qanju Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 summary - 18 month relationship, broke up due to trust issues, she said she loved me but couldn't be with me because she didn't trust me. 3 days later she got into a relationship fast with her old ex that barely lasted a few months (2-3), and stated that she loved him after a week. and just simply stopped talking to me, so i played along with the no contact for about 19 days, the text was; 'Hey..how are you?' oddly enough soon after i got a few comments from girls from a facebook photo..that i'v been dating (i havn't got her added, but she can see my profile pics and comments, so im assuming..) I didn't reply right away, i replied in two days saying 'I'm good, thanks I'm not sure if she is still with him or not, as i havn't checked up on her at all. I can say that i don't really feel any pain anymore from the breakup, due to meeting many new girls and having some dates lined up and becoming a bit happier being single, however i still feel like i do love her, and would like her back. Its been a few days since i text that back, and she hasn't pushed it forward, should i have? or carry on no contact? i was thinking of maybe texting, 'hey, how you been too, you got that new job yet?' or something along the lines, or is that a bad idea? Link to comment
Mellie Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 Do you really want to reconcile after all that? Link to comment
mrwebcam Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 I would just let it be. Shows how much she cares for you after moving on so quickly.Your so better of to ignore her messages,most likely an ego boost for her. Enjoy the dating scene and your eyes will open up more clearly that your better off without her and their is someone better and who will treat you with respect. I would make your settings private so she can't see anything, she lost that privilege. Link to comment
qanju Posted July 18, 2011 Author Share Posted July 18, 2011 Hmm, we both did our part of ruining the relationship (lying/useless arguements), but i really do think she's confused, and honestly she's using this guy to GET over me, since she said she did want to be with me but it had hurt her too much. My eyes have gotten clearer, i'v got girls taking me out to places haha, so yeh i am kind of enjoying it, however i still do think about her on a daily basis, since we did have something special. I don't really feel bitter anymore or depressed about the breakup, where i was a few weeks ago incredibly. But honestly, the reason i want to reconcile, is that because we shared so much together and i know where we did wrong, unnessasary clingy and neediness from both sides. I really do love her, but that isn't going to stop me living my life/moving on if need be, should i open friendly contact if i wish to reconcile? or stick to no contact till she contacts me again? thank you for answers btw Link to comment
Mellie Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 If you want her back for those reasons not just the kick of getting her back (it's hard to separate them and I've made that mistake before) - if you really are cool as a cucumber and can handle it if it's a road to nowhere - then I wouldn't initiate anything but follow the standard advice. If she comes back again be light and friendly but don't talk about the relationship etc. You sound like you're in a fairly good place to handle it but am I reading it wrong? Is it only 21 days since you split? If you were crazy about her I'd expect you to be just about lifting your face out of the puddle, not doing a jig with a bunch of hot birds. But we're all different - maybe you're more logical about this than me. Good luck. Link to comment
ngu11 Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 My man, listen to yourself and ignore the negativity. She got with her ex 3 days after you? Geez...this isn't a rebound? Of course it is...it's called blocking the pain and not dealing with the break up...so now she's beginning to crack. They all do! Are you really bothered about her doing this? I mean she hasn't cheated on you...forgiveness is so much more pleasurble than pride. If you want her...and you want a REAL adult relationship with her...seems like now is your time to start working your plan. I'm glad you're out dating and what not but the fact you're on here and posting tells me you're not over your ex and she's very much not over you. Doesn't mean you're going to get back together but you have as good a chance as any if you can live for the future and not dwell on he did/she did. I see so many opportunities screwed up because of self pride and insecurity. Texting back was ok...but what did you reply and how quickly did you reply? Link to comment
qanju Posted July 18, 2011 Author Share Posted July 18, 2011 Well basically we were in limbo mode for a month after we broke up, sort of on/off acting like a couple, still having sex etc. Her saying "i love you, i want you, your my everything", then it stopped and 3 days later her saying "don't wait for me, i found someone else". I thought it may of gotten better within the month but it didn't. That's where i started NC asap when she got with him and its been about 3 weeks, she had text me that about 5 days ago and i replied 2 days after she had text. I Had deleted her from facebook/msn, i said i would want no contact, to help us both move on. So she knew there was no contact and decided to text me. I simply replied that i am well, thanks. As i think not replying at all may make her think i feel angry/bitter towards her. But im not entirely sure on my plan, should i start up a convo first or let her, since i didn't really return any questions and she had. thanks Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.