obx Posted July 14, 2011 Share Posted July 14, 2011 Hey - I just want to know how other people have dealing when they do know for sure that their ex is with someone else already! Mine started when we were still together! This is the worst! Some people may imagine or think but I know for sure he is with someone else..she has put shes in a relationship and have seen her car at his house spending the night a lot. (I had been going by his house to see but have since stopped!!) It hadn't even been a month before they were "together" and this is the girl he broke up with me for to go see bc his friend set him up with her through facebook and they started talking. I don't even believe how well I have tried to keep it together..given what happened out of the blue. Why did he have to "get back in the game" when he wasnt even really done with me..couldn't have been alone for awhile to think or give us a break..and be single for awhile...he just turned 33 so apparently he thought not..ugh.. But I was curious if there are any similar stories? At first, I was thinking about being immature and doing the revenge thing and contacting her and saying something..but didnt. I dont want them to work obviously...it is jealously that he chose to be with her over us..left me to go see what is was like with her and now they are together!?! Makes me sick... The fact that he's with her and not contacting me a bad sign I guess? You think he misses me at all and might come back into the picture at some point or does that only happen with guys that dont jump into something else quick and actually think about stuff!?? Dont think I would take him back automatically though..he hurt me bad..but I actually want him to want me back and admit he made a mistake..again, not holding my breath on that one!! I think I still have some hope she's just a rebound and it wont work... but she is really pretty and successful and outgoing..and probably everything he wants that I wasnt...ok..thats my negativity talking..I'll try to stay positive!..any thoughts??? Thanks! Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted July 14, 2011 Share Posted July 14, 2011 Leave them too it. Any guy that can do that to you isnt worth your time and he will probably do the same to her. Overlapping relationships are not healthy. I think you should forget him, why would you want him back if he behave so appallingly? Stay strong. Link to comment
mhowe Posted July 14, 2011 Share Posted July 14, 2011 You only want him to want you back, you really don't want him. That's just your ego talking. Retain your dignity, and act with maturity (something your ex clearly isn't capable of). Living well is the best revenge! Link to comment
Carus Posted July 14, 2011 Share Posted July 14, 2011 Mine started when we were still together! This is the worst! But I was curious if there are any similar stories? Yes me....and they are still together to this day ~ 2+ years on.... You need to remove all reminders of him and get into NC straight away! You don't want to be hearing and seeing their new RS please believe me! IF their RS fails at some stage he may start contacting you, but you dont want to 'wait around' to see if that happens.... Let their RS run its course on its own and take care of the things in your life that are important...Sleep. Income..etc I know the pain all too well, but the pain increases if you stay around in the background* Stay Strong Carus* 8-) Link to comment
nsomnia912 Posted July 14, 2011 Share Posted July 14, 2011 It happened to me...3 year ltr. And 2 weeks she's in a relationship with him..moving accross country to be with him. And I'm left high and dry..no explanations, no goodbyes, no I'm sorries..nothing but a wake of devastation.... Not only that but i was blamed for it all! She was securing things with him and stringing me along, refusing to break up with me. She was talking to him and I found out...she told me I was paranoid and didnt trust her and I just think the worst....making me feel like I have issues, all the while I was right about everything...the lying the cheating, she was trying to manipulate me so she can convince herself she wasnt at fault.....I left her...2 weeks later she's official with him. 2 months now I'm still messed up over it all. Now I have trust issues... Link to comment
magnoliatree Posted July 14, 2011 Share Posted July 14, 2011 Keep your dignity and leave him alone. Link to comment
sadandalone Posted July 14, 2011 Share Posted July 14, 2011 It happened to me also and he is still with her...just leave him alone and like magnolia said, keep your dignity....do your best to move on.....and take things day by day that is all you can do... Link to comment
Eocsor Posted July 14, 2011 Share Posted July 14, 2011 Seriously, who knows. No one can read the future. My ex married the guy she had her affair with. The thing is he left you and chose to be with her. Thats all you need to know. He did you dirt, don't pine away waiting for a scumbag. Living well is the best revenge so heal and move on. Link to comment
redswim30 Posted July 14, 2011 Share Posted July 14, 2011 Let it go. Leave them both alone. If you do anything for "revenge" on him or her - ALL this does is make you look like an immature psycho, solidifies in his mind that he made the right decision, and makes her look all the more appealing- But more important than all of these- It doesn't help you heal, and doesn't change a thing. Bad things happen in life sometimes, unfair things happen, things don't always turn out the way we would like- what defines us as people is how we behave when bad things happen to us. What kind of person do you want to be ? Link to comment
sadandalone Posted July 14, 2011 Share Posted July 14, 2011 I agree completely with redswim.....just let it go and make your life good for YOU Link to comment
wicked6018 Posted July 14, 2011 Share Posted July 14, 2011 i'm sorry this happened to you. i personally think that facebook is such a dangerous thing for relationships. it can cause so much pain that wouldn't be caused without it. you see things that, had you not seen them, you would hurt much less. i deleted mine a few days ago after my ex ended it with me. good luck to you, and don't contact him. he's a douche bag. Link to comment
wilyone 11 Posted July 14, 2011 Share Posted July 14, 2011 Don't think you're less than she is just because he's with her now. When relationships become serious, often guys get uncertain and other women suddenly look very appealing to them. Many get GIGS. Some act on it and others don't. If you two had something special and you're meant to be together, then he'll be back eventually and appreciating you more. If not, then it's best that he cut you loose now so you can find someone else who adores you. Link to comment
Meriem Posted July 14, 2011 Share Posted July 14, 2011 Print 100 pictures of him, then enjoy tearing them up one by one, throw a tantrum just kidding What you do is you just think of him as someone from the past, that has nothing to do with your life now and cannot affect it in any way, you move forward! And never look back, and you gte excited about the next guy.. Link to comment
BriarRose Posted July 14, 2011 Share Posted July 14, 2011 He's tainted now, like bad mayo - he's with someone else. He'll call you if things don't work out with her - don't ever take him back. He is tainted now. Don't ever forget that. I am very sorry you had to find out about this - most of us have been there, and it's very painful. Link to comment
Carus Posted July 15, 2011 Share Posted July 15, 2011 Print 100 pictures of him, then enjoy tearing them up one by one, throw a tantrum just kidding I work in PsychoTherapy and thats actually not a bad idea... I would think it is carthartic, like keeping a journal or writing letters that you then burn* Sometimes meditation doesn't involve just lying still in the silence* Ever Forward Carus* 8-) Link to comment
hello678 Posted July 15, 2011 Share Posted July 15, 2011 You do realise everytime you contact either of them you make yourself look bad? Do you want them laughing at you behind your back? Deal with it to yourself. Read the thread in my sig, you don't want him back. Link to comment
MissSMcc Posted July 15, 2011 Share Posted July 15, 2011 do you think your best bet at a happy future relationship is with him, the guy that left you for another woman, or someone new, that you maybe haven't met yet, that hasn't hurt you this way? your ex is old news, a lying cheating non appreciative man that doesn't deserve you. it happened to me too, and whilst i still hold somewhat of a grudge, and hope things fall apart for him, she is welcome to him. because people rarely change, and what they did to us they will most likely do to their other partners. and if they don't, so what? they did it to us, and that should be enough to tell us we deserve better than them. Link to comment
ChellyV Posted July 15, 2011 Share Posted July 15, 2011 happened to me, and yes it is the worst. but i didn't do anything, just walked away silently. sought counselling and immersed in a lot of activities. they eventually broke up, after a year. and then this ex expressed wanting me back and that i was his best ever. NEVER AGAIN. after healing, i thought i am never going to be with a person i might have trust issues with. try to walk away silently and with dignity. and open up your doors to other guys out there..no longer for this ex of yours. stop driving by too, it will just have negative effect on you. Link to comment
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