I'm just crumbling

[Flywest29]

I can't stop feeling sad, angry, depressed. It's hard for me to get out of bed and just do simple things. I eat once, twice a day and when I do its pure crap. I have stopped drinking for a few days but I really want to. It hasn't even been two weeks since she did this and I feel like I am getting worse.

 

I know that she is bad for me, she is crazy, is 10 years older, has 3 kids, but why does she have to be the most beautiful 40 year old in the world? She was awful to me what she did. I can't stop thinking about the things she said (texted) and how hurtful it was. She lied to me, used me, strung me along. I was so happy when we were back together but it was all lies, she never loved me she used me as a security blanket. I was such a fool, I believed every word, every text, every email that she truly loved me and wanted to be with me.

 

I feel so stupid, so defeated, so angry, so sad, so messed up. I hate that its another beautiful summer day andI can't get out of bed and enjoy it. I just sit and wallow in my sadness, and have some pretty dark, twisted thoughts. I don't want to let anyone into my heart again.

[Kitkat973]

When you're depressed, the basics of taking care of yourself become a full-time job. Not doing it, though, can result in a vicious cycle. Try to concentrate on how much better you feel when you do things that you know are good for you, and focus on that reward when you're putting the effort in.

[Snuggly]

You are not a fool. You trusted someone who was a liar. That makes her the fool and bad person, not you. I think you should allow yourself more time to grieve. Its great that you have stopped drinking. But you really need a friend. Is there someone you can call to come round or talk to you on the phone? Dont try to get through this alone. Hang in there. She is the bad person, you are not.

[Flywest29]

Ya thanks, but I still feel foolish for believing every word she said. She looked into my eyes while we were making love telling me she loved me, I believed it all. I am trying to fight it, it is so hard, I have a close friend who is really concerned about me but I keep pushing her away when she wants to help me. I don't want to be seen as a weak person to any of my family or friends.

[wicked6018]

i am going through this right now. it's been one day since my break up. i will be ok for an hour or so, because i have to go to work or whatever, but then the tears and the sobs just come and do not end. i would recommend making yourself go do something, anything, to think about her even a little less. i thought it would be impossible for me to go to work today, but i did, and it helped a little temporarily. good luck.

[joswsieg]

Just don't be like me and hang onto hope of getting back together for very long. If you do this then you will never get over it and keep being depressed.

[mynameishope]

I'm sorry you're feeling so down Flywest. Please don't feel foolish, we have all been deceived at some point. It's not foolish to believe that someone loves us when they tell us they do. I believed my ex when he looked me in the face and told me he's about to step up his game, be a better man to me and take me back home with him. 2 weeks later he pretended we were never together as a couple but I refuse to feel foolish about it.

 

You will feel better, it's just a matter of time. Time heals but you won't believe me until you feel it. What bothers me is that you said "I hate that its another beautiful summer day and I can't get out of bed and enjoy it." Why can't you? Is it physically impossible? No, it's just seems mentally impossible right now and guess who's in control of your mind. You are!

 

Did you start a journal? If you haven't I suggest you do. Putting all your uncensored thoughts on paper will release a lot of the pain.

[Ms Darcy]

I know that she is bad for me, she is crazy, is 10 years older, has 3 kids, but why does she have to be the most beautiful 40 year old in the world? She was awful to me what she did. I can't stop thinking about the things she said (texted) and how hurtful it was. She lied to me, used me, strung me along. I was so happy when we were back together but it was all lies, she never loved me she used me as a security blanket. I was such a fool, I believed every word, every text, every email that she truly loved me and wanted to be with me.

 

Aww, FLY! So sorry you are going through this. I suspect that you might be depressed as Kitkat says below. I think you should really consider that possibility and seek some professional help.

 

Also, she's not the most beautiful - that is the attachment speaking. You will heal and love again. Best,

 

When you're depressed, the basics of taking care of yourself become a full-time job. Not doing it, though, can result in a vicious cycle. Try to concentrate on how much better you feel when you do things that you know are good for you, and focus on that reward when you're putting the effort in.

[RiceWineSherry]

You are not a fool. You trusted someone who was a liar. That makes her the fool and bad person, not you. I think you should allow yourself more time to grieve. Its great that you have stopped drinking. But you really need a friend. Is there someone you can call to come round or talk to you on the phone? Dont try to get through this alone. Hang in there. She is the bad person, you are not.

 

Ditto! Well said Snugg.

 

You did what any individual who fell in love would do: You trusted and loved with all of your heart and that alone does NOT make you a bad person! She's the fool!

 

Don't be so hard on yourself Fly. Give yourself time to heal.

 

Let us know your progress!