many red flags!

[conanne]

I have been dating my boyfriend for two years now. We were friends then one day he asked me out and i nervously said yes. It's been two years and I still contemplate his sexuality. There are many red flags, and deep down I feel like he could be gay but I really wouldn't know how to end it. His family has practically adopted me, and I am the center of my boyfriends life. I guess I just need some confirmation that these are serious red flags, or that I may be looking into things too much. For one, from the moment I was introduced to him I immediately thought he was gay. Just the vibe I got from him(super smiley, nervously shaking, talking with weird hand tics, and overall just thought he was). My friend reassured me he wasnt so i put it in the back of my mind. The major red flags is in the beginning of our relationship it took 8 months to have sex. He was a virgin when I met him, so he wanted to wait for a special time, but after a while i started thinking what 20 year old doesnt want to have sex? shouldnt that be all thats on his mind? He would always make excuses and avoid the subject. Another thing is that he doesnt like to make out (use tongue when we kiss). We have never made out. He says he just doesn't like using tongue. Shouldn't a guy want to passionately kiss his girlfriend? I forget what it feels like and I miss that. Isn't making out with someone you love one of the best things to do? Oh and in those eight months of no sex, he would constantly want to have anal or do anal like positions. Anal is his biggest fantasy, and i understand a lot of men like anal but to want to do it before even trying sex? And he never wants to and never has gone down on me (and i always give him head). He also doesnt have friends, the one friend he had when he was younger is flaming and when they reunited recently together it seemed like they were flirting more than ever. Anyway i really dont know what to do i really do love him and cant imagine my life without him. His family lvoes me, but at the end of the day i shouldnt have to contemplate my boyfriends sexuality constantly right? Thank you all for taking all this time to read this!! xox

[Fudgie]

I hate to say it but I think you may be onto something.

 

You have a "deep down" gut feeling from the beginning. You felt this when you first met him and all through the 2 years. That's a LONG time to be feeling this. I think what is going on make further confirm what you're feeling, but that's just me. I don't think you're just basing it on "stereotypes" but on actual odd things going on.

 

Have you talked to him about this?

[conanne]

I have and he denies it and gets angry and says it takes all kinds of people for the world to go round

[Mauxly]

It doesn't really matter if he's gay. You are sexually incompatible and that does not bode well for a long term relationship.

 

If you break up with him in a respectful way, you can probablely stay close to his family.

[conanne]

i am terrified to he is beyond "in love" with me, hes very obsessive and needy and he wont take it well at all(ive tried twice before)