helovesmeyes Posted July 17, 2011 Share Posted July 17, 2011 Hey guys, I will make a long story short, and just write that my ex boyfriend broke up with me last summer because of incompatibility/insecurity issues. I tried for months and months to win him back to no avail. I became the person he wanted all along in our relationship and nothing really changed our status. He would miss me and we would get close for a few weeks, then he's back to cold and unreachable. Also, he gets really jealous if men flirt with or talk to me, but has no problem showing up to events with another woman (whom I think he is now dating) knowing it would get to me. I also overheard him saying some really terrible things about me and caught him in a few lies. So after about a year of trying, pain, false hope, and now wondering about this man's character I am truly giving up and finding peace for myself. I am initiating no contact today as a means to heal, and if he decides he does want to have a relationship with me he will let me know that, but for now I am counting on being single and just really letting go of false hope. I deserve better, and so do many of you Link to comment
learning2relax Posted July 17, 2011 Share Posted July 17, 2011 Yes you do. It is one heck of a hard lesson to learn the reasons and benefits of not staying in touch with your ex. It isn't what you want to hear or accept in the beginning but it is a symptom of denial. It is the best you can do for yourself to get yourself back. Going for the quick fix of reconciling to end the pain and suffering you feel when rejected is extremely risky. It typically does not stick and in the end you have prolonged your agony equal the time that you stayed in denial about not contacting them and focusing your attention on yourself. You tack on to the duration of healing by the exact number of days that you put yourself though this by contacting them. It is really hard at first - as you are aware. It really does get better. You just have to be strong to get over when it is overwhelming. You really can continue breathing and your heart beating if you don't connect with them. It can feel like you are going to die but you won't. It starts to get better from there. You just have to stick with it and to it and take all the attention you have been putting into getting them back and focus in on what you need. You need you more right now than he does. And you deserve it more too. Link to comment
helovesmeyes Posted July 17, 2011 Author Share Posted July 17, 2011 I really appreciate your support and reply I feel very optimistic for myself, but a little nauseous because of the lies that were revealed to me these past few days... honestly though, through divine intervention. It's like the universe was telling me OK you don't want to let go, here's why you have to let go. Again I appreciate your comment. Link to comment
Luigi68 Posted July 17, 2011 Share Posted July 17, 2011 I got to the point where I told myself my ex couldnt hurt me any more. So whatever else came out it didnt matter because I had had the hurt already. This worked as I have just found out that she had cheated on me when she went away on holiday and also had been seeing my mate for 6 months rather than the 6 weeks she told me - Finding this out didnt matter to me as I could be hurt no more - it is her loss and although we remain friends I dont text or call, just respond to hers which are every other day on average. I am moving on and believe in time she will realise what she lost and when she tries to get it back she wont beacause it's gone! Stay strong, be true to yourself and life will pick up Link to comment
helovesmeyes Posted July 17, 2011 Author Share Posted July 17, 2011 Wow Luigi68 you have been through a lot, good for you for staying strong! I feel the same way! I don't want him back even when he does return for romance lol. Its too late, he had a year to recognize what was in front of him. I'm kicking him off the pedestal and placing him on the back burner. A self assured lady has just come to town and she ain't leaving lol. Day 1 and he contacts me (calls and texts). I do not reply of course. On to day two! Link to comment
LaKings55 Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 Good for you. If you ever get the urge to try to contact him, just come here. This is one of the few places I can come where I'm not just met with "get over it" Link to comment
ceezane Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 im @ three weeks. she didnt even want to talk to me (i had to force her to talk to me). now she's texting me (i havent responded) and she called me today (completely ignored it). =) Link to comment
helovesmeyes Posted July 18, 2011 Author Share Posted July 18, 2011 Thank you Lakings55 I will Ceezane that's awesome how long are to doing NC for? Until you are over her? I broke NC last night to answer his call. I needed closure on something, and I got it So NC day 1 starts today for me. Link to comment
helovesmeyes Posted July 19, 2011 Author Share Posted July 19, 2011 Day 2 of no contact. He called me a few times today. I am thinking "for what?" I am not trying to be mean but what could "you" possibly want? I missed him for a second and then remembered that terrible feeling I never want to feel again. Link to comment
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