Autiger1209 Posted July 24, 2011 Share Posted July 24, 2011 My ex broke off our relationship 3 weeks ago. We got serious quickly as she was the first to say "I love you" and talk about us getting married and how she wanted to by next year. She's always been someone afraid of commitment and hasn't had but a couple serious relationships over the last decade, counting me. We're both 26. About 3 weeks before she broke it off I started noticing her pulling away and not acting as loving. We talked frequently about having some communication issues when we argued (which might have been 3 or 4 times our entire relationship). When she broke it off she said things like she didn't know if she was in love with me any more and wanted time apart. She said a couple times how worried she was that she was making a huge mistake and was afraid she might regret her decision some day. So we go 2 weeks with NC but I still feel left in the blue because there were some things that she said that made me feel like she didn't want this to be completely over but just wanted time. So I of course gave in and called her 2 weeks later for possible closure. I asked her if I should move on with my life because I wasn't going to feel like I was in limbo about everything. She told me I should move on. So we talked for some time about things. She talked about how she didn't understand how she could have been so sure about us being lifelong partners, and how she doesn't understand why she doesn't feel that way anymore. She mentioned how when she had gone on vacation a week before our break up that she could have gone the entire time without calling me, which bothered her. Another thing that she said was how things were perfect on paper but that something wasn't right, that our communication didn't help that feeling. We ended the hour long conversation by me telling her how I was proud of her for making the decision she felt was right, and acting on it instead of it lingering on. So it's a week later and she text me out of the blue last night. The conversation went like this: Her-"Hey how are you" Me-"Good, but a little sunburned. What's up?" Her-"Mmmm. Not much, just wanted to say hey" Me-"Glad you did. Not doing much this weekend?" Her-"Nah, I worked today...did some shopping for work. Made dinner, now watching a movie" We had a couple more light exchanges but I told her I was going out and she said have fun. My take on this is that she just wanted to see how I was doing after our conversation last week. One thing that makes me wonder though, is that since we live an hour away from each other, we would typically just spend the weekends at one of our cities. Since it was Saturday night and she wasn't doing anything, possibly she might be missing some things? I just want to stay NC if her means of texting me mean nothing other than a friendly 'how are you'. Could someone that has more experience with stuff like this lend some advice? Thank you in advance Link to comment
blackhawks1287 Posted July 25, 2011 Share Posted July 25, 2011 Just be blunt with her...ask her why she is texting you... You are honoring such texts with your kind hearted replies... If you don't like her reasons, or she doesn't want to talk about getting back together then just go NC and mean it this time... Link to comment
Hollyj Posted July 25, 2011 Share Posted July 25, 2011 This girl is stringing you along for an ego stroke. My ex did the same crap! She has serious commitment issues and will not be a healthy partner until she deals with her problems. The best thing you can do for yourself, is stay NC. Forever! She's a waste of time! Link to comment
Autiger1209 Posted July 25, 2011 Author Share Posted July 25, 2011 4 months. We also dated 3 years ago in college for about 6 months. We were both too young and immature to have a serious relationship the first time. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted July 25, 2011 Share Posted July 25, 2011 Ok, so you have dated for four months and in that time: -"We got serious quickly as she was the first to say "I love you"" -"Talk[ed] about us getting married and how she wanted to by next year." -"She's always been someone afraid of commitment and hasn't had but a couple serious relationships over the last decade" -"We're both 26" -"We talked frequently about having some communication issues when we argued (which might have been 3 or 4 times our entire relationship)." -"she didn't know if she was in love with me any more and wanted time apart." -"So we go 2 weeks with NC and ... told me I should move on." -"She mentioned how when she had gone on vacation a week before our break up that she could have gone the entire time without calling me, which bothered her." It sounds like a rushed relationship between two people who weren't compatible. I would completely end contact and move on. If she regrets her decision, she knows where to find you. Honestly, though, most women her age who are expressing a desire to be married would LOVE a guy who was interested in talking marriage so soon. So it wounds like she really really doesn't have those feelings for you and its best not to be with someone who would only hurt you badly later on by leaving when you are more emotionally attached. Link to comment
Ariel85 Posted July 25, 2011 Share Posted July 25, 2011 I do this sometimes with ex's. Not so much because I'm intending or trying to string them along, but moreso from boredom and I know certain guys will always respond. Link to comment
Autiger1209 Posted July 25, 2011 Author Share Posted July 25, 2011 Chances are that you are right. Just don't know why she would text me "just to say hey". The timing of it makes me wonder because she's sitting at home on a weekend (the times we spend together) by herself watching a movie. I just want to move on if she wasn't texting me because she missed us and wanted to reach out. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted July 25, 2011 Share Posted July 25, 2011 Chances are that you are right. Just don't know why she would text me "just to say hey". The timing of it makes me wonder because she's sitting at home on a weekend (the times we spend together) by herself watching a movie. I just want to move on if she wasn't texting me because she missed us and wanted to reach out. Even if she missed you, she'd leave again once a promising new guy showed interest given everything you have written here. Link to comment
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