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Well it's two days - I still want him but....

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not in the current toxic painful situation!




I haven't contacted him, and he has not contacted me - it seems like a lifetime but I am not going to involve myself in further drama and upset myself, nor look like a mad person!


What have I done

I spent Friday evening with two of my closest friends, which was great, got it all out verbally, able to talk out everything that has happened.

Yesterday, I kept busy, made sure I did stuff I enjoy. Looked at alternate healing methods and bought some information. I also didn't visit this site!


I have thought about stuff and know that I have to remove myself from equation. I am going to look after myself and keep busy. I plan to eat more healthily, have fun and try and put this to back of my mind. My friend feels like she would like to contact him, to talk to him - this may be an option at a much later date when things have subsided but not at present, with everything being so raw, and being so toxic.


I do believe his 'relationship' will come to an end at some point - can one exist successfully on a pack of lies?

I do want him to contact me, I do want to get back together providing he is single, and we can resolve our issues, and it will prob involve therapy.


I do believe that he is confused, and messed up and so have I been. I'm not in denial, I realise that it may not happen and that I will be ok (eventually) if it doesn't work out, and things are too damaged, I just do believe that things come be overcome if two people want to work it out.


I realise that there are people who will think I am crazy, however I realise that our relationship breakdown is due to both of us. I'm in my thirties, I have had more than one long term relationships which has broken down, however I have never felt the depth of emotion, love and feeling that this is the person I would like to spend the rest of my life with.


I realise that there may come a time where I feel differently, but at the moment, I'm posting in this area because I can't pretend that I don't want to work it out because I do.


Does this make me wrong?

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Just focus on you for now. He will contact you believe me, but don't worry yourself about it. When he contacts you hopefully you will be in a better place because you do NOT want to start at square one. Try not to focus on how HE feels right now, find that inner strength and get your self in order. Work on your life, appearance, anything that can distract and hep you right now, and trust me he will sense these changes and show up.

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Thank you for your post. I really really hope he does in time because he feels like I do. I know its a mess but not insurmountable. I am trying to concentrate on me, is early days and I feel like Ihave to wean myself off him/wanting to contact him. Icouldn't possibly say anymore than I already have so no regrets there!

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The first few days of breakup are the hardest...so try to keep it up and take it one step of at a time. Think of it like a challenge to make you a stronger person.


Thanks - it is the first few days of no contact/trying to accept/looking at reality and what a mess everything feels at the moment.

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