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Help/Advice needed please!


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Any help and advice would be appreciated. Sorry in advance for the long post just not sure what to do next.


Ok, so I like this guy at work. I added him on facebook and we exchanged numbers. We texted a lot about random friendly things. I was a bit flirty in the beginning where he was a bit reserved. After a while he started to flirt a bit and put kisses o the end of his messages. We had arranged to go out with a group of friends clubbing. On the night in quesion he was halfway to where we were waiting for him when his mate forgot his ID so they went back to where they live and went local. I was a bit upset but didnt make a fuss.


He apologised via text the next day even though I had to text him first to initiate conversation. It seems we only talk if I contact him first. A girl at work says thats how he is hes useless like that you have to contact him first. We spoke once on the phone for over an hour which was lovely but nothing since. He doesn't want to talk on the phone. Once I asked if I could call he said hes watching a film plus his phone battery was dying or he'd say yes.


A few days went by with us texting. We cant talk much at work as our times are different. Last Thursday night we went for drinks with work. I got a bit drunk and we were standing outside chatting for over an hour. Some people at work had told him I liked him plus I was telling him how lovely he is etc. I think I was rambling on and asking him to strip but he was laughing and it was all friendly. When it was time to leave I asked him if he could walk me to the bus stop. My mate dragged me along with her before he could respond. He later walked past us with another college. When I got to the bus stop I texted him that I was by myself. He responded there wasnt much point in him coming back to the bus stop as he was nearly home ans I would have got on the bus by the time he got there but to text him when I got home. It was 1am. I fell asleep as soon as I got home so didnt text him.


Next day I texted him if he wanted to go for a drink later. He replied he had no money. I asked if he wanted to meet up to hang out instead he replied well see what happens. Acting really cold. Later that day I walked past him as he was leaving work he said hello but I was feeling a bit funny about how he was so just managed a weak smile. I texted him if he has a problem with me he said no hes just busy with family. I asked him if hes up to much and he said hes going out. I texted him half serious half joking ' have a nice time wherever you go. hope you find something fun to do with no money' he responded people will buy him drinks. I felt a bit put out as I thought he just made an excuse not to see me so I texted him basically saying he didnt have to make an excuse if he didnt want to see me he should have just said no. I didnt hear anything back till the next morning when I texted him.


Everything was fine. Its like the messages were forgotten. I asked him again if he wanted to meet up after he got back from holiday and he said yes! Asked what I had in mind I told him we could go for a drink or watch a film he said it sounds good.


Problem is now though is what do I do from here. Why was he funny after Thursday night? He is a very insecure person whos had a lot of knock backs in life been bullied/cheated on etc with alot of issues he keeps inside. I dont know if he likes me or if hes just being friendly. His actions say that hes not interested but it could be that hes just shy or wary because of his past. I dont want to just come out and ask him because I dont want to pressure him. Hes going on holiday tomorrow and he said well meet up after but I dont know if he will.


Ive been hurt in the past. I want to take it slow and build a friendship but I dont think he knows that. Should I give up. Ive tried the no contact and see if he contacts me first but he hasn't. I think about him all the time and it seems he doesnt think about me at all. He seems very distant the last couple of days.


What should I do?

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Seems like you're putting in WAY more effort. He doesn't sound interested. It's like he's either too cowardly to tell you that, or wants you there just incase. You're always initiating contact, asking him out, and he's nearly always putting it off. He doesn't even sound too friendly to me! What else can you do? I personally think you should forget about him. Maybe he is shy, maybe he is scared, but why should you be the one making all the effort? I like a shy guy, but not getting anywhere. I have stepped back, and pretty much lost hope. Just because they're shy, or been burned, doesn't mean they are interested. And even if they are, do you really want to make ALL the moves?

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