grr facebook...help me do the right thing

[deavyin]

I told myself the other day that I need to cut out any knowledge of her or I won't be able to move forward.

 

I still have people telling me things about her though. Met up with a friend that I met when i was with her. He was out of the state the entire time we were together and just got back. He heard from a mutual friend of ours (who works at the bar we frequent) about the break up and the new guy.

 

Of course he had to bring her up last night when we met up. I told him I didn't want to talk about her and that what's done is done. He told me that, if he had to chose sides, he'd be on mine but that he won't since he's friends with us both. I told him that was fine and if he does hang out with hernot to tell me anything about her (which isn't likely to happen; he claimed that he called her up when he got back, a couple days after the BU, and she flaked on him and hasn't been in contact).

 

It's weird. I met him while I was with her. I know he had a thing for her and even asked me if we were together because he wanted to ask her out (he had no chance) and now he wants to be my friend since he's relatively new to the area and doesn't know a lot of people but for some reason being around him just reminds me of her. He wants me to meet up with him this weekend and hang around his pool with a couple of his friends (who also work at the bar) but I don't know if I want to see this guy again and that makes me feel pretty awful because he is a cool guy and has nothing to do with our break up at all.

 

Also, I told myself ENOUGH IS ENOUGH when it comes to facebook. Each time I see something I don't like it really upsets me and ruins my day still. It's like a stupid drug man. You know what you are going to see and that it's going to be all bad for you yet you can't help but look. It's been a couple days since I last checked and right now it's really hard not to just grab my phone and do some online stalking. It's just so f'ing easy.

 

Please people, give me some reasons why I should stay away and tell me that it's going to get easier. I just ran into a bunch of the girls who have been gossiping about me. They told me that I have beautiful eyes that match me complexion and hair (i'm italian with hazel eyes) and that if I was 20 years older they'd be wrapped around my finger. They then went on to say "I wish I had someone to set him up with...a nice sweet girl because he is such a nice guy and deserves that". It would be fine if they were just joking around but they all know about the break up (i didn't tell them; she did) and so it just feels kind of insulting like they are all taking pity on me. I just laughed, joked about how they were making me blush and walked away.

 

I thought she was out for the entire week (as my coworker friend told me the other day) but she is back today. It's weird. When she is gone I wonder where she is (even though I try not to) but it's good to know that I won't run into her at the office. The second I see her car after a long absence and know she is in the office I feel nervous and anxious the entire day (she has had a few absences over the course of the past couple months due to work or vacations; each time for close to a week).

 

I just wish this would end and so I could go back to being normal. This healing process feels like such a drag and takes way too long. I live in a relatively small area and I work in a small office where everyone knows everyone else. This whole entire town feels like the set of cheers and when something like this goes down it seems that EVERYONE knows. The bar I go to is pretty much the only thing that happens here and that's why I know everyone there and everyone knows everyone else (including her since she grew up here). I know that everyone has talked about it behind my back...

 

just last night I was hanging out with one of the bartenders too (outside of the bar) and there was a bunch of us. She just had to say "man, heard about your break up with the red head girl. She brought the new guy into the bar...man, what is she thinking; that guy is a doofus and weird looking". I told her "well, she is the only one who has to like him".

 

I wish I could just escape all this because I hate it.

[iBroken]

Why are you looking for us to tell you NOT to lurk her facebook when a) you know that this is wrong and b) there are countless threads about how important it is to delete and block?

 

You are only subjecting yourself to this pain. You gotta suck it up, delete her and move on with your life

[deavyin]

I'm asking because I was told that, before i do something like that, I should come here first so I can get talked out of it. I usually don't come here before I do something stupid and that's why I end up doing something stupid.

[Eocsor]

It will get better if you do what you need to do to heal. I think you know what that is. Time works wonders and one day this will be behind you. Maybe not for awhile but in the grand scheme of things, not too long. Keep doing what you know you should and you'll be OK.

[sidehop]

Don't hold onto something that will only give you grief in the. I'm sure you're trying to make some sense out of all this with mixed feelings but she's like a bag of rotten potatoes in a sack. The longer you hold on the more problem it's going to give you emotionally and physically. If you have to block Facebook for awhile until you are confident enough deep down that you are completely over her. It'll take time but hang in there. Each time you make the right move, the faster you'll heal but try not to do the opposite.

[Theniceone]

How can you check her Facebook? Didn't you ask her to block it from you? What kind of stalking can you do anyways?

 

just block her and all individuals that have her as a friend including newsfeed. Better yet, desactivate your Facebook. Honestly very easy you are subjecting yourself to this because you do not want to let go.