Why is he doing this?

[HE16]

I'm really curious as to why my ex seems to be contacting me. Well, I wouldn't even call it contacting!

 

Three weeks after the BU He stopped talking to me. I'm not sure why, I think he had been looking for an excuse to stop and he never got one since I was always civil with him so he just stopped. he was the dumper I had been expecting it anyway. But we ran into each other in town and he pretty much ignored my existence. That night he put some angry stuff on Facebook, the next day sent me a horrible email (see previous posts) and his blog updates were quite cruel towards me. It just mademe angry since he didn't have the guts to say any of it to my face, lol. The next week I unblocked him so he could see my online status on msn. He immediately sent me a text saying he didn't want to be friends and to give a jumper to charity - I'd already given away the clothes, which he knew, and we hadn't spoken nor seen each other for three weeks bar the run-in in town, so I had got the message!

 

I hadn't responded or retaliated to any of his little outbursts to or about me. Yesterday, every time I signed in to the IM we both use he would sign out and sign back in - so I got a notification that he was online. If it had happened once or twice I'd say it as coincidence but it was practically every time.

 

Last night I got an anonymous ask on Tumblr. The ask was lyrics - "I hate to have to say it but you looked so fragile as I * * * * ed with your head." Or something like that. bit weird, yes, and it's one of my ex's favourite songs (Papa Roach, I think!) and he had posted them on his blog that morning (broke NC by looking at his blog to check. It was my friends who told me about his FB updates) so I'd be surprised to find it was anyone but him!

 

I know I'm probably reading into it too much, I just find it odd that he is still doingthings like this six weeks after leaving me for someone else. It all seems to be very bitter and immature - I thought I was meant to be the one with angry feelings who hated my ex?!

[MrEnigma]

From a dude's perspective, he's trying to read you. What I mean by that is, he has no idea what your feeling. So he's trying to get a reaction out of all the nonsense he's doing. Off that reaction he wants to know if your sad, angry, depressed, etc. He maybe feeling regret, guilt, or may still care but only person who knows is him until he says something. Its a psych thing after BUs. So the BU is easier for them. As for him not talking to you, could be many factors. He could be doing it to give you space, or the other chick is preventing it, or he can be guilt ridden.

 

I'm in the same boat as you. I tried being civil and I don't hate my ex. She has it out for me now haha. Even though I've done nothing to her. Same thing as you, act civil and respectable. Funny thing is I'm still crazy for her even though she inflicted a ton of pain.

[HE16]

That's what I thought it would be, but I didn't want to read too much into it! I never gave him any kind of response to it - thankfully. I'm not sure what I should do now if he does something like that again.

 

I doubt he's doing it to give me space - he won't be doing it for my benefit, lol. If it's anything I'd agree and say it's his new gf... Strangely enough the fact that he doesn't want to ever be friends doesn't bother me very much.

 

Exactly the same! If he started talking to me again I'd most likely fall for it, hook line and sinker. Although I would definitely have to think twice about being friends with him. I know that it isn't possible, but that's his choice I guess! It's so immature, acting like this, especially if the dumpee has done nothing to provoke it. Not going to lie though, it does make me feel slightly better that he's being this pathetic. Shows me why I should be glad we're not together anymore.

[Even Flow]

your answer was in your first few words--he's your ex. he owes no obligation to you. he doesn't need to contact you.

 

you should just move on.

[cheech1981]

It sounds like he is trying very hard to get your attention, and obviously not in a good way. I would be careful also...I'm not sure if he is just trying to make you made or if he is trying to get you to respond negatively yourself (and you have done great not to do that). I'm not sure what he would do with the information if you sent him an angry email or text, but I wouldn't do anything just in case. Whatever his motivations, they certainly don't sound like a good or desirable thing to have around you.

 

Since you said that it doesn't bother you that you don't want to get back together with him or even be friends, I would unfriend him from all of your accounts, take him off your IM or block him, and block or filter his e-mails directly to the trash. If you're not ready to completely block him, you could at least take him off your list (for IM) so that you don't notice him coming on and off, because him signing on and off is just drawing attention to him (which he clearly wants for whatever reason). At least, if it were me, I'd rather have no contact than a lot of negative contact, and I've been in a situation where my ex was bothering me online and it took me a while but I finally just cut her off. In the end it was the best in the long run (I think for both of us).

 

Regardless, good luck!

[MrEnigma]

My exes version of space was to be a * * * * * to me and try to make me hate her. So in her words I can get over her and we can be friends. That did not work out what so friggin ever. Like I said its a stupid psych thing dumpers do. Yeah its a good thing your fine with not being friends. The poor and stupid things he is committing. Sounds like he's extremely childish.

 

Yes, its god awfully child like the things dumpers do after BUs. Isn't more of the dumpees right to possibly go postal after a BU, well not postal but irrational. Yet they play games and act like they are the dumpees hahah. It is pretty pathetic, tells you there's someone defiantly better down the rode.

[magnoliatree]

He is doing it because he is a cowardly chump. Ignore him.