Jump to content

Girl Starts Acting Cold and Distant All of a Sudden


Recommended Posts

So I have been talking to some older chick, about 8 years older. She's in her mid 30s and I'm in my late 20s. She has a solid career and she's quite attractive. We know each other through church and have been in contact for about 2-3 months or so.


Everything was great. We talked a lot, kept a good pleasant light-hearted talks. This past Friday I drove about an hour to go see her. We had drinks and dinner. We talked about a lot of different things.


She invited me over to her place after. I didn't make any moves on her because I am barely beginning to get to know her. We watched some TV shows and we said our goodbyes when we both sobered up a bit.


The next day she was out with friends at a bday party. We flirted a bit, texted back and forth, and told her to have a good evening and to not drink too much. Then I also asked her let's hang out soon like on Sunday (today). She was cool about it and said we can meet at a coffeeshop nearby where everyone goes to after church. We said goodnight.


Basically at church today she was acting all distant and cold. Even my friends said her body language seemed uneasy around me. I was kind of offended and didn't want to force conversations on her. So I backed off immediately and gave her space.


Around 7PM I gave her a call and asked what she's up to. She was drinking wine with some of her friends. I asked if she was ok because I thought maybe something bothered her today. She just said something along the lines of being annoyed by the long traffic.


I was hoping she'd remember about possibly hanging out today so I asked "So are you going to just hang out with your friends tonight?" to which she replied Yes.


I said ok have a great evening. Let's hang out in the future when you're around, etc.



It's like she flipped a switch on me after 2-3 months of really good momentum. My older guy friends tell me girls her age get all defensive when things get a little potentially serious with guys because they don't wanna waste time. What do you guys think went wrong? I'm not a sleazeball or some immature idiot. I was taking things slow but tactful and charming with her. Yet she just kinda flipped. What happened?

Link to comment
Your friends are wrong, first off.


She's pissed because you, without knowing it, called her out on her drinking, and she clearly doesn't seem capable of socializing without being drunk.




I'm sorry but this is just a terrible advice.

Link to comment

Bless your soul for being a good dude and not taking advantage of the situation, but I'm of the belief that this is probably why she's acting like she is.


She invited me over to her place after. I didn't make any moves on her because I am barely beginning to get to know her. We watched some TV shows and we said our goodbyes when we both sobered up a bit.


I think she might've been looking for a little more than just television shows and goodbyes. Although you didn't do anything wrong, but I think she laid the bait out and you didn't bite so she probably assumed that you weren't interested. It's happened to me before, dozen times. I'm not a very pushy kind of guy. Infact, I've turned down a lot more opportunties than I have taken based on my own ignorance, gentlemen, nice guyness crap. But that's honestly just a part of who I am, I don't always show up at the doorstep of a female friend expecting to have sex. So when it's 1am in the morning and they're wondering why I'm not staying the night and how come I didn't slip my hand up their dress, that's why.

Link to comment

update: So basically she's emotionally immature, admittedly by her. She's indecisive and apparently easily influenced. Another mutual friend told me that her friends probably told her stuff, like "what u doing with such a young guy, he doesnt even make much money, etc." It amazes me how she could be so educated and profesionally solid, yet lack so much common sense and boundaries.


her friends are quality gold digging mean people.


She didn't find anyone else.


Also I doubt she was trying to have sex cuz when I tried to get her attention while sitting on the couch, she was so focused on the TV show that when I was trying to get her attention she said to me "Hey pay attention to the show."

Link to comment


This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Create New...