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I think I might be getting to the point of admitting to myself that I'm bi? :-/

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I'm a 22 year old woman. My first "crush" on a woman was in 6th grade, around the age of 12. My first crush on a guy was in kindergarten (age 5). So granted, I have been attracted to men far longer than women. These days, I find myself physically attracted to both equally - the only difference is that I'm willing admit to others that I think a guy is "hot." But if I see a "hot" woman, I will keep it to myself.


I'm not comfortable with the idea of being bi, as my family doesn't approve of that sort of stuff and they would probably disown me. Maybe I'm really not bi, maybe just curious. I don't know.


Would I be intimate with another woman? I don't know. I tell myself "no" and that it's "disgusting." However, while I have always found numerous women physically attractive, there have only been two that I thought about in more than a "she looks good" type manner.


The first was about two years ago - I was about 20, she was about 17. It got to the point that I was thinking about her when I'd lay down in bed at night, and I couldn't wait to hear from her. I never had any sexual thoughts of her, just thoughts of holding, hugging, kissing, that sort of stuff.


Now there's this most recent girl. She's the same age as me. I have not had sexual thoughts of her either, just the same type of 'emotional' (holding, hugging, kissing) thoughts that I had about the previous girl.


Given the chance, I'd date a woman I felt an emotional connection to. I'd do all the stuff with her that a regular couple would do. Except, the intimacy part... that's an uncertainty. I say no, but who knows?


Anyways, I don't really know what to think. It's confusing for me. My family would kill me, people would be disgusted with me.

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I'd suggest taking a look at the Kinsey scale.


As for being bisexual... whether this is something that you are okay with morally is up to you, and I know religion can play a factor. I could tell you that there's nothing wrong with it (and I firmly don't believe there is), but the person you need to make peace with is yourself.

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