pinkfrangipani Posted July 15, 2011 Share Posted July 15, 2011 Boyfriend says he still loves me and always will but dumped me saying he has to focus on work and his career atm. He says he wants me to move on and experience life and enjoy being single, even date other guys. He says he's leaving us to fate and if we get back together "it's meant to be", despite saying to me "you are the best thing in my life" and that "I know deep down in my heart that you are the one for me" and ever since the beginning he's said he wanted to marry me. we dated for 7months, he was my first boyfriend and first kiss. i'm 18 and he's 25. we didn't sleep together and I'm just lost, he was my everything i'm in so much pain! he says he would still be with me if it weren't for his financial mess atm, but that we can't be together because our dramas/arguments are always "my fault" from my "lack of life experiences" having lived quite a "sheltered life", and that it's too hard for him with work stress etc I don't know what to think. is he over me but letting me down lightly????? has he moved on so wants me to move on by finding a rebound/dating others? is he over me but trying not to hurt me by leaving me with false hope???? or does he legit want me around for later? he said so many times "if we get back together" etc and i had a card & present to give him for 7months but didn't get the chance to see him, he kept putting it off, I want to give it to him to seek closure for me, but he says he doesn't want the closure and he has something for me but wants to give it to me "if we get back together" and then "it will mean so much more having held onto it" I just don't get it and I know he has many other girls interested in him, he's a bit narcissistic and loves the attention. He's very social and I'm not, but i can't figure out why he'd say he loves me, then dumps me, and tells me to date other guys, move on from him, and continually mention the possibility of getting back together again? What am i to do? how do you move on from a breakup/true love... I've never had to before he essentially dumped me saying that he still had feelings... is it stupid or worth trying to save this? how long should i leave it/give him space? thank you so much! any advice/stories/girls or boy's perspectives on what he's thinking, would be so appreciated. thank you thank you thank you please help! anything!!! thank you Link to comment
u4me Posted July 15, 2011 Share Posted July 15, 2011 Sorry, but if he wanted to be with you, he would be with you. Let him go down the road - alone! It's not your job to stroke his ego. Cease ALL contact. Fate can't operate without his participation. Link to comment
TwelveThirty Posted July 16, 2011 Share Posted July 16, 2011 No worries. Not all is lost. On the other hand, what he gave you is in my opinion very good advice. So please go with it. If it can help you a bit understand his point of view: I think that our society is very fragile to stress. You, with less experience, are wondering what is your next thing to do. You are still hesitant and it's not a good face to hold when dealing with tough situations. Confidence always pays off and he's just demonstrating that he has enough to move through this hard passage of his when he has the burden of high financial difficulties. And he doesn't want to be seen as unsupportive, careless or irresponsible while he acts maturely towards his problems. So please take exemple in his action and do the same and meet him again when the right time comes! Go ahead, fly! Link to comment
Stay_home Posted July 16, 2011 Share Posted July 16, 2011 When someone really wants to be a part of your life, they will be. They will make time for their career, but they also will make time for you. Based on some of the things said by him, it seems as if he's really trying to push you out of the door. Quite frankly, I think that's the best direction to head in. Keep walking because it doesn't seem like he's really trying to make the space for you to be in his life. Link to comment
frogprincess Posted July 17, 2011 Share Posted July 17, 2011 I am sure you fell bad, but i think you need to move on. he has made it clear that he is interested in himself, and he has told you to go on. His excuses are unfair, as he chose a younger person, yet now blames you for being younger. that is not on, girl! You say he is "narcissistic" and craves attention? Is this really ever going to change? If he can't find time to travel through your relationship, and only the needs he has with work etc, it is unlikely. Sounds perhaps like he wants adoring fans, not real relationships. Sorry. Look after yourself, move forward. Make a difference in YOUR life, don't wait for someone who may or may not want you back. You deserve better, honey! Link to comment
frogprincess Posted July 17, 2011 Share Posted July 17, 2011 I just had to add that you seem like a really lovely girl. You (like MIABABY, next post) are smart girls, who haven't compromised yourselves for a boy/relationship. Good for you both!! Do you know how many girls wish they had your conviction??? But remember Pinkfrangipani, you are so young, and you don't see it now, but you have so much time! PLEASE don't rush into a mistake that will haunt you FOREVER. take time , be you and grow! Good luck. Link to comment
puddlejumping Posted July 17, 2011 Share Posted July 17, 2011 I've been in your situation many years ago. I was 20 when by first boyfriend broke up with me. He was 4 years older than me. He told me the same thing, meet other people, finish school etc. I did! Trust me, it's very hard at the moment but you will move on. I agree you are very young! There's so much ahead of you - new people to meet, many experiences and adventures await you. It's okay to hurt right now but time will heal your pain. Just try to hang in there and go on with your life for now. Link to comment
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