I'm too passive to call my boyfriend

[ashley001]

My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 months now and it's been great, he's 21, I'm 20. Basically, I never call my boyfriend, he's always the one to call me first and the only time I ever call him is to call him back. I'm not doing this because I believe 'the man should call the girl first everytime', absolutely not at all do I believe that. I just am, for lack of a better word, scared to call him. We don't have a problem talking in person. I just am scared that I'll call him at a bad time, or interrupt what he's doing, or that I simply just don't have anything to say and it'll be a super boring conversation (I'm not much a talkative person in the first place). I've just never been the kind of person to pick up the phone and say, "Hey! What's up!" I always feel like I need to call with a purpose. But now it's starting to become a problem, or at least i can tell it bothers my boyfriend. What do I do? How can I muster up the courage or change my mindset so I'll be more comfortable calling him?

[Irial]

I know exactly how you feel. I have felt the same way before. You should talk about this with him and explain why you are acting the way you are. Also, why don't you try and start by texting him first? A text is less invasive than a call so whatever he's doing it won't be a great interruption.

 

See it this way: what if he called you at a bad time? Would you mind that much? I think not. I think you'd just tell him that you're busy at the moment and that you'll call back later or that he can call you back later. It wouldn't seem like a big deal, would it? The same thing would apply to the reverse situation. Just realize it is OK for him to be busy while you call, so don't get sad if he tells you that he'll have to call you back because he can't talk, or if he doesn't pick up the phone right away. It doesn't really mean he doesn't want to talk to you or that you bothered him, it just means that he's busy and that he can't talk at that moment. It's nothing personal

 

I'm sure he doesn't care WHAT you say when you call, he just wants to feel like you think of him and care about him. I've been where you are now with my own boyfriend and I am just starting to get over it. I am learning to text him first (it took a lot of effort just to be able to send a "good morning" text to him every day!) and I am learning to take initiative a little more. I am afraid he won't like it, yes. But then what if he doesn't? It's not a big deal. He just won't answer then. He's not forced to answer anyways, so the worst that can happen is that he doesn't reply but I know he read the message so all I wanted to achieve (him feeling I'm thinking about him) is taken care of. Just fake to be nonchalant about it, it'll come naturally for you eventually at least it's working for me! I'm super shy, even. I'm sure you'll figure it out too!