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Life On The Rocinante' (After Dark!)


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Oh good grief , I cringed my way through that ... awful , irresponsible and not acceptable .

 

Hoping you are feeling ok .

 

 

Yea... it's definitely cringe worthy.

 

Feeling a lit better today, actually.

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I just saw this and hope you are feeling ok.

 

I agree with Pippy that perhaps her employer should be reported.

 

I'm feeling a lot better today than I have been.

 

They told her she doesn't have to come in tomorrow, so there's that at least. But she might have to work Friday still.

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Z's Mom has commented on my Facebook multiple times telling me how worried she is about me. This is so different than what I'm used to. The parents/families of pretty much every significant other I've ever had have disliked me at best and hated me at worst. I know if you find yourself being not liked over and over again it's you who's most likely the problem. And I'm willing to look back and own my role in a lot of this stuff. There are a couple of situations though where I really think I was just used as a scapegoat for their son's issues.

 

The first serious relationship I was ever in was one that was basically forced on me by my parents. He was a couple of years older and his family owned a business so my parents were convinced this was the absolute best I could do when it came to finding a partner in life. His whole family was nuts. His parents were in their 50s and their favorite thing to do was be trolls online. I'm 100% serious. They would sit for hours in front of the computer just starting arguments with random people. They also spent a lot of money flying their online friends here from all over the country to drink and party with them. Not saying there's anything wrong with drinking and partying. But when you have no actual friends in the real world and the only people you can get to socialize with you are other online trolls who love drama then there's a problem. They also believed the government was watching them, that their phones were tapped etc. I'm not making any of this up. The reason for this, according to them, was because his Dad was in Vietnam. Ok... so were a lot of people. I seriously doubt the government is tracking and watching every single Vietnam vet. And I don't even think his Dad ever saw active combat. I'm not downplaying his service in the Military. But I don't think he actually fought in the war. There were a lot of things that just didn't add up.

 

And they as a family would tell these tall tales. I mean... the whole family actually believed these crazy stories. They tried to tell me one night that they all saw a UFO. Ok, I think UFOs are a real thing. A UFO is an Unidentified Flying Object. I don't deny they all could have actually seen one. But the way they say it happened was just ridiculous. According to all of them, they were all sitting out on the front porch one night (In a residential neighborhood in a pretty populated city) and a UFO came down real low and was hovering right above the street for over an hour. They said they could see all these details, and the lights underneath, etc. They all sat there and watched it for over an hour and all the neighbors saw and everything. Ok... but in that hour no one thought to go grab a camera? Supposedly the whole neighborhood was watching. Not one person took a picture?

 

My ex had a "sister" that U never heard mentioned until after she died. They all claimed that she came to stay there for 2 weeks from the other side of the country and in those two weeks they legally adopted her. Well, her parents were still alive and had custody of her. She just went there for a visit. And a legal adoption takes a little longer than two weeks. They weren't working on the adoption beforehand or anything like that. they claim she got there, decided she wanted them to be her family instead of her real family, and they legally adopted her. Then she was up in a tree drinking vodka one night behind their house and she fell out of the tree and broke her back. Well, then she had to go back home and live with her real parent. Um... well if you guys legally adopted her aren't you her real parents?

 

His older sister was 30 and cheating on her husband (Who works his ass off supporting her and their three kids) with an 18-year-old friend that the parents met online. The parents were encouraging this because the 18-year-old was their friend. Isn't it weird that two 50 somethings were friends with this 18-year-old kid online and trying to set their 30-year-old married daughter up with him? Well, she got pregnant by him while still married.

 

This is going on way too long... as far as why they hated me so much. A few reasons. One big one was that I can't drive and their son had to do all the driving when we went out and did stuff. They were convinced I was just faking my vision issues and that I was lazy. Also because I didn't want to get married the second I graduated high school. They got married at 15 and 17 and so they thought everyone should marry young. And they also got married after dating for a really short time, too, so they just thought as soon as I graduated I should marry him. They hated that I wanted more out of life than just being barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen.

 

They had been married 30 years and claimed that they never once argued. Their son and I got into arguments and so I must be 100% at fault because he wasn't raised that way according to them. Ok... well when he lies to me, cheats on me, calls me names, tells me to shut up, etc I guess I'm just supposed to sit back and take it.

 

They had this big get together at their house every summer for all their online friends. They accused me of being rude at that get together one year. Looking back, I was young and socially awkward, and yea, maybe I was kinda rude in a way. We went to his house and he didn't give me any warning that the get-together was happening. So we walk in and the house is full of people, most of them are all drunk and being loud and stuff. This guy who stayed with them off and on was in the dining room and he told me there was plenty of food and to help myself. So I took a piece of garlic bread and got a bowl of fruit salad. I was standing there eating that and multiple people asked me who I was online. I told them all that I'm not part of this crowd, I'm just here with my bf. Well later on his parents were furious with me because I just walked in and helped myself to food that was intended for their guests and I told people I wasn't part of that crowd. Well, I wasn't. What was I suppose to do, lie? This resulted in a massive shouting matched between his Mom and I where I was banned from their house.

 

So yea... I know in this post it probably seems like I'm not taking much responsibility for my own role in the situation. But this is a situation where I think they just blew things out of proportion. They just had a real problem with anyone who didn't share their values. And they also were those type of parents who didn't think anyone was good enough for their precious little babies. They hated everyone his siblings brought home also.

 

Stream of consciousness rants might start being more common in here. I don't know yet.

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I hope Z is ok and I'm glad it sounds like you're having a good time interacting with her mom!

 

I felt so bad for her this morning I was about crying. She was puking and coughing really bad this morning. I decided to be proactive and actually figure out a way for her to get tested today. She is genuinely afraid of losing her job, also.

 

I actually asked my Mom to send her a friend request. My Mom isn't very Facebook savvy and she doesn't usually add people. She waits for people to add her. The other day Z was saying she wonders why none of my family of friends have added her. I didn't really know how to respond. Most of them haven't met her. I know I wouldn't feel comfortable adding someone's SO if I hadn't met them yet. Maybe I'm just out of touch with what the etiquette on that is though. The last person I was with... as soon as we made our relationship Facebook official a whole bunch of his friends added me without having ever met me.

 

My Mom and brother have both met her in passing. But it was a really quick encounter both times. And my brother met her back before we ever even started dating. She was just my roommate then and he was fixing my lawnmower.

 

So I asked my Mom to friend request her because I know it would make her feel good. Hopefully my Mom actually does it.

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I felt so bad for her this morning I was about crying. She was puking and coughing really bad this morning. I decided to be proactive and actually figure out a way for her to get tested today. She is genuinely afraid of losing her job, also.

 

I actually asked my Mom to send her a friend request. My Mom isn't very Facebook savvy and she doesn't usually add people. She waits for people to add her. The other day Z was saying she wonders why none of my family of friends have added her. I didn't really know how to respond. Most of them haven't met her. I know I wouldn't feel comfortable adding someone's SO if I hadn't met them yet. Maybe I'm just out of touch with what the etiquette on that is though. The last person I was with... as soon as we made our relationship Facebook official a whole bunch of his friends added me without having ever met me.

 

My Mom and brother have both met her in passing. But it was a really quick encounter both times. And my brother met her back before we ever even started dating. She was just my roommate then and he was fixing my lawnmower.

 

So I asked my Mom to friend request her because I know it would make her feel good. Hopefully my Mom actually does it.

 

I mean sure if that is important to her! I never was in this situation. I am on Facebook, my husband is nominally on Facebook -joined after we married I think? And I am friends with some of his friends mostly because I know them. His cousins and relatives are also in my family and one reason we are FB connected is because my husband isn't active on FB and this way I can show him the photos. What would it accomplish if your mother friends her - so your SO can see what she posts about on Facebook?

 

I hope she feels much better!!

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I felt so bad for her this morning I was about crying. She was puking and coughing really bad this morning. I decided to be proactive and actually figure out a way for her to get tested today. She is genuinely afraid of losing her job, also.

 

I actually asked my Mom to send her a friend request. My Mom isn't very Facebook savvy and she doesn't usually add people. She waits for people to add her. The other day Z was saying she wonders why none of my family of friends have added her. I didn't really know how to respond. Most of them haven't met her. I know I wouldn't feel comfortable adding someone's SO if I hadn't met them yet. Maybe I'm just out of touch with what the etiquette on that is though. The last person I was with... as soon as we made our relationship Facebook official a whole bunch of his friends added me without having ever met me.

 

My Mom and brother have both met her in passing. But it was a really quick encounter both times. And my brother met her back before we ever even started dating. She was just my roommate then and he was fixing my lawnmower.

 

So I asked my Mom to friend request her because I know it would make her feel good. Hopefully my Mom actually does it.

 

Gee..

I am the opposite. I really don't want my guy's family to friend me on social media. I am very limited on it, but even so that's MY space to speak freely.

I think you should tell her what you said - some relatives aren't really on Facebook are not tech savvy and they have not all met her.

 

Do you think FB does not actually matter per se, but its a way of marking her territory/ getting reassurance from you about how you feel (if family is friends with her, then you feel secure with her)

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Gee..

I am the opposite. I really don't want my guy's family to friend me on social media. I am very limited on it, but even so that's MY space to speak freely.

I think you should tell her what you said - some relatives aren't really on Facebook are not tech savvy and they have not all met her.

 

Do you think FB does not actually matter per se, but its a way of marking her territory/ getting reassurance from you about how you feel (if family is friends with her, then you feel secure with her)

 

I don't really care who adds me on Facebook because I pretty much use it to promote my business. My newsfeed is full of pics of my work, various announcements about upcoming gallery shows/festivals I'll be at, etc, and memes. Somehow I still manage to offend people though, sign of the times I guess.

 

As for her motives, I don't think she's marking her territory. She's not possessive like that. I know she has had some real issues with her family not accepting her for who she is. Her and her Dad are estranged. He disowned her. And her and her Mom didn't speak for years and have just recently started mending that fence. So I think she just wants my family to accept her. I haven't mentioned this on here before now because there hasn't been a reason to, but she is a Trans woman. She has a pretty easy time passing for Cis out in public. She has a small, slender build and delicate, feminine features. I've seen pics of her back before she started transitioning, and she was an effeminate looking man. But, her family isn't entirely accepting of this. Her siblings don't have any issues, but her parents are older and more set in their ways.

 

My family accepts my orientation but only because my Gay sister came out first. My family is Catholic. Growing up I could do no right. My parents just thought I was evil. My Dad even told me once that out of his 5 kids he loved me the least. My sister was the perfect princess who could do no wrong. She gets caught half naked dry humping her boyfriend at 14, oh, kids will be kids. She brings home bad grades, Oh well she tried her best. Meanwhile I got punished for practically everything I did. Even when I did something right it was still wrong. There was so much blatant favoritism in our house it was disgusting. I was friends with girl in my late teens who was Bi. My Mom found out and was saying all this stuff like, "I hope people don't see you two together and get the wrong idea. I don't want people thinking I raised a *word that rhymes with bike.* What would people think of our family?" etc. I pretty much figured I would live my whole life in the closet at that point. Then my sister comes out. And oh, she's such a brave beautiful girl and we will always love her no matter what. Then I felt safe coming out. And when I did I was accused of only doing it for attention and to copy my sister. I guarantee though if I would have came out first I would have been disowned.

 

But now, my family has come a long way in their thinking. We have a lot of LGBTQ people in the family. I have multiple gay cousins. I also have a cousin who is Trans, and my family accepts her. I also found out recently that my Dad was Bi. He was very closeted but my Mom knew.

 

I know this is a longer answer than you probably expected. But in her eyes my family probably seems like this modern progressive family who will be a lot more welcoming to her than her own family is.

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I mean sure if that is important to her! I never was in this situation. I am on Facebook, my husband is nominally on Facebook -joined after we married I think? And I am friends with some of his friends mostly because I know them. His cousins and relatives are also in my family and one reason we are FB connected is because my husband isn't active on FB and this way I can show him the photos. What would it accomplish if your mother friends her - so your SO can see what she posts about on Facebook?

 

I hope she feels much better!!

 

She's starting to feel better today. She's getting her taste/smell back. As far as the Facebook thing, I think she just wants to feel accepted by my family. There's more detail in my longer post above.

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She's starting to feel better today. She's getting her taste/smell back. As far as the Facebook thing, I think she just wants to feel accepted by my family. There's more detail in my longer post above.

 

Yes. I just don't get why adding her on Facebook has anything to do with being "accepted." Hopefully everyone will meet when it's safe and appropriate.

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The talk about Facebook in these last few posts makes me want to reflect a little on some things that have happened to me there. I said earlier that I use it mainly to promote my business, etc, but somehow I still manage to offend people once in a while. Also, a year ago today was one of my most controversial posts ever.

 

I'm about the biggest animal lover out there. I've actually been involved in animal rights activism in the past. I've done a lot of volunteering at shelters and I've had foster animals at my house quite a few times over the years. Yet I've been accused multiple times on Facebook of promoting animal cruelty/being cruel to animals.

 

The post a year ago... It was a video of my two snakes being fed. Snakes eat small rodents. I feed mine frozen mice. It's illegal in my area to buy live feeders. I don't mind this at all because I hate having to feed them live. Frozen mice are usually euthanized first with co2 gas. It's a peaceful death. But anyway, I posted this video of my snakes being fed and was called all kinds of names and told how cruel and disgusting that is, etc. Ok... what do you think snakes eat out in the wild?

 

In the summer of 2019, I was at a festival where there was a stuffed Giraffe's head. That isn't something you see every day. To me, it was something really unique so I posted two pics of it. One was just a pic of it and in the other one, I was standing next to it just to show the scale. People don't realize how long a giraffe's neck really is until you see it in person. Its neck was longer than I am tall. Well, of course, I'm promoting animal cruelty. That's so disgusting, etc. Well, taxidermy is prevalent at this festival and I know the organizers. Everyone who sells taxidermy there has to be able to prove that their animals were ethically sourced. The people who had the Giraffe operate an independent zoo and the Giraffe was in their zoo. It was old and died of natural causes. So I was being called out and having to defend why I posted this pic, why I would even take a pic of myself standing next to it, why did I find it so interesting, etc. I said it was just something rare that you don't see every day. I stood next to it to show scale. And when else am I ever going to see a Giraffe that close up, etc. Well of course that wasn't an acceptable answer. A few people pointed out that a zoo in my state has a thing where you can go and pay to feed a giraffe. So there were comments being made like, "If you want to see a giraffe that close up why not go and pay to interact with a live one at the zoo?" etc. Ok... it's not like it was my ambition in life to see a Giraffe close up and I went to this festival just to see the stuffed Giraffe. It just happened to be there. I don't get to walk around at festivals much when I'm working them. I saw it the night before the festival actually opened to the public while all the vendors were there setting up their booths. To me, it was just something interesting. But I was promoting animal cruelty. Yep...

 

I came home one day about two years ago and there were two live raccoons in the bottom of my trash can. I posted a video of this. The first part of the video was just showing them in the trashcan and I said something like, "Hey guys, how did you get in my trash can?" The last part of the video was my roommate and I letting them out. Well, apparently some of the people who follow me on Facebook weren't patient enough to watch the whole flippin' video because I got cussed at, told I need to be punched in the face, called a psycho, etc. People seemed to think I was just going to let them starve to death in my trashcan. Um no, watch the whole damn video you morons.

 

And even beyond the animal stuff... Facebook is just ridiculous at times. Back in September I went into a restaurant here in my town and had my mask in my pocket. I forgot to put it on when I walked through the door. I took like three steps inside the building and this woman started yelling at me to put a mask on. I reached in my pocket to get my mask and she started really going off, saying stuff like, "You better get away from me until you put a mask on!" I put my mask on and then just turned around and walked right back out. I thought she was an employee. So I thought Ok, if this is the way they treat their customers I'm not giving them my money. So I just left. There's a Facebook group for my town where people post about stuff like this. So I posted about it there. Well the whole thing got so blown out of proportion. Some guy who's finace' works there came onto the post and was like, "This is a lie, it's 100% false and I can even prove it because I have access to the security footage." So I responded and told him Ok, go ahead and watch the footage. It would have been at this time. This is what I was wearing, etc. Well, it turns out the lady who yelled at me was a customer, not an employee. Ok, my mistake. But even after I edited the post and apologized, dude just wouldn't let this go. He went on to tell everyone that I'm a liar and I'm just trying to cause problems for him and his fiance, etc. I was like, "I don't even know you and your fiance. I have nothing to gain by making this up!" He was threatening to sue me, etc. Then I started getting really nasty messages from random people (Coincidentally all of them were on his friends list, I noticed because I looked at their profiles.) People cussing me out, calling me a Karen, etc. Um... a Karen wouldn't have just put her mask on and left. A Karen would have thrown a fit. I couldn't really explain why I thought this person worked there. That was my downfall. It got so bad that I took any reference to my own business off my profile so these people couldn't see it because if dude is having all his little friends send me messages then he would probably also tell them all to go write bad reviews for my business.

 

There is a building in my town that is about 200 years old. And two years ago the city spent a lot of money cleaning/restoring the outside of it. I mean, this was a multi-million dollar project. Well, last summer some protestors spray-painted crudely drawn penises on the side and put F the Government (Misspelled, of course.) I posted a pic of it and said something like, "Wow, did they really think this was going to help?" Well then of course I'm a racist who condones murder. Forgive me but I just don't see how spray painting penises and a misspelled anti-government statement on the side of a historical landmark is going to help fight racism. So I guess that makes me a racist. Wow I might as well just go join the Klan right now, lol.

 

I posted a meme about a guy going to a Halloween party dressed as a nun once. Oh boy... I'm homophobic and transphobic and everything else. Um... I'm a member of the LGBTQ community, of course, I'm not phobic of any of those things.

 

Around election time I posted that people need to stop taking everything to extremes. If you like this guy, you're a white supremacist. If you like this other guy you're a butthurt snowflake. Well, I was called a Fascist. I am not a supporter of our current president. But somehow from that post people assumed I am and I was told that voting for him means death for people like me because I'm disabled and Bisexual. How could I be so stupid!" Uh... I didn't vote for him. My post was not supporting either candidate. I was just saying people need to stop thinking in such extremes. Not all of his supporters are white supremacists. And not everyone who supported the other guy is a butthurt snowflake either. Of course, it wasn't read that way.

 

From now on I'm sticking to business-related stuff and memes. People are crazy. And these are people on my friends list. The girl who accused me of condoning murder is someone I've know for about 12 years. People don't even stop to think about stuff like that. They just see certain words and get hyper-vigilant. I remember back when people used to only be mean online when they were anonymous. Now people are asshats to each other right on Facebook where everyone can see who they are. Oh your post upset me so much that I'm going to rant and rave and throw a fit and call you names. Clearly, it doesn't register that the person being called names is upset about being called names, too.

 

And yet Facebook takes down posts with the word white in them because that can be considered hate speech. I also know someone who got a warning and had her post removed because she said something about Guardian Ad Litems and referred to them as GALS. So she was accused to hate speech toward women.

 

All I can do is shake my head.

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Yes. I just don't get why adding her on Facebook has anything to do with being "accepted." Hopefully everyone will meet when it's safe and appropriate.

 

I can't speak for her. I'm only guessing.

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People are really stupid. Unfortunately, stupid people don't know that they're stupid. And stupid people are attracted to other stupid people. So, stupidity has a snowball effect. Venues like facebook, where people can hide behind a screen, make it easier for people to be stupid without consequence. When you're stupid in person, people check you pretty fast. I am so glad that I shut down my facebook account 7+ years ago. Quitting facebook turned out to be a nice stupidity buffer. I don't listen to the news, either. Hearing about stupidity is irksome, but not as bad as it is to witness it first hand!

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People are really stupid. Unfortunately, stupid people don't know that they're stupid. And stupid people are attracted to other stupid people. So, stupidity has a snowball effect. Venues like facebook, where people can hide behind a screen, make it easier for people to be stupid without consequence. When you're stupid in person, people check you pretty fast. I am so glad that I shut down my facebook account 7+ years ago. Quitting facebook turned out to be a nice stupidity buffer. I don't listen to the news, either. Hearing about stupidity is irksome, but not as bad as it is to witness it first hand!

Amen sister.

 

I would just dump the stupid.

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Amen sister.

 

I would just dump the stupid.

 

I've lost a lot of "friends" over this stuff. The snake post especially. I still can't figure out what was so offensive about that. I get that a lot of people don't like snakes. But even while not liking them. a lot of people are curious about them, how they eat, etc. My former sister in law was enraged over that post and she unfriended and blocked me. Ok this is the same woman who beat the crap out of my sister on more than one occasion when they were still together. Ok, so you beat your girlfriend and you're a terrible parent but I'm the disgusting one for posting a video of my snakes eating. Whatever lady, lol.

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People are really stupid. Unfortunately, stupid people don't know that they're stupid. And stupid people are attracted to other stupid people. So, stupidity has a snowball effect. Venues like facebook, where people can hide behind a screen, make it easier for people to be stupid without consequence. When you're stupid in person, people check you pretty fast. I am so glad that I shut down my facebook account 7+ years ago. Quitting facebook turned out to be a nice stupidity buffer. I don't listen to the news, either. Hearing about stupidity is irksome, but not as bad as it is to witness it first hand!

 

These are mostly people I know. So telling myself stupid people are attracted to stupid people just makes me feel stupid too, lol.

 

Unfortunately, I can't dump it entirely. Pretty much all my print sales are through festivals and shows that I sell at. I occasionally sell an original at a show but it doesn't happen very often. Almost all my originals sell through Facebook. I finish a painting and post it on there, and since I'm friends with all my clients, someone will message me and ask to buy it. Original sales are where the big money is. And most of my commissions are through Facebook also. I get people who ask me for my website, where I sell my work online, etc. All my online sales are through Facebook and Displate. (I sell metal prints on Displate.) So to completely shut it down would mean losing a lot of income.

 

This is why I just keep it mostly about my work anymore. I don't really post anything personal because I'm sick of being attacked.

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Z and I are both feeling a lot better today. In fact, we've been cleaning the house off and on throughout the day. With us being sick all last week certain things were let go, dirty dishes piled up, etc.

 

Now our other roommate L thinks she has it. She went and stayed at her BF's house last night and I guess she woke up feeling really sick this morning, and she messaged me asking, "Hey when you started getting it is this how it felt?" And she described exactly how I felt when I first got it. And she's a heavy smoker. Z smokes too, but Z is a really light smoker, like a couple of cigarettes a day. L is about a pack a day smoker. (Boy is that a habit I don't miss. I've been almost 11 years smoke-free and I'm so glad I was able to quit...) But with L being a smoker that might make it a lot harder for her. My biggest concern now is K, her son, my nephew. She and I aren't biological sisters, but we've been friends for 20 years, we've lived together for about 4 years now. I don't care about blood. He's my nephew. He is only here about half the time because her and her ex co-parent. But he was here all day Thursday and Friday. Hopefully he doesn't catch it. And hopefully L doesn't give it back to Z and I. Some sources say once you've had it you're immune. Others say that isn't true. I don't think anyone really knows at this point.

 

I know I feel better now than I did before getting sick. A week of rest can do wonders. I can't wait to go back to the gym. I miss working out.

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These are mostly people I know. So telling myself stupid people are attracted to stupid people just makes me feel stupid too, lol.

 

Unfortunately, I can't dump it entirely. Pretty much all my print sales are through festivals and shows that I sell at. I occasionally sell an original at a show but it doesn't happen very often. Almost all my originals sell through Facebook. I finish a painting and post it on there, and since I'm friends with all my clients, someone will message me and ask to buy it. Original sales are where the big money is. And most of my commissions are through Facebook also. I get people who ask me for my website, where I sell my work online, etc. All my online sales are through Facebook and Displate. (I sell metal prints on Displate.) So to completely shut it down would mean losing a lot of income.

 

This is why I just keep it mostly about my work anymore. I don't really post anything personal because I'm sick of being attacked.

 

Well, you don't strike me as the kind of person who makes thoughtless, cruel, and judgmental comments about other people. Certainly, it's your business and up to you about how you choose to run things. But speaking for myself, it's too high a cost to lay myself open to a hater, to justify or excuse their inappropriateness, just so they buy my art. No cash money is enough for that, in my opinion. Anyway, I think the best move in either case is what you are starting to do, which is keep the personal side out of it. Far better to remain neutral and impersonal with business, anyway.

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Well, you don't strike me as the kind of person who makes thoughtless, cruel, and judgmental comments about other people. Certainly, it's your business and up to you about how you choose to run things. But speaking for myself, it's too high a cost to lay myself open to a hater, to justify or excuse their inappropriateness, just so they buy my art. No cash money is enough for that, in my opinion. Anyway, I think the best move in either case is what you are starting to do, which is keep the personal side out of it. Far better to remain neutral and impersonal with business, anyway.

 

I can see it from both sides. Every single person who follows me on there isn't a client. I've never had a client get nasty with me on there either.

 

Some of the most critical people alive are art school professors. They are critical for a reason. Artists need to be prepared to have people hate their work. If I post a painting and someone says, "Wow that sucks." I got absolutely torn to shreds when I had my first gallery show. That doesn't bother me in the slightest. If nothing else it helps me improve as an artist. And a bad reaction is better than no reaction. But when I post a video of two raccoons in the my trashcan and I'm told what a disgusting human being I am and I need punched in the face, it's hard to not take that personally. And I take stuff like that personally because I feel insulted that people actually think I would do that and have the audacity to videotape it and post it. Like what the hell kind of person do you think I am? And also, the people I've known for over a decade who just suddenly think I'm a racist. Like, in all the years you've known me, have you ever seen me be a racist? Idk... if you care about animals, go do something to actually help animals. (Like I have.) If you want to fight racism, volunteer with the NAACP or something. Don't sit and yell at someone online because they commented on the vandalism of a building. Being a keyboard warrior rarely accomplishes anything.

 

My ex used Facebook for business too, but he took it to the extreme and really bugged people. He was doing several live streams a day where he just showed the product and tried to get people to buy it. He is talented. I won't lie. His work is nice. But it's really overpriced in my opinion. He's a leatherworker and he sells really small leather bags (like think pocket size) for $30+. He would get on there and do a live stream and be like, "Look at this bag I just finished." And then if someone commented that it was nice or something he would just immediately start pressuring them to buy it. He's a pushy salesman. And it got to the point where a lot of people were just ignoring him because he was basically spamming. He wondered how I could sell so much online when he was struggling. Well because I don't pressure people. If someone wants one of my works, they'll buy it.

 

I'm going on way too long here. Bottom line is Facebook can be a great tool for a business owner. But it can go south, too. I don't plan on deactivating. I just don't post much personal stuff anymore.

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That's so wonderful that you are both on the upswing.

That's really sweet, hearing you talk about K. It's so nice having that kind of connection.

 

Yea. I adore that kid. He's my little K-Monster. I've gotten a couple weird looks out in public when I call him that. But he got that nickname by pretending to be a monster a lot, so... I got him a bunch of acrylic paint and brushes and some canvases for Christmas because he always wants to paint when he's here and I'm painting. He's got some talent.

 

Unfortunately he's also got some serious problems with anxiety. L has him on Prozac. That wouldn't have been my choice, but he's not my child. I told her she should get him into some counseling. He's scared that trees are going to fall on the house. He's scared when him and L are downstairs and he can hear me walking around upstairs. He's scared the leaky dishwasher is going to flood the house and we're all going to drown. He's 7. This should be the happiest time of his life. He was scared last week when Z was taking a shower. I don't know why her taking a shower scared him but it did. Whenever he's scared I always try to talk him through it. I will ask him why he's scared. Then I explain to him that whatever he's scared of isn't anything to be scared of. Like, the dishwasher can't leak so much water that it kills us all. It's physically impossible, etc. I also tell him if he wasn't safe in this house he wouldn't be here. If this house wasn't safe we would all leave and go live somewhere else, etc. This is a 120-year-old house. Nothing has destroyed it yet. Talking to him like that seems to help.

 

Z and I actually kissed for the first time in over a week today. After a while of not being able to kiss her today when she kissed me I got that weak in the knees feeling that you get the first time you kiss someone. It was awesome. I'm so glad she's in my life.

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