my ex sent me this today,what do you think?

[allisoncash]

I have been sitting in front of my computer for 2 hours and nothing I write seems to make much sense.

I have for the 3rd time deleted everything I wrote to start again. If I carry on like this, they'll find my skeleton

 

in 20 years time, starved and with a half-written message to a miss allison bennett.

 

 

 

 

So why have I had so much difficulty expressing myself, I wish I could say emphatically but I can't. I do however

 

know that it is important that I express as much of it as I possibly can. For you, but also for me.

 

 

 

 

A few years ago, I was in love with someone. It didn't work out as this things rarely do, but I took away two important

 

things from it.

 

 

 

 

1) The simple thing that made me unafraid to let myself go to someone is knowing that they accept every part of me

 

both the bits they understand and the bits they don't. That they accept who I am with my friends and who I am with them

 

alone. That they enjoyed the boy in me as well as the grown-up man. I know it seems intuitive, but this one quality is the

 

one thing I have found the rarest in people. Everyone seems to want to pick and chose which bit they like and which they

 

want to change about their lovers.

 

 

 

 

2) The 2nd thing I took away was that to be able to have a successful relationship you can't compromise your dreams

 

or you'll end up hating the one you are with.

 

 

 

 

So what do any of this have to do with you? Well, you came along and you did just that. You didn't judge me, you didn't argue

 

with me, you didn't pick one side of me and not the other sides. You just seemed to completely accept me and that scared

 

me. I found myself wanting to have you around all the time and I found myself fighting that. On nights when you weren't in

 

my bed, I 'd find it difficult to go to bed early and when I eventually did, I'd wake up trying to find you. I went to my friend's

 

house in England, with his beautiful kids and their dog and horses and all I could think was how much I'd want to share that with you.

 

 

 

 

I spent days with you which even today, all I need to do is close my eyes and I can remember every single detail of the time we passed. What you were wearing, what you looked like, your smile, your face, what you did. I fell for you when I wasn't looking for someone to love and I was heartbroken because I knew I wasn't ready to be with you.

 

 

 

 

Am not sure any of my ramblings make any sense, I am sorry if they don't. And I am sorry if they cause you more hurt. If I

 

could go back and change things, I don't regret that we developed the feelings that we did. I do regret that we were both fighting with this thing which we couldn't express to each other. I don't know if it would have been better but I know that these are the things I have been struggling to tell you for a very looooong time.

[ldes20976]

Wow, from what I read it sounds as if you guys were in a relationship but it's ended as he didn't feel that he could commit at that time??

I fell for you when I wasn't looking for someone to love and I was heartbroken because I knew I wasn't ready to be with you.

 

But the letter doesn't seem to have a purpose, i.e he isn't asking to talk or to get back together, although it is clear that he really still has strong feelings for you.

 

Am not sure any of my ramblings make any sense, I am sorry if they don't. And I am sorry if they cause you more hurt.

 

Obviously I don't know the full story but if you think you'd want to reconcile with him this may be his way of telling you. If you don't want to get back with him I'd ignore it or send a polite reply something along the lines of yeah you had good times together but realise it wasn't the right time.

[allisoncash]

Wow, from what I read it sounds as if you guys were in a relationship but it's ended as he didn't feel that he could commit at that time??

 

But the letter doesn't seem to have a purpose, i.e he isn't asking to talk or to get back together, although it is clear that he really still has strong feelings for you.

 

 

 

Obviously I don't know the full story but if you think you'd want to reconcile with him this may be his way of telling you. If you don't want to get back with him I'd ignore it or send a polite reply something along the lines of yeah you had good times together but realise it wasn't the right time.

 

Well thank you so much ldes, i thought the same thing as you but the fact that my emotions where running all over the place...

Well its a weird story we met online,we where both ONLY looking for sex-buddies and i fell in love.

I woke one morning and told him face to face that had feelings for him, he said that he wasnt there yet!wasnt sure he was going to still b in Paris for good,blabla.. so i just pulled away bit by bit in order to protect myself.I was hurt,sad.It got so bad,he would invite me to great places to spend time together but i would either decline or if i went i wasnt completely there and oviously he wasnt invited into my world.It was a relief when he just stop answering my messages - 2 months of silence - So two days ago i just sent i small email with everything i had to say,it was a healthy way for me to move on since he didnt directly dump me. But then i got this MAIL! This guy has such a hard time talking/shy..I thank u 4 your reply which i found helpfull especially the last part,i will reflect on it.