Jump to content

Crush on a friend's friend...


Recommended Posts

This is mostly me just letting my feelings out. It (like all of my posts) ended up being very long as I love to write. I don't really expect any responses since for one, I doubt you'll read the whole thing... and for two, I'm just basically blogging since I took down my blog and this is the only place I have left.... But of course comments and opinions are welcome.


In the last year, I started hanging out with an old friend who I saw only saw occassionally the past few years due to busy lives... During the past year, I have been meeting some of hers and her boyfriends friends and have been getting to know some of their friends as well. Well, recently my ex who I have been with for 6 years and lived with for the past 8 months and I broke up, and he moved out. After the breakup, I allowed my friend and her boyfriend to move into my apartment. During the time of her stay, one of the boyfriend's best friends who I've met in the last year has been hanging out at my house quite a bit on the weekends and I've been developing a crush on him... Most of the time it's just us four hanging out and having a few weekend drinks at home, but occassionally there are other friends around as well...


The thing is, if someone is looking for something, they will find it... which makes looking for signs difficult in the dating scene! People can take little tiny insignificant signs and totally blow it up into a "sign" of someone being into them, and I understand this... this is why I'm pretty much being careful. (Since he IS one of my best friend's boyfriend's best friends... say that 3x fast...)


Anyway, so the past month, he's been hanging out a lot with us on the weekends, he's even spent the last two weekends at my house. He is from our city, but moved an hour away so he comes back to our city quite a bit on the weekends to be with his friends. He used to crash at my now-roommate's place before moving in with me, which is why he is now crashing at my place... which is ok with me, he's a cool guy.


So, the thing is, this crush... It's not huge and blown out of proportion yet, but it's getting there. I'm really attracted to this guy, but I feel I have a way of intimidating men. For one, at 29 years old, I've worked for the government for 10 years, make good money, have my own place, etc... While the rest of my friends are still really in that "20's" stage of partying and living life... I am not. To be honest, I've barely even drank in the last 6 years as my ex was an ex-alcoholic so I quit drinking for support. Anyway, so in the eyes of my friends, I'm the squarish responsible grandma... Which of course, I know there's nothing wrong with that, but it makes it kind of hard to have fun with my friends when most people my age are spending it at bars, clubs, etc... And I'm really more of a responsible hang out at home kind of person. (For one, I'm a divorced single mother of 2... and two... well, I'm just not cool with being irresponsible... I feel like i'm getting older and my friends aren't...)


Anyway, point being, the guys I'm meeting from my friend are all good people, they're just not in the same place I am in life... This makes me feel as if I intimidate them, and maybe they think that I'm too good for them, since well, in all reality, I am a lot further in life than they are. But the thing is, I'm not a picky person when it comes to dating. I look for very few things from a man, which is how well he treats me, and how we get along really... I'm not worried about money as I make my own. I'm not looking for possessions or material things, as this stuff doesn't matter to me. Of course my parents would love it if I can find me a nice rich doctor (who's parents doesnt?) but that's not what I'm looking for in a person. So anyway, this guy I'm crushing on had some personal issues go on a few months ago which caused his moving to another city and losing his car as well. Financially, he's not well off at the moment, meaning he also doesn't have a cell phone anymore, so there's no way for me to contact him anyway... During this same time, he hurts himself and has surgery so he's been out of work for a couple months... Not doing so well on the ego.


Thing is, from what I know of him, he's a real cool guy and we're getting to know each other more and more. He's spent the last two weekends at my house and honestly, I'm not really seeing any signs of interest from him, but there has been a couple things that make me think he may be interested... But like I said, if you look, you will find... lol. One thing that caught my attention with this was him asking "what was up with me and my ex"... To me, I find no reason for anyone who's not interested to even ask about my previous relationship. He's met my ex a couple times before coming around to my place often in the last couple months. And the question of what happened with us was asked I think the 2nd or 3rd time he came over as I'm sure he noticed my ex wasn't around anymore... so it could just have been a simple question really...


Anyway, when we're in a big group, he doesn't really focus on me, which gets me thinking he's not interested... But as soon as everyone leaves, we'll stay up a couple more hours chatting and hanging out and we'll watch a movie in the living room before we pass our drunk butts out on (our own separate) couch... He hasn't tried to make a move, which I appreciate, being that we've been drinking the last 3 weekends... that shows he respects me at least and he's not just looking for a booty call.


He's said a few comments that makes me think he's peaking interest but nothing really further than a few small comments here and there. I guess I'm just used to guys being more straight forward. He just recently found out that I like the same type of music he does. (I so don't look like I listen to rock... but I play both acoustic and electric guitar so I'm into all types of music) So last time we were in the car and my friend pops my fave CD in, he asks who's CD it was and I said mine to which he replies "I didn't know you were into this type of music"... We also have talked about going fishing together as we both love to fish... And also we're trying to make plans to go camping this weekend with the four of us (myself, him, and my friend and her bf). I just don't have any clue if he's just hanging around cuz his best friend lives with me, or if he's actually interested. It's kind of weird hanging out sometimes with the four of us cuz I feel like he and I are the odd two out because my friend and his friend are a couple and we're not... I don't wanna end up being some last resort hook up only because he spends so much time at my place so I'm kind of not being very flirty with him. (Well, that and of course, everyone fears rejection...)


I don't know where I'm really getting at... I'm just a bit confused as to why when we're alone we'll talk quite a bit, but when in a group, he doesn't focus on me as a person who is interested normally would. But then again, he's more the type to "hang with the guys" so usualy he's focusing on the guys when we're in a group. I don't think he's had very many serious relationships, nor flings really. I've known him for about a year, but really only started really hanging out the past couple months. And during this whole year I haven't seen him with any girls, nor ever hear about any either...


I'm afraid to ask my friend about his situation because honestly, I don't want anyone to know I like him because we (well, mostly they, I'm still new to their friends) have a big group of friends. Also he's around a lot and I don't want it to be awkward if he's not interested... It's actually funny because last Monday my friend goes up to me and says "OMG, did you and (guy) do anything???" like all crazy gossip-like... I acted confused and said "What? No!" I didn't want to throw her any hints so I didn't say anything until later and asked her what was up with her asking that question (hoping I'd get something out of her) and she said oh it was nothing, I was just wondering. But to me, the way she asked it was kind of weird... It was very "gossipy" the way she asked... kinda high schoolish lol. I don't wanna look into it, but that kind of tells me that SOMEONE, whether it be her, her boyfriend, or the guy in question... expects we'll hook up, or has said something about it. I haven't pushed it with her so that's the only response I got was "oh I was just wondering..."


So ya... that's my long winded story... Sorry, I love writing and talking... lol. Apparently.

Link to comment


This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Create New...