How do I go about 'acquiring' a girlfriend?..

[Dawkins]

Well, hi I guess; I'm new here.

 

Anyway, I'm 18, will be 19 in December and I've never had a girlfriend, kissed a girl, hugged, anything. Now that I think about it, I've pretty much avoided any form of extended conversation with girls.

 

I am generally a shy person, but I don't really have any problems when it comes to chatting to people. No social anxiety or the such-like. It's been rather difficult over the past 2 years, 'cause I had to quit college for medical reasons. I need to have some surgery done, but I'll be back (hopefully) next year and I want to change things.

 

I'm not really shallow or anything, going after only looks. Several girls who I've been interested in would probably be considered not very attractive to people I know. Obviously that's subjective though. I'm really just too much of a massive coward to do anything about it. If I could skip the face-to-face step of asking someone out, I'm sure I'd have it much easier, which moves on to my question.

 

Would online dating be advisable for someone like me? I signed up on OkCupid and I've already seen some interesting peeps on there who I'd like to get to know. Don't know whether it's a good idea though.

 

/end stupid post.

[chitown9]

Probably would be better to meet someone when you return to college because you are more likely to meet someone in college in one of your classes. There are many events sponsored at the college and clubs also that you can join in with the people there share the same interests as you do. Dating sites are pretty much hit and miss IMO....chi

[Kitkat973]

The internet can be a good step, but so can real life. I personally think that finding people with similar interests is the first step to finding a compatible partner.

[ALM]

I agree with KitKat; look for someone with similar interests.

 

My advice is to try and meet people in a more casual manner, not trying to look for a friend but not looking for a girlfriend. The girl I am talking to, we never really have called each other friends. We are both interested in each other and are getting to know each other; difficult to explain. Get to know them as a person you're interested in rather than a friend; this is what I did with the girl I am talking to know and things are turning out great. I'm not saying don't be friendly, I'm saying not to try to become the girl's friend. You should still be there for them and support them, but don't try to be the one they go straight to every time. You should still get them to confide in you, just don't try to get them to go straight to you; they will eventually start going right to you with their problems of the day or week, which is a good thing.

 

If you ever get the thought "the crap guys get the girls, good guys swept under the rug" keep in mind that the crap guys are being mistook for confident, independent guys rather than the cocky, arrogant, neglectful * * * * * s they really are. Keep in mind that you are a good guy and that it is the girl's loss if they reject you; do not take rejection personally because they do NOT know you personally. If they weren't willing to get to know you before rejecting you, then they weren't worth your time.

[pinkfrangipani]

nawww I'm 18 too and regretfully have had one boyfriend and been kissed by him. I wish I only had've had one love in my life...

I'm super shy too and not very social, heaps conservative and have incredibly old fashioned views!... but I'd say avoid online dating sites... this may sound crazy but imagine saying to your parents or even future kids "we met online" haha. I'd say start a new hobby - that way you may meet the girl of your dreams there, and instantly already have a common interest.

Also, asking someone out face-to-face I would imagine would be so nerve-wrecking, although I can assure you the girl would appreciate it so much more. If it's the right girl, then you'll feel good about doing it

[Dawkins]

If only that was true. I've missed several opportunities already and I can't just stop being a useless coward like that.

[Nekki7]

If only that was true. I've missed several opportunities already and I can't just stop being a useless coward like that.

 

I felt like a coward once before as well. You really have to weigh out your feelings. What help me overcome my shyness is, I asked myself, what hurts more? liking someone hoping she will in return one day? ( this can go on for moths, or even years) or just take that chance, and if rejected I will only hurt for a few days. Keep in mind, I'm not saying go up to a random girl and ask her out. take some time to get to know the other person, and if you find her interesting, ask her out. Like I said, I'd rather get it over with quick and hurt less.

[dali]

Search "buy girlfriend" in google and see what comes up... Your only 19 so it's pretty good that you know you have to stop being shy.

[Dawkins]

So erm... Where do I even begin?

 

Do people even do the whole dating thing in college, or do they skip that? I don't even understand young people, despite being one.

[dali]

College is the great period in your life, don't waste it. Talk to as many girls as possible, build friendships, get into some arts/humanities clubs or extra curricular activities. Just get out there my son.

 

Sure you can date if thats what you want, but college is a time for experimentation so you may not want and keep things casual. Oh btw I'd delete your internet dating account , your 19 and don't need it to meet girls.

[Stay_home]

It's all about experience, you have to get yourself out there a little bit more and try to work on just being more socially comfortable. Believe me, we weren't all born that way, it takes a little work but you'll get it.

[Dawkins]

It's not the talking/social part that's the problem. If I liked a girl and wanted to ask her out, I wouldn't even know where to start without looking like a complete tool.