mmonsourv Posted July 25, 2011 Share Posted July 25, 2011 My ex girlfriend broke up with me around 2 months ago. Im 23 and shes 20. She said i was her first love, and we were together for 10 months. She told me its the longest relationship she has ever been in. We never fought or had any problems. We actually lived together for 5 months and it was the best times of our lives. Her parents loved me and my parents loved her, it was that "Perfect Relationship." The one thing that hurt our relationship was when her friends wanted to go out and party with her but i didnt really want to. I went out with her a couple times but they kept telling her to break up with me until she finally did. Ive been doing the NC thing for about 2 weeks now and its been really hard because i know i still love her. She just recently texted me saying she was talking with someone else and my question is after 2 months of being broke up is she on a rebound "talking stage?" We have classes together and always randomly run into each other around campus at the pool or weightroom. I still love her and i want her back but its not up to me its up to her will she eventually come back to me? ](*,) Link to comment
DN Posted July 25, 2011 Share Posted July 25, 2011 Did she tell you why she found it necessary to tell you that she is talking to someone else? Link to comment
mmonsourv Posted July 25, 2011 Author Share Posted July 25, 2011 After about 2 weeks of not talking or seeing her i decided to text her to see how shes been. After many messages back and forth she asks me if i was seeing anyone and i said no then i asked her and she told me. I dont know what to think i just know i still love her and want to be with her. Link to comment
wicked6018 Posted July 25, 2011 Share Posted July 25, 2011 that was pretty unfeeling of her to tell you she's seeing someone new. it is SO hard to go through a BU when it was a "perfect relationship." mine was the same way. oddly enough, i believe that mine also failed because of his friends. they never liked me, for no reason. they talked about me behind my back. he was VERY close to them and even lived with them. i just know that they had something to do with the ending of our relationship. i feel like if someone is going to chose their friends over you, they don't deserve you. he was my fiance, and fiance should come WAY above friends. Link to comment
Signature Posted July 25, 2011 Share Posted July 25, 2011 mate trust me, just hang in there. You love her, and i assure you she loves you too. NC means strictly NC this is * * * * ing hard, you think "one text wont hurt" but it shows her that you depend on her, you can't go a given period of time without seeing her. For NC to work, You must also follow the other rules! if you are not talking to her, but she knows that you're just sitting at home doing nothing as you're not a fan of partying, she's just gonna think...i don't want to be with sulking guy. NC is not about improving your love for HER, because you already do love her. NC IS ABOUT YOUR LOVE FOR YOU! You need to keep up NC, if she says HI in person say heya, if she calls you and you can ignore the call (within reason) ignore it! (when i say within reason, i mean don't do it in front of anyone as they'll just think you're a * * * * . the next step if loving yourself, if you don't like going out, work out why, and tackle that problem! I.E if you don't getting drunk, don't drink to much, or better still have a coke. if you don't like the way people act when they are drunk, just laugh it off, and laugh with them, they're having a good time and so should you, it's a party, and no1 likes a party pooper! What i'm trying to say is she broke up with you because, regardless of the fact she loved you, she couldn't imagine a life with a husband who would rather sit at home, than spend having fun with her at a party, show her the change, keep NC go to some parties (that she isn't at) make sure these pictures go up on facebook, so she can go wow, he's become a different guy, he's not moping at home wishing he could be with me, he doesn't need me anymore....OH MY GOD.....HE DOESN'T NEED ME ANY MORE......AND......BIGNO....she wants to be with you, the tables have turned and the ball is in your court Don't jump at the first chance and go back out with each other...you have to re-connect, Date, go out for dinner, or even a PARTY, it's okay to kiss when your part, or even during party, you guys used to kiss all the time remember...just spend some time enjoying each other's company...she will be in you hands in no time Trust me dude, NC works! Link to comment
DN Posted July 25, 2011 Share Posted July 25, 2011 OK, well since you did ask then she should not be blamed for being truthful but it does show why you need to stay in no contact. Link to comment
mmonsourv Posted July 26, 2011 Author Share Posted July 26, 2011 Yeah I see what your saying. I haven't been sitting at home I've been going out I've actually already hooked up with a couple girls in the last couple weekends. I still can't get my mind off her, I love her so much more then I would have ever thought. If she ever calls or texts again I'll way a couple hours until I respond but this will only happen if things with her new guy don't work out and its not fair to me to be her rebound when shes the one who broke up with me in the first place. We are not friends on facebook anymore so she couldn't see any of the pictures I post. The whole NC thing is alot harder then I thought but I'm just doing my best trying to stay strong. Yes i asked how she has been but I felt like I needed to especially after two weeks. Once she told me that telling she's talking with someone else that makes me step ever farther back from her and give her that space she wants. She doesn't text or call anymore, it's really killing me inside. I have decided that I'm gonna go to a new pool and gym just so we don't have to see each other anymore. This way the whole NC thing can have it's full effect. I was thinking about calling her in a month, this would be my final attempt to see where she is at in her life so what yall think about that? Link to comment
1guygirl Posted July 30, 2011 Share Posted July 30, 2011 Yeah I see what your saying. I haven't been sitting at home I've been going out I've actually already hooked up with a couple girls in the last couple weekends. she asked you if were seeing anyone and you answered no...yet you say last cpl of weekends youve been hooking up with girls....i dont get it....either you did that after she said see was talking to someone (in which case why the thread and the big deal after the event) orrr you lied to her and then got jealous cos she was jus doing exactly what you were doing Link to comment
Vaglar Posted August 4, 2011 Share Posted August 4, 2011 Hmm when I hear "we had a perfect relationship", I can't help but be doubtful. No one leaves a perfect relationship. It may have been for you, but what about your SO? Was she happy? Did you communicate with her to find out? If you love someone deeply, I don't believe friends or people around can influence you so much as to break up with someone with whom you have a solid relationship. Link to comment
mmonsourv Posted August 5, 2011 Author Share Posted August 5, 2011 She asked if I was seeing anyone before the couple weekends I started hooking up with a couple girls. It was the perfect relationship, we never fought or anything. The only thing I can think of during the whole time we were together that might have really hurt us was the little things. I'm talking about the little problems I did that I didn't know about. I'm still thinking her friends really talked her into it. *Update* It's been about 2 weeks or so since she has been talking with her new guy. They just got back from six flags a couple days ago. It seems like they really could workout. Then again I found out this guy just got out of a 3 year relationship about a year ago. Since then he has dated a couple and talked with ALOT of girls. His ex said I give it 5 months tops and told me all this a couple days ago. He is also a bartender at the club. I'm thinking he is just a player and might even just be using her. Atleast shes getting that party guy she really wanted with all those free drinks but is that what she really wants? Is she really happy? What do y'all think about all of this? Link to comment
delicous Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 Im sorry your going through this break up...Its soo soo tough to go through and I can definetly understand why your asking,, I unfortunetly have no idea for sure if shes just on rebound or if she is warning you that she is getting serious with this guy... The last time which was actually recently that I texted a man telling him Im seeing someone else, it was serious and it was real and I did it out of 100% respect for my boyfriend at that time... He was everything to me... and... I did it again after him and I broke up for the "same" reason.... You can't make someone want you, unfortunetly, the only thing you can do is live your life, do YOU and only YOU...Do not go on rebound after rebound...It doesn't last when you are still hung up on the ex, believe me there...It DOESN'T and even if it does, it feels forced either by you or by them.... Im STILL not 100% over why my ex did what he did, and am NOW hung up on my current man friend who I have been on and off with for a whole year now or pretty close to that...."he doesn't deserve me, but Im also NOT settling, regardless what my friends may think..." The other side of it is...She could be telling you this "In hopes." that you ask for her back...She could be realizing that partying life isn't what she wants, she wants something serious. Its hard to tell though since you both are very young in college....Are you two in a Uni? Uni is all about the party and not the relationship... I hope everything works out, but....Id maybe contact her back to get "clarification." if its serious or if she is seeking you to want her back again...straight up!... Take my advise with a grain of salt because Im obviously not the best example, but Im learning, just very stubborn... Link to comment
delicous Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 I thought it was 2 weeks...its been 2 months?...That is quite a long time... Try to stay busy... Link to comment
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