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When is good time, while dating, to start hugging and kissing?


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I was wondering when there is a good time for a dating couple to start holding hands, and then start hugging and kissing. I have only had a steady girlfriend once, when I was 19. We started holding hands when we were watching a movie while sitting on the couch with friends. It was chilly at the time and we had a blanket over us. I was surprised when she unexpectedly started holding my hand(I knew others did not see this.). I assumed she felt comfortable enough to start doing this. I felt all kinds of thrilling sensations in my body. I felt my heart overflow with warm, love and butterflies, and I understood how love songs get true love and eros love mixed-up. I was probably sexually thrilled, but I did not truly love her, because the relationship didn't last. Anyway, I need to get back to the main point of my original post, which is, when is a good time, while dating, to start hugging and kissing? I know this wouldn't be on the first date, but maybe it would be wise to wait until after the third date? Would I need to get a signal from a woman, when she feels comfortable enough to start hugging and kissing? What would be the signal, holding hands? I don't want to start doing this when she doesn't feel comfortable yet, because she may think this is offensive and aggressive and she may slap me. I am attracted to the shy, conservative, prudish, type woman, so I need to be careful with this.

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Are you currently dating someone or just asking in general?


I think it really depends on how the potential relationship is progressing. In my experience, first date I have gotten a hug at the door, then second or third maybe a kiss goodbye, and then just go from there. But theres no rules about it. Things just need to progress at their natural pace or when they feel right.


Also, not to mention that every woman is different, some might not be comfortable with any of that until later on, and at the other end of the spectrum some women sleep with guys on their first date. It really all depends.

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If a woman is comfortable enough with you for close contact, her body chemistry will give it away. Some guys go too far, too fast, too soon and it messes things up.


My experiences have been, generally speaking along the following lines:


We meet for a first date and if we connect, we're holding hands before desert is served, and I'll usually go for a gentle kiss on the lips to say goodnight, sometimes I'll get her cheek, otherwise I'll get her lips, and sometimes she'll linger long enough so that I'll say a quick hello with my tongue which can lead to an extended kiss. Throughout the following 1 to 2 weeks there will usually be a gradual progression and my hands will find most of the upper half of her body by the end of week 2 and we will have explored most of our bodies by the end of the first month which is around when we'll have sex for the first time.


I've also had sex on the first date and waaaay back in high school I recall having girlfriends that wouldn't let me do more than kiss them for months and that was the end of them!

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Im a similar type of woman I think, at least the way you describe her. I can be a bit shy. So seeing it from her perspective, its unlikely she will gather up enough courage to make the first moves herself. She may keep her hands to herself and have a hard time holding eye contact with you at first. Its unlikely she will be comfortable making the first moves herself. Sorry to say this but its generally true with shy girls.


A sure sign that shes at least comfortable enough for you to lightly touch her arm, or offer her your hand, is when she maintains eye contact or smiles when she meets your eyes. Also watch for how she positions herself when shes with you. If shes very close to touching you with any part of her body, chances are shes hoping you'll make a move. In this case, have an innocent part of your body touch. Like an elbow, an arm or a knee. If she doesn't flinch or move away from your touch, try offering her your hand, palm up. This is always seen as a gentleman's gesture (is you ask me.) If she accepts your hand, great! Step one down! It doesn't matter how many dates its been really, just whenever the moment feels right. You'll get the feeling and she will give you some signals!


At the end of that particular date or get together, kiss her on the cheek after you hug her. I can be a shy girl myself. But if a date is going well, I love to receive a kiss on the cheek and a good hug. Its innocent enough.


The kiss on the kips is tricky. You might want to wait for her to give you the signals that she wants you to do it first. If I want a guy to kiss me, ill do the following (im pretty sure other girls often times do the same.)


-See if she ever looks into your eyes. Watch to see if he eyes dart or linger to your lips. Is she smiling slightly? Are her lips slightly parted? Is she comfortable putting her head close to yours? All good signs to make a move! It doesn't matter when you do it. Its all about whether or not the time feels right and she seems receptive. If she does, slowly move your head towards hers and look her in the eyes. If she doesn't move away or look away, plant a gentle kiss on her. Very sweetly.


Good luck!

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Your description reminds me of old English etiquette. This sounds so complicated and risky, because today there is no common rules or guidelines for this type of courtship dancing. Casual sex is so much easier than following old fashioned rules and guidelines of starting and maintaining a relationship. I think your suggested guidelines can help get a relationship off to a better start, if every seeking single knew how to play, and was willing to play this same game. This game is mostly about showing respect from a lady or gentleman to a lady or gentleman and establishing comfort and trust. I will try to remember these suggested tips in mind, if I am interested in a woman on a date, or if I am not on a date.

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