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uh, does this mean anything? (aka friendzone)


Shakeybones

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so long story short, seeing her for about about 5 months...and we had the talk and she told me im in the friend-zone (thats fine by me and all)...BUT Now she is calling me every-night and i even got to choose her sex toy, and NAME IT!!!

and now we have 2-planned trips

 

Is this friend-zone territory or am i on some other path

 

Ive been friend-zoned before with another girl and we pretty much lost all contact as soon as we established that.

 

Any thought's would be appreciated

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I wouldn't read anything into it. If she specifically tells u that you are in the friend zone then unless or until she specifically tells you that you are not you should believe her. Your reaction (or lack thereof) might have thrown her for a loop and she is reacting to that. It could also be that now that she thinks you are comfortable being friends then she is more relaxed around you and is taking liberties with that. If this kind of behaviour is going to make you wonder if she is into you then you should set boundaries. the last thing you want to do is get emotionally entangled with someone who isn't ready or willing to commit to the fact that they like you ... much less wanting a relationship with you.

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Ahhhhh I mean are you really cool with that? If I heard I was friendzoned I'd be gone! Def wouldn't be buying sex toys with the one who just friend zoned me.

 

^^This

 

She is using you for flirty attention and it has become 10x easier for her to do so because she has established that her needs are defining the relationship.

 

The best thing to do is to assert that you need to be able to spend time meeting other women who want more than just attention from you - but only if she becomes more persistent in her desire to get attention from you. If she's calling you once or twice a month to chat - no big deal. Once a week is too much - she's selfishly getting all the attention she wants from you so long as you are willing to spend it on her.

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You've now become the gay BFF. Next stop is her telling you about her new BF using the toy on her.

 

I highly doubt this, we have kissed before even made out heavily.. and this is why im confused, when i tried to pull away and drop it, she was blowing my phone up...it was weird for somebody who doesnt waant a relationship to do such a thing...and um im still talking to other girls because.. were not official, there is no tag.

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I highly doubt this, we have kissed before even made out heavily.. and this is why im confused, when i tried to pull away and drop it, she was blowing my phone up...it was weird for somebody who doesnt waant a relationship to do such a thing...and um im still talking to other girls because.. were not official, there is no tag.

 

You are the gay BFF in that women will share EVERYTHING with their gay BFF - even discussions about their vibrators. I don't mean that you're gay - lol. Just that she considers you as safe as as gay friend.

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You are the gay BFF in that women will share EVERYTHING with their gay BFF - even discussions about their vibrators. I don't mean that you're gay - lol. Just that she considers you as safe as as gay friend.

 

Wrong, we almost had sex yesturday...idk i think im dealing with a different type of girl

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Wrong, we almost had sex yesturday...idk i think im dealing with a different type of girl

 

Oh, OK. So, she told you you're in the friendzone, and now you're having sex with her? lol

 

If that's the truth, then I'd say she only views you as a piece of meat. Either that, or she really gets off on having control and making sure you "know your place".

 

Anyway you slice it, it doesn't portend of good things for you.

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Oh, OK. So, she told you you're in the friendzone, and now you're having sex with her? lol

 

If that's the truth, then I'd say she only views you as a piece of meat. Either that, or she really gets off on having control and making sure you "know your place".

 

Anyway you slice it, it doesn't portend of good things for you.

 

Yup that's the truth, That's exactly why im so damn confused lol..(it threw me for a loop so bad yesterday).. I hope shes not a control freak, that would suck so bad.. i also think she views me as like a pillar, somebody stable you know.

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Yup that's the truth, That's exactly why im so damn confused lol..(it threw me for a loop so bad yesterday).. I hope shes not a control freak, that would suck so bad.. i also think she views me as like a pillar, somebody stable you know.

 

Totally. OR, it could be that the whole idea of a relationship scares the bejesus out of her, so this is her way of finding her grounding and being comfy without the label, etc. Like she's backending it.

 

I've pulled this kind of mixed messaging thing before, and it's generally been because I wanted to be the one to control the relationship. Not for control sake, but because I wanted to feel safe and go at my own point.

 

Or, she's just a plain nutter. lol

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