Sunshin3 Posted July 14, 2011 Share Posted July 14, 2011 So I got an email yesterday from my exs mom. She stays in contact with me because I have her first grandchild. She informed me that ex lost his job and broke up with his girlfriend of about a year (if you've read my previous threads, he left me for her when I was 30 wks pregnant with his baby). This morning I get a phone call from a long distance number (he lives in another province) and its him. We haven't talked for so long, at least 8 months. He poured his heart out to me, saying he wishes he could take back the past and have his son and me in his life again. He told me he loved me this whole time and he couldn't be with the other woman because he missed me too much. Etc etc etc.. but the thing is, when he broke up with me I did the whole begging and pleading thing (I like to blame this on my pregnancy horomones) and he would turn cold. He threated me with death threats and threats against our then unborn son. He's never met his child. He was so unbelieveibly hateful towards me I'm having a hard time comprehending all of this. I still love him, I probably always will. But I was sooo close to FINALLY getting over him 100%. And now this... What am I supposed to do? Obviously I want the father of my baby in his life but at the same time I don't trust him.. Link to comment
wilyone 11 Posted July 14, 2011 Share Posted July 14, 2011 He left you for another woman when you were 30 weeks pregnant and simultaneously made death threats against you and the baby? This is a no-brainer. You must cut this guy out of your life. I know it's hard because you loved him but you WILL fall in love with another man who will make a great father to your son. You are finally almost healed. Don't jeopardize that now. Link to comment
Eocsor Posted July 14, 2011 Share Posted July 14, 2011 Well, I'm the father of three and I've been divorced from my ex for 17 years now. The fact that we weren't together did have an effect on our kids. We were cordial to each other but the kids would have been better off if we had remained together. BUT thats only if we could have been happy together which we couldn't have been. Yes, it's for the best for a kid to have their parents remain together but thats only if the parents are happy and have their act together. Nothing is worse than a household where everyone is arguing all the time. If you still love him and want to see if you can be a family give it a try. Be be very cautious and take it very slowly. Link to comment
Angel Irulan Posted July 14, 2011 Share Posted July 14, 2011 I am so sorry this happened to you, but you did the right thing by leaving. PLEASE don't get this guy back in your life again! The death threats are serious, against both you and your son. I had a childhood friend who died at the hands of man who did this. He trapped her in their old home while she and her mother had come home to feed the dogs she had. Her ex had called her that day and threatened suicide. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE call the cops if this jerk plays this game with you. He's got a problem that you can't fix. Contact an attorney and get a restraining order to prevent him from coming near you and your son for life. Once again, I'm so sorry you are going through this, but this is dangerous for you and your child. Hugs, Angel Link to comment
Eocsor Posted July 14, 2011 Share Posted July 14, 2011 Ooops. Teach me to read better. If he's threatened you with violence then all bets are off. Link to comment
Kitkat973 Posted July 14, 2011 Share Posted July 14, 2011 He threated me with death threats and threats against our then unborn son. He's never met his child. He was so unbelieveibly hateful towards me I'm having a hard time comprehending all of this. Listen to this, not the words coming out of his mouth now that he wants something. Link to comment
Sunshin3 Posted July 15, 2011 Author Share Posted July 15, 2011 You guys are all right, but I still am finding reasons to go back to him. He won't stop calling and texting me. All of a sudden hes so interested in what our son is doing. But for the first 8 months of his life he didnt give a crap. This is all too much for me to handle in one day/night. I am really considering that restraining order just so he will leave me alone. Link to comment
doyathink Posted July 15, 2011 Share Posted July 15, 2011 History has a way of repeating itself. From personal experiences, I vote run. fast, and hard. Either he just finally woke up, or he's using you as a backup. Some ppl do that bc humans like the 'familiar'. He's shown you just how low he is capable of going. Are you willing to put your heart back out there knowing it has a good chance of getting torn to shreads again? Im not fond of pain that goes soul deep. Id keep looking forward Link to comment
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