I Smothering My GF?


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So tomorrow we are celebrating our one month anniversary of being official. I am going to take her out to her favorite restaurant which we have not been to yet and I am going to bring her favorite flowers. We dated 4 weeks prior to becoming official.


Other info:

So every weekend for the past month we have been hanging out together and slowly more time spent together on weekdays after work. Usually, we both do the initiating on what to do. We do not text each other a lot maybe once or twice a week. We chat on Google Chat while at work M-F. And two weeks ago she asked if I could start calling her more (since I didn't really because I was afraid of coming off as being clingy etc..), so I usually call her once or twice a week at night now asking how her day went and such. We tried having sex last week but it didn't work out. We were too awkward and I didn't have protection. Lately, she has said we act like a "married couple", i.e. going shopping, making each other dinner, etc...


Now This Past Weekend:

We did tons of stuff together nonstop from Friday to Sunday. We had sex and it was really good. She said after that it was "pretty good” "fun" and “really liked having me in her”. We went to the beach on Saturday and on Sunday we went on an all day hike. When we got back Sunday night she offered to make me dinner. After making me dinner she realized that she did not finish her apartment lease extension application which she was supposed to turn in on Saturday. She really started to freak out and panic that she would lose her apartment since the lease expires tomorrow.


She was saying things like "I would have finished it if I wasn't SO BUSY this weekend". I just shut up and started to read a book because I could tell she was talking about me! After about an hour of me reading and being quiet while she filled the application out, she calmed down. We talked about it and she was like sorry I snapped. I asked her things like if she likes acting like a married couple, she responded with "sometimes". She said "sometimes" and explained that on Saturday she really needed to turn in her lease, do her nails, and get lunch with a friend but could not because she was doing stuff with me. So I explained that she should have told me she had stuff to do because I thought she didn't, so I planned stuff.


Am I being clingy, needy, or smothering?? I really like this girl and do not want to chase her away.

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No you aren't. She has a tongue and a brain - if she wanted to do other stuff she should have said so. I would remind her of that (not in those words of course)


Ok thanks. The only reason I am asking is because previous relationships I have had I ruined because I was clingy and smothering. So I made a conscious effort over the past few months to snap out of that thinking. And since I really get along with her I wanted to make it last.


When I left her place last night she asked if I had a fun weekend and I said yes. I asked her the same question back in which she replied "yeah" in a very happy kind of tone.



What would be signs of me being too clingy, needy, or smothering?

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The only part I find mildly clingy/weird in all that you wrote was that when she said she had other things to do... why didn't you just leave? If you are in the early stages of dating, I can see how that's a bit strange. Kind of the old-married-couple idea.


Other than that, I agree with DN. She has a tongue and you aren't a mind reader. When you went to bring her to the beach, it was up to her to speak up and let you know that she was not available. It's up to you to accept that response if you didn't clear the plans with her before making them. She had no right to pin her lack of communication and planning on you.

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