How do i make this work?!?! Need help now!! Plz

[NEEDBIGHELP]

Get ready for the most confusing thing in your life

 

Ok so I have an ex who's had a hard time in life cuz her dad's dying and so for 3 months we dated and i always got dumped for stupid reasons and i recently found out that she doesn't know what she wants in life,

We have had a lot of arguments over stuff and we love each other and keep arguing and it's over stupid stuff, Now I used to be a bit temper before but i'm better now and I don't think fighting over stupid things anymore is mature,

So a couple weeks ago we where talking and so she told me that she didn't love me anymore, and that almost destroyed me.

and a couple of days ago after unblocking my number on her phone and unblocking me on a social network,

I was talking to this new girl cuz i was trying to get over my ex,

and she came back to me crying saying she needed me more than ever (when she dumped me she said we couldn't date again) and now she wants to be friends for now and see where things go,

now I Don't wanna drop this other girl cuz she's sweat and hates players, but I dont' wanna drop my Ex, who loves me and wants to work things out, but this new girl is sweat and she has a lot in common with me, like my ex did,

and so my ex doesn't wanna date cuz she's so hurt cuz of her father about to die and she hardly got to see him this summer cuz he was constantly puking up blood every 15 mins,

and so I told my ex i didn't love her a couple of days ago cuz i was trying to get over her and she was heartbroken,

and so when i texted her bff who's trying to help her get over me I asked if she could Tell my ex that i still loved her cuz i do but i also like this new girl,

and I told my ex that I Wouldn't talk to that other girl cuz i still love her but her family hates me, and most of her friends hate me, accept her bff who's down to earth enough to not flip on me,

I know that the make up break up is ridiculous and I don't wanna keep going through it, and I told her that if we ever do get back together that we can't keep doing it, and she understood,

but my friends and family say we're no good for each other and I don't wanna keep dissapointing them cuz they're only caring for me and so is hers,

I've changed Real bad lol,

I used to rap and loved rapping so bad, and now I fell inlove with country cuz it reads me most of the time,

So I don't know what to do,

Blow off this new sweet and pretty girl that i like?

or go back to my ex who cried herself to sleep a couple times cuz she misses me,

and me and my ex say mean stuff to each other that we shouldn't have when we argue,

and she assumes that i'm gonna leave her for another girl on my choice,

Idk, i just told her that i'd wait for her, but I really like this new girl and i still love my ex at the same time,

we both get along and my ex and me at first got along but we've been having stupid arguements lately cuz she's confused,

now i'm 16,

my ex is 17,

and this new girl is 16,

I've been through so much in the past 3 months than my whole life,

i wanna try with this new girl cuz she's amazingly nice like my ex was,

but I don't wanna go back on my promise with my ex that i just said cuz she's hit rock bottom cuz i said i didn't love her anymore,

I Just wanna make things right but the people around us are really getting affected, I like her friends (Not like that, I like them as a friend) but...

It's a lot of ur parents hate me and mine hate you but we love each other real bad and we keep dragging people into it,

and I need guidance cuz she's like my first real girlfriend,

I mean i've dated a couple girls before her for like 3 maybe 4 weeks but i've never loved them,

she's my first love and we where madly in love at one point and went a lil too fast at one point,

and she'd say lets slow it down and go back to hugs and kisses only,

No making out or anything,

And i've committed to her but when we go that far she feels like she's easy-going and i don't think she is,

she's so confused in life but i don't wanna hurt her cuz i did enough damage telling her that i didn't love her when i did,

She knows now that i do,

but her friends are sick of me and her doing this make up break up s*it,

and I Don't know what to do,

we've been through so much and know both of each others secrets from early childhood to now, cuz we're honest with each other and we swore to not tell them to anyone if we broke up,

I don't wanna hurt my ex,

but with the way things seem, i don't wanna get played and also lose that other girl at the same time,

My ex almost pushed me away for good but i still have hope for us but this other girl is way prettier and a bit nicer and i'm not the kinda guy who can hurt someone cuz i'll feel bad about it, and i mean real bad

So if you read this please, i need advice reall soon cuz I don't know what to do so have a debate with me so i can explain more cuz there's a hell of a lot more lol and I need a reasoning point

[elcie]

You are so confused and hurt at the moment that I don't think that you are ready for a relationship with either girl.

 

I know that you are very attracted by the new girl, but it's very obvious that you still have unresolved feelings for your ex. And your ex is going through a lot of personal trauma at the moment and the last thing she would be capable of would be to resume her relationship with you.

 

The best thing to do, IMO, would be to explain the situation to the new girl. If she is as nice as you say she is, then she will understand that it would be the wrong time to start a relationship with her.

 

And if you care for your ex, and it's pretty obvious that you do, then stand by her as a friend and nothing more. In time, the best thing to do will become apparent.

 

Best Wishes

[NEEDBIGHELP]

Yeah, I Guess You're Right,

I Mean Her Parents Don't Hate Me But I'm Afraid Of What Might Happen,

This New Girl Likes Me And I Don't Wanna Be Mean,

I'm not that kinda guy who can tell someone something like this and walk away from it without feeling some sort of guilt cuz she's the kinda girl who talks to one girl at a time,

And i'm that kinda person too,

I mean i can't think straight, I can't sleep, i'm up at 7 in the morning right now,

It's like..... With My Ex We are the right people for each other but i guess you're right, trauma does fit into the whole personal problems,

and my ex says she wants to be friends but she doesn't wanna kick things off cuz well she said something like "i'm afraid to be friends cuz I don't know how long i'll wanna be friends before i wanna date again" cuz me and her get along great but sooner or later we'll have a bump in the road and she said "I don't wanna do that and hurt you again" cuz well... Let's Just say last time when she told me she didn't love me.... It wasn't a kid tearing up... It was a water fountain that was broken into crumbles.... And My parents don't hate her but they where hurt too cuz to be honest.... My bestfriend was over when this happened and well... he's never seen me cry until that day.... I'm usually not explanitory about this kinda stuff but I need to say it.... She wants to date again and she's got problems going on and It's effecting me,

I mean i'm there for her but We Keep both making people promises that "this is the last time, it won't happen again" and we keep going back at it.... So lem'me know what you think, and thanks about the best wishes part lol

[elcie]

If you read back your own post, then you'll realize something that's very clear to me.....most of it was about your ex and not the new girl. The kindest thing to do would be to not get involved with the new girl and mix her up in the confused situation you are in.

 

It's also obvious that your ex is mixed up as well. Although she said that she doesn't love you, she's not really letting you go either. Maybe she just really needs your emotional support at the moment but is not sure how to be 'just friends' with you.

 

Is it possible to have a talk with her and find out what you need from each other? If she cannot give you an answer, then for your own state of mind it would be best to take a step back from her. A bit of space from each other could possibly make things clearer.

[NEEDBIGHELP]

So What You're Saying Is That She Loves Me But Her Problems Are Messing With Her Inability To Love At The Moment? Meaning She Loves Me But She Can't Balance A Relationship And Her Problems At The Same Time?

And I'll Do That And Have A Talk With Her,

I Mean, It's Gonna Be Serious.

And Maybe You're Right.... I'm Confused And So Is My Ex, There's No Need for me to go getting her involved in it cuz it'll only create a big comotion..

[elcie]

I think good communication is always the best way to deal with a situation.

[NEEDBIGHELP]

Alright I'll Try, Thanks And I'll Keep You Posted (: Just Be Ready To Check Some Time lol, She's Sleeping Right Now lol And it'd Prolly Be Another 7-9 Hours before I give an answer lol cuz it's just turning 8 now and it's prolly gonna be another 4 or 5 hours b4 she wakes up and then i'll ask her the basic Q's like how's She doing and Some other stuff lol I Mean i'm not gonna cut straight to the chase when she wakes up cuz 1 that's rude lol and 2. No one likes being asked Q's when they wake up first thing in the morning (: P.S. Thanks (:

[elcie]

Good Luck.....it's obvious that you care about the feelings of both girls, you deserve the best!!

[NEEDBIGHELP]

Thank You, Whoever That Guy You Have Or Are Gonna Have lol He's Gonna Have A Great Girl For Him lol Thank You, And You Too

[NEEDBIGHELP]

Alright I'll Try, Thanks And I'll Keep You Posted (: Just Be Ready To Check Some Time lol, She's Sleeping Right Now lol And it'd Prolly Be Another 7-9 Hours before I give an answer lol cuz it's just turning 8 now and it's prolly gonna be another 4 or 5 hours b4 she wakes up and then i'll ask her the basic Q's like how's She doing and Some other stuff lol I Mean i'm not gonna cut straight to the chase when she wakes up cuz 1 that's rude lol and 2. No one likes being asked Q's when they wake up first thing in the morning (: P.S. Thanks (

Alright So It Turns Out She Said We Can just Be Friends And I Think She Knows That Will Hurt Me So I Said Alright Cuz Now She Says Me And Her Can Only Be Friends, But I'm Not Sure What She's Up To Cuz I Havent Asked Her About The Whole What Do You Need From Me Cuz She Said That And So Now I Think Me And Her Have Our Problems Resolved,

But I Think She's Trying To Play me Cuz After I Said Ok, She Said So are You Still gonna talk to that one girl? and i said no but i still am cuz it's kinda my business and so i told her the opposite cuz it's my business,

I think maybe she was lying the whole time cuz my ma's friends with her ma's best friend and she said her dad's not dying and so I think she's only going for attention,

idk, I feel like she's playing a game now Reply back and lem'me know what you think... (:

[NEEDBIGHELP]

Good Luck.....it's obvious that you care about the feelings of both girls, you deserve the best!!

Alright So It Turns Out She Said We Can just Be Friends And I Think She Knows That Will Hurt Me So I Said Alright Cuz Now She Says Me And Her Can Only Be Friends, But I'm Not Sure What She's Up To Cuz I Havent Asked Her About The Whole What Do You Need From Me Cuz She Said That And So Now I Think Me And Her Have Our Problems Resolved,

But I Think She's Trying To Play me Cuz After I Said Ok, She Said So are You Still gonna talk to that one girl? and i said no but i still am cuz it's kinda my business and so i told her the opposite cuz it's my business,

I think maybe she was lying the whole time cuz my ma's friends with her ma's best friend and she said her dad's not dying and so I think she's only going for attention,

idk, I feel like she's playing a game now Reply back and lem'me know what you think... (:

[elcie]

See if you can find out for sure about her father. If she's lying to you about something so important and playing games with you, then that changes everything.

 

If it's as bad as you think, then it would be impossible to have a proper relationship with her. You don't need this!!!!

 

Remember too, you felt the need to lie to her as well. If you feel that you can't be honest to her, then it doesn't bode well for the future of your relationship.

 

This is just my opinion based on what you have told me, I'm sorry

[NEEDBIGHELP]

See if you can find out for sure about her father. If she's lying to you about something so important and playing games with you, then that changes everything.

 

If it's as bad as you think, then it would be impossible to have a proper relationship with her. You don't need this!!!!

 

Remember too, you felt the need to lie to her as well. If you feel that you can't be honest to her, then it doesn't bode well for the future of your relationship.

 

This is just my opinion based on what you have told me, I'm sorry

It was kinda my business yeah I'm not saying anything mean but she kinda told me when we where dating, and I kinda said it when we weren't and well....... My lie kinda was based on a personal business when it went that way but I felt sorry for her and tried my hardest to cheer her up and she said I couldn't and i read a message she sent to my ma's phone and she said "I just don't feel the same way for him like i used to" and she's saying this now and i'm a bit confused cuz we wanna try but she said she wants to earn my trust again cuz i kinda confronted her about that, and she also usually don't date her Ex's but she's never loved anyone like me, and so yeah But I kinda did stop talking to that other girl cuz I could kinda see the personal stuff between me and my ex heading her way so I felt the need to pull out and tell her that we can just be friends and she understood and wasn't sad or mad, and so me and that other girl are just friends..... but my ex wants to just keep me and her hanging out a secret between her 2 best friends cuz her best friend Joan.... I'm kinda scared of her lol, she can get mean And i'm not gonna argue with a girl and be mean to one either, so yeah,

Reply and lem'me know what you think (:

[NEEDBIGHELP]

NVM she called me up earlier (you know how she was sad cuz i was talking to another girl) well, she just called me up saying "Uhm.... Don't get mad when i tell you this but i've been talking to this guy who's 20" and I dang near hit rock bottom when she last said she didn't love me.... And now she's saying she don't wanna try again, I knew i was gonna get played.... I could just feel it... well..... Now i've hit rock bottom, and i'm misserable now, she complained about me talking to another girl and to find out she's been talking to another guy, and well.... Now i'm just hurt real bad.... I need to get away from all this stuff I've gotta apologize to the other girl and ask if we can start talking to be like a lil more than friends, I Knew this was gonna happen to me Great!

[NEEDBIGHELP]

she just came back to finish me Off I guess

[elcie]

Your ex does seem like bad news.....and she's really messing with your head!

 

It might seem really hard but the best thing to do would be to start distancing yourself from your ex. You need some space to work things out. I don't think it's a good idea to approach the new girl yet.....she's going to think that you've only got back with her because it didn't work out with your ex.....NOT the best way to start a new relationship. Get to know her as a friend first...I mean, she sounds nicer than your ex. Be patient; it's more important to sort out your feelings than to jump into a relationship too quickly.

 

I think I said in my first post that you were too confused and hurt to be in a relationship with either girl. Even after learning more of the situation, I think that advice is still valid. Look after yourself first, do a lot of thinking and work out what's best for you. Only when you are over your ex, can it be possible to have a successful relationship with the new girl.

[NEEDBIGHELP]

Alright I'll Try, And That's What Everyone Tells Me, And You're Right She is..... I Wasn't Getting Good THoughts earlier and they weren't an act of violence..... I Think I'll take the summer to sort stuff out then maybe consider the other girl..... But I kinda told my ex that i can't be friends with her cuz i'm in too much pain that it almost killed me, I told her that we can't be in each others life, and so I deleted her off of a social network and blocked her number from my phone, and.... Idk, this too much for me to handle,

[NEEDBIGHELP]

Alright I'll Try, And That's What Everyone Tells Me, And You're Right She is.... I Think I'll take the summer to sort stuff out then maybe consider the other girl..... But I kinda told my ex that i can't be friends with her cuz i'm in too much pain that it almost killed me, I told her that we can't be in each others life, and so I deleted her off of a social network and blocked her number from my phone, and.... Idk, this too much for me to handle,

[elcie]

It IS going to be hard....and there will be good days and bad days.....but if you believe in yourself and stay strong, then you WILL be able to handle it.

 

Good luck!

[NEEDBIGHELP]

Thank You (: And I'll Try My Hardest (: