thatguy42 Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 We were together for 3 years, most of it living together. She stopped putting as much effort into the relationship at the end, and eventually after one of our fights said we needed some time apart. So she left for a few days. I woke up to find her moving out. She didn't bother to let me know she was coming over. I suggested we see a counselor, but she said no. Her parents came, and she carried her stuff out. I didn't know that she had finished the last load, and she never said goodbye. That was over 3 months ago, and I haven't heard from her since. You'd think she would have had the decency to say goodbye. I haven't tried contacting her. Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 We were together for 3 years, most of it living together. She stopped putting as much effort into the relationship at the end, and eventually after one of our fights said we needed some time apart. So she left for a few days. I woke up to find her moving out. She didn't bother to let me know she was coming over. I suggested we see a counselor, but she said no. Her parents came, and she carried her stuff out. I didn't know that she had finished the last load, and she never said goodbye. That was over 3 months ago, and I haven't heard from her since. You'd think she would have had the decency to say goodbye. I haven't tried contacting her. A person's true character shows in the method they choose to walk away from a relationship. In Yiddish there is a term called "mensch". A "mensch" is a person with integrity and honour. Someone who walks away from a relationship without explanation and without saying goodbye is not a mensch. The person is a coward. In the way she handled the breakup, you saw her true character...and it is not a pretty sight. Link to comment
thatguy42 Posted July 13, 2011 Author Share Posted July 13, 2011 A person's true character shows in the method they choose to walk away from a relationship. In Yiddish there is a term called "mensch". A "mensch" is a person with integrity and honour. Someone who walks away from a relationship without explanation and without saying goodbye is not a mensch. The person is a coward. In the way she handled the breakup, you saw her true character...and it is not a pretty sight. She gave explanation, but wouldn't agree to a counselor. She said she didn't feel appreciated, but I certainly didn't neglect her. She mentioned my anger, and I said I'd work on it, but she said she didn't trust me on that. The reason we were arguing so much was because she wasn't putting the effort into the relationship that a relationship deserves. I guess most women probably would have probably broken up earlier rather than half-ass or quarter-ass it for the last few months. She was very cold and aloof, like she had already made the decision a while before. I think the last thing she said was that she didn't want me contacting her family. No goodbye. What a lame last thing to say. We were really close for most of our 3 year relationship, so it's kind of strange that she left without saying goodbye, and hasn't contacted me in close to 3 1/2 months since she moved out. Link to comment
Carus Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 Sorry that happened to you TG* As for the title of this thread, I've been through several breakups and yes, it's normal.... Ever Forward Carus* 8-) Link to comment
sunday2010 Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 its normal... well for me.. last year may 2010 a guy i was seeing for three and half years walked out my life and i never heard from him ever again.... it happens........ Link to comment
Love1336 Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 Uhh. it depends I guess. I know people who had exes from 10 years ago make contact again. And there is some exes who never talk to there ex loves again. It truly depends on a person heart. You might hear from you ex again, or not. If you want closure you should make contact. HOWEVER, you can make your own closure. Me personally, OMG if my ex did that to me i would go CRAZY and NEED to talk to him, but you and I are different. So, all really depends on you. You can wait, and move on. Wait, and never move on. ;D Or make your own closure. Link to comment
Mttens Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 My ex left last June after 12 years together and haven't heard from him since. It's not normal in my opinion, but, as CAD said, the exit shows their true colors. I am so sorry that happened to you. Link to comment
reidqa Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 Ours was a very destructive breakup post affair that was 30 yrs ago last time seen EW was 28 yrs ago. It depends on the pain inflicted due to issues, there are many that see a headstone decades later. Link to comment
BriarRose Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 Yes, it's normal. If you hear from her down the road (I once had one try to come back after 9 or 10 years), don't respond. She sounds like a cold one to end things that way after so long, though. Link to comment
hidden_kitten Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 That was over 3 months ago, and I haven't heard from her since. You'd think she would have had the decency to say goodbye. I haven't tried contacting her. I'm sorry you had to go through such an awful break up, but then again, even if she did say goodbye it could have been very drawn out and just as difficult. My long-term relationship ended over a year ago and we tried to stay in touch as friends but jealousy and drama took over and only now have we gone proper no-contact. As hard as it is to think I may never see or hear from him again I wish we had done that sooner. Link to comment
hello678 Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 When a relationship starts to go downhill it tends to bring out the worst thing in both parties. For instance, one party does feel appreciated so they stop putting in the effort. This moves to a reduced sex life, this makes both parties misserable so they start fighting over things, all of a sudden one party has an 'anger issue' as you outlined and their partner is gone. Don't blame yourself, it was just one of the things that happen when a relationship doesnt work. As for her. Who knows really, that is very drastic action from her side of the fence and no its not normal to not hear from them after. She left you so don't initiate contact, if prepare to never hear from her again tbh. Link to comment
endy Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 Don't look forward to hearing from her. Just let go and move on. Start getting yourself back. Get back to being strong and loving yourself. Sometimes you do, and sometimes you don't. If the relationship didn't end very badly then yes I usually hear from my ex's again, BUT in no means does that mean that we get back together. The best thing to do is not worry about that and start moving on. Say goodbye in your mind and start controlling your thoughts so you don't think about her. Every time you think about her yell STOP and start thinking about something that makes you happy. Link to comment
thatguy42 Posted July 22, 2011 Author Share Posted July 22, 2011 I should point out again that I never tried to contact her, either, but isn't it up to the dumper to initiate contact, especially if they never bothered to say goodbye? I have some reasons I could break contact, I still have some of her stuff, I could ask her for money, but it'd seem lame to use those as an excuse to contact her. But yeah, the situation isn't very promising. When she moved out instead of giving me the key then, or mailing it to me, she mailed it to the landlord. Link to comment
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