First Love holding me back?

[Leya]

Hi there,

 

Okay, so backstory - my first true love was a guy I will call Dave....I met him in my early 20's and I fell head over heels with him. We were together for 6 years. I loved and adored him...our chemistry was through the roof. I even moved in with him together after a couple of years. We rarely fought, we just got along very well together. BUT...he worked a job that required evenings and weekends (lots of overtime)...and then on top of that he wanted to do his boys' poker nights, as well as golf every saturday, AND he was a member of THREE hockey leagues, as well as his other hobbies. Which clearly left little time for him to spend time with me. He didn't seem to make me a priority. He even once told me I was "spackle"...meaning IF he happen to have time between all his hobbies, he would spackle me in. That was very very hurtful!!! I clearly was NOT a priority to him.

We ended up breaking up....I was not happy with his lack of devotion...and he was not happy with MY not being happy...and also not agreeing with his view that he was the "perfect boyfriend". His previous girllfriend told him he was the "perfect" boyfriend and it went to his head. He was actually very arrogant and was always going on how he "deserved" this, that and the other. He ended up having an emotional affair with some girl at his work, and then...essentially left me for her. He didnt even TRY to fix "us". I wanted to...but he was already checked out and in to her.

This left me heart broken and devastated. And he ended up marrying the girl he had had the emotional affair with. Which just added salt to the wound...

Moving on...I actually DID meet the "perfect" boyfriend. He is everything I want in a boyfriend and more...so much better than Dave! I love him so much and I want to spend my life with him, no question. He. Is. Amazing. And no major issues!

 

But yet, I STILL find myself thinking about Dave!!!!!!! Why? WIll I ever get over him?? Stop thinking about him??? I am SO very annoyed that I am still thinking about Dave...and I am SURE he has not thought about me for years. And again, I LOVE my current guy and am happy to spend my life with him...but yet why am I STILL thinking about Dave???? Given the choice between the two,I would chose the current guy, hands down. But yet WHY am I still thinking about Dave????

[The_Seeker]

I know how you feel. I sometimes stuck on my first love but I kept on going on dates and keeping myself busy and meeting new people.

 

You've been with the guy for 6 years. So it's going to take a while forget about your first love. Listen to music like Beyonce "The Best I never had."

 

You need to keep yourself busy as well and don't just wait around.

 

Maybe the reason you weren't happy was because he wasn't spending enough time and you didn't have hobby of your own. That's where my mistake was. I had hobbies and he wasn't spending enough time. But I always seem to be available for him.

 

So now lesson learned, I tried to do the things I like in my future dates and relationships. Because I never know if I will end up with a person or alone.

 

Hopefully you do have hobbies that keeps you occupy.

 

Good luck!

[Stay_home]

Old love never goes away.