what would you do?

[sickandtiredof]

I posted once before about my bestfriend and her affair, but I didn't give any of the information that I should have to put the whole story together and I am lost with what to do. This is my 'bestfriend' after all.

 

We have been friends for about 5 years and in that 5 years she has never had a car. I drive her around anywhere she can't walk too and this includes every weekend in that 5 years me driving her child back and forth to her dads house. At one time he lived 40 minutes away, which is a lot of time in the car on weekends doing this for her. She would pay me when she could and still does if she can, but sometimes not enough to cover gas. I do it because she is my friend but in all honesty with so many things troubling me with our friendship right now I'm not sure if I haven't created her dependance on me, which is my fault and not hers. Along with the driving her around I have supported her for a whole year when she lost her job. I paid her phone bill but luckily she had no other debt, but when her child was over I did the driving and got food and made sure her child had a birthday when it was her birthday and a Christmas when it was Christmas.She would have no where to go, no family to help and she is my friend so I stepped up. I like to believe my friend would do the same for me. The problem is...I have come to realize that she lies and lies a lot and I'm feeling pretty hurt after all I have done for her. When she was out of a job we had talked about a concert we wanted to see but she didn't want me to have to pay for two tickets even though it was my choice to do so but she insisted we didn't go. My sister came to down and gave me a ticket and I felt soooo guilty for being able to go when my friend couldn't and I told her how sorry I was. Come to find out over a year later, she had a ticket to the concert the following night all a long and just never told me and then lied about it anyway. I found out by seeing pictures of her with the married guy and I asked her about it and she continued to lie even a year later. Same thing on my birthday a year ago. I said it would be fun to go to a concert, she didn't have money so we weren't going to go....saw pictures a year later of her at the concert with same guy. She told me (the night after my birthday) she forgot it was my birthday and she had things to do, but never said she was at the concert that I asked to go to for my birthday. There have many instances like this. Another example is when I let her band practice in my home for hours several times to save them money on a studio only to be told I can't go hang out with the band after etc. To top it all off, she knows I believe my husband had an affair on me and she was my support hero (who was lying about being in an affair at the same time) only to then later, while I was supporting her for a year, sleep with the married man in MY home and I know it happened more than once but she says it was only the one time. I was paying for everything for her while she slept most of the day and went out a lot at night, and then she does that in my home...I thought that was going to be the end of our friendship but once she got a job and moved out we kind of rekindled things but every time I catch her lying I get upset all over again and when I asked her to talk to me about it, she didn't want too. Even with evidence she makes up lies.

 

What would you do?

[capilot]

She lies so much that you don't know what's true. I think you don't actually have a real friendship, but rather, the illusion of a friendship.

[Mephisto13]

I'd ask myself....do you need the aggrivation?

 

It's been 5 years and she's proven she won't change (lying wise).

 

At what point do you stop the hurt ("My sister came to down and gave me a ticket and I felt soooo guilty for being able to go when my friend couldn't and I told her how sorry I was...she had a ticket to the concert the following night all a long and just never told me and then lied about it ")?

 

Some people are just liars...I've known a few.