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So close but so far away - Part 2


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There is a guy that I met back in May, he came to visit his cousin who is a dear family friend of mine. We just started talking and really hit it off. He was staying a few weeks, and I live in a different city and we all went to his city to watch my friend's graduation.


A week later he came to visit me in my city and we all spent time together with my family and his. We really hit it off, he kept opening doors for me, we kept talking and talking and I felt an instant attraction to him. He lives in another country so I was hoping not to get too attached but it did not seem to matter at the time.


He as asked me repeatedly to come visit him in his country and my friend even agreed to go with me to visit him. I said that I could not be there this summer but maybe in the fall I could go see him with my friend.


In the mean time we have talked a little bit on facebook and he just wished me happy birthday, (its's my birthday today !!) But he did not post it on my wall, he sent me a personal message.


So my question is this, should I go and visit him with my friend. I barely know him but I know that I am very attracted to him. What kind of message am I sending by flying as a girl to a different country to see a boy that I just met and who I am very interested in getting to know better. It's a quandry, what would you do ? How can we be together again??



Thanks in advance for all of your responses !

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Happy Birthday!


As to your question, so you are just asking about the visit.....how could the relationship work if you decided to move forward with one if you are only asking the question about the next time you are to be together??


I am asking about the visit, what would happen if I moved forward with it. I think if I go with a friend, it is a lot less pressure, what do you think ?

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I think you missed my point.....sorry, let me try again. While you are concerned about going to visit him in another country and if you should go alone or with a friend, one of your questions was "How can we be together again?" I took this to mean because of the distance. So I am asking, if you should even consider visiting him (alone or with a friend) the distance alone seems to present it's own set of challenges when dating someone - should you even bother at all?

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If I make a move and get on that plane to see him I am saying directly or indirectly that I find him attractive, am into him and want to take it to the next level.


The distance would be an issue. The only reason I would even bother is that he says when he finishes his post-graduate studies, he wants to move here because one of his most respected physicists lives here in my town.


I am into him that much that I could wait for him. Could be several years. But I would wait.


BUT, my main questions is , by getting on that plane and going to *country*, I am making a huge move and is that the move I really want to make? SHOULD I MAKE THIS MOVE?!?


We hit if off great, we were talking non-stop through the night and the following day, he just makes me *feel* like I am a better me. It was sad to say goodbye, and odd, he acted like he didn't care about me, and then a day later on FB asks me to come see him, and my friend jumped in on the conversation and he asked her to come visit and make sure he brings me along. Idk maybe he is just in the mood of inviting everyone to canada.


It doesn't mean anything I am sure, just still don't know what it would be like to make that trip.


Am I making any sense at all? Did I answer your question learning?

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So I would say let him make the first move in expressing interest. Yes, you going out there alone might send that message but worse yet, if he is not into you, you have no one else to spend time with but him and if he is not interested, you will be miserable. Wait it out. Stay in touch and see where it goes. And while he talks about moving out there when his studies are over because of someone he has great respect for, things change for various reasons and there is no guarantee. I say, stay friends and see about what available fish are in the sea in your backyard.....where they are available to actually participate in a relationship. My two cents...

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So I would say let him make the first move in expressing interest.



He wished me happy birthday today with a message not a post. It was a clever and cute message too. He has a constant way of showing that he may be interested on FB...my friend says that she thinks he is into me.


Also, good points on getting on a plane to go see him.

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